


In the Family Way

by rusty_armour



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Time, Mpreg, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-17
Updated: 2009-11-17
Packaged: 2017-10-03 05:33:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 76,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rusty_armour/pseuds/rusty_armour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some are born into families; others create their own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I first came up with the idea for this story after my good friend, jackycomelately, recommended astolat's No Refunds or Exchanges (http://community.livejournal.com/sga_flashfic/151595.html) and I was introduced to the wonderful world of Harlequin AU. I joked that someone should write a Harlequin AU in which McKay is knocked up by Sheppard and then abandoned. I had no intention of writing the story myself, but it was already too late: the evil seed had been planted.
> 
> The original concept has changed quite a bit since the story first started incubating in my head, so I'm not sure how much this fic actually resembles a Harlequin anymore. I should also warn people that I've veered a bit from canon. For one thing, my Jeannie is very different from Martin Gero's Jeannie in "McKay and Mrs. Miller". I've also had to ignore certain events from season three. Anyone who's seen "Sunday" and "First Strike" (but especially "Sunday") will know exactly what I'm talking about. *g*
> 
> I should also add spoilers for SG-1's season nine and ten episodes, "Beachhead" and "Counterstrike," and point out that I've taken some liberties with events from that show as well.
> 
> As this story contains several Canadian references I have put together a glossary to help clarify certain words, phrases, place names:
> 
> http://rusty-armour.livejournal.com/22446.html
> 
> This story is set around the fifth year of the Atlantis expedition.
> 
> © 2009

  


  
Carson stared at it in fascination and revulsion. He had seen some bloody peculiar things in his time, but this had to be one of the strangest he had ever come across.

The house was festooned with hundreds of red and white Christmas lights that had to be blinding when lit up at night. On the front lawn there was a nativity scene, complete with wise men, shepherds, and even a donkey. Santa and his reindeer were perched precariously on the roof. Rodney took one look at the place and said, "My God, I've gone from Siberia to Scarberia. My personal hell is complete."

Carson looked away from the window. He couldn't be sure about Siberia, but he could think of parts of Glasgow that were closer to hell than Scarborough. Other than the Christmas house of horrors, the number of strip malls and hydro fields seemed to be the only real gripe Rodney had with the place. The surplus of donut shops hadn't bothered him in the least. He had already stopped at Tim Horton's to buy two boxes of Timbits.

"If you hate Scarborough so much why are we here?" Carson asked.

Rodney's cheeks flushed, and the knuckles around the stirring wheel turned white. "I need to check on something."

Carson turned his attention back to the window. "Okay, Rodney."

It was wonderful to feel the sun on his face. After their noisy cramped flights, Carson was desperately craving fresh air. Ignoring Rodney's protests, he had opened his window, allowing some of that air to penetrate the interior of the rental car. Although it was March, and there were still clumps of snow on the yellow lawns, it was an unseasonably warm day.

When Rodney turned on to Hellas Drive, Carson's eyes flicked to his face, but, for once, it wasn't giving anything away. Rodney pulled up to a curb. When the car stopped, Carson unbuckled his seat belt and reached for the door.

"What are you doing?" Rodney demanded. There was a sharp edge to his voice and his eyes had widened. It was a look Carson had become all too familiar with over the past two weeks.

"I'm getting out of the car," Carson said. "As we've stopped, I'm assuming we're here. Wherever that is."

Rodney nodded quickly. "Yeah, we're here, but we're not getting out." His fingers tapped a nervous rhythm on the dashboard. "Look, I...I just want to sit here for a few minutes. Then we can go."

Carson raised an eyebrow. "Rodney, where are we and what are we doing here?" he asked, but he wasn't sure if Rodney even heard the question. The man was staring intently at the house across the street. Carson sighed and closed his eyes. If all they were going to do was sit in the car, he'd squeeze in a quick nap.

Carson was just drifting off, when Rodney started shaking his shoulder. Carson opened his eyes and almost laughed when he saw Rodney duck. He craned his neck and spotted a blond woman walking down her driveway to a beige Honda that had definitely seen better days.

"Get down," Rodney hissed, from where he was scrunched down in his seat. Then, when he saw that Carson hadn't moved, he placed a hand on top of his friend's head and pushed him down.

"I don't think she can see us, Rodney, or, at least, she couldn't before you made that subtle attempt to hide," Carson said.

"Oh, God, really?" Rodney's head popped back up again and he peered anxiously out the window. The Honda was pulling out of the driveway and heading up the street.

"Who is she?" Carson asked when he was sure it was safe to talk again.

Rodney pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is stupid," he said. "I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry for dragging you out here." Rodney turned the key in the ignition, and Carson blinked at him in surprise. It wasn't often that he heard Rodney McKay admit to being wrong, let alone apologize. Whoever this woman was she had shaken him up badly.

As they drove the way they had come, Carson decided to test his own suspicions about the woman's identity. "Is it your sister?"

Rodney's head whirled around. "What?"

Carson hit his arm frantically. "Rodney, the road!" he shouted. The Sebring swerved, narrowly missing a kid on a bike. When his heart started beating again, Carson glared at his friend. "Rodney."

"Yes, yes, it was my sister, all right?" Rodney snapped.

"This may sound like a daft question, but why didn't you get out of the car and talk to her?" Carson asked.

Rodney's lips compressed into a thin line. "She doesn't want anything to do with me."

Carson frowned. "I realize you two aren't close..."

"I wrote her three times, Carson," Rodney said, holding up three fingers in case he wasn't making himself clear. "_Three_ times. She never wrote back. Not once."

"Then why are you here?" Carson asked.

Rodney's lips twisted into something resembling a smile. "She's my sister. I wanted to see her."

"Spying on her from a car isn't seeing her, Rodney," Carson said. "You should go back and talk to her."

They reached a stop sign, and Rodney stepped on the brakes with more force than was necessary. "I told you already, she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"You should hear her side of the story," Carson said.

Rodney snorted. "Yeah, because knowing the _exact_ reason why she shunned me is going to make me feel _so_ much better!"

Carson sighed. "Rodney, you need your family right now. Given your condition--"

"I don't want to talk about it," Rodney said.

"But--"

Rodney waved his hand dismissively. "I just want to get back to the motel. We can figure out what the hell we're going to do later."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Carson woke to the sound of retching in the bathroom. He threw back his covers and tumbled out of bed. He found Rodney hunched over the toilet, looking pale, shaky, and completely miserable. Rodney didn't say anything. In fact, he didn't even seem to notice that Carson was there until the other man grabbed him under the arms and hauled him to his feet. Once Rodney was leaning against the sink, he turned on the tap and splashed some water on his face. Carson handed him a plastic cup, and Rodney rinsed out his mouth.

"Are you okay?" Carson asked.

Rodney glared at him. "You're kidding, right?" Shaking his head, he trudged out of the bathroom and collapsed across his bed.

Carson fished inside his backpack and pulled out a box of crackers. Rodney lifted his head when Carson shook the box then groaned and fell back against his pillows.

"You'll feel better if you eat something," Carson said.

Rodney grimaced. "No, if I eat something, I'll throw up again."

"The crackers will help counteract the nausea," Carson said. He stood at the side of the bed and tried to hand Rodney the crackers, but Rodney curled up on his side and ignored him. Deciding not to press the issue, Carson left the crackers beside the bottle of apple juice on the bedside table. Then he freed the sheets that were tangled beneath Rodney's legs and draped them over his friend's shoulders. Rodney's eyes remained closed, but he pulled the sheets higher. Carson patted Rodney's back gently and returned to his own bed.

Laying still and silent, Carson waited for Rodney to fall asleep. When Rodney's breathing deepened, Carson sat up cautiously and peered across at the other bed. Rodney's eyes were still closed and his mouth was slack. Carson pulled back his sheets and tiptoed across the room to get dressed. Once that task was complete, he scribbled a note on a sheet of Dominion Motel stationary and left it on the bedside table. Then he walked over to the pair of trousers Rodney had tossed over a chair. With a nervous glance at his friend, Carson reached into one of the pockets and pulled out the keys to the Sebring.

Although his conscience was screaming at him, Carson believed he was doing the right thing. He just hoped Rodney would see it that way.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Carson didn't notice how late it was until he happened to glance at the Sebring's clock. He had hoped to catch Rodney's sister before she left for work, but as it was 8:47 a.m. he was sure he had already missed her. He was debating whether he should turn back and try again later when he found himself turning on to Hellas Drive. At first, Carson couldn't remember which number Rodney's sister lived at, but then he spotted the beige Honda and knew he had found the right house.

Carson hadn't considered the possibility that Rodney's sister might work nights or have the day off. He wondered if he should disturb her. Then he remembered Rodney curled up pathetically in his bed and got out of the car. He was knocking on the door before he realized that he had no idea what he was going to say.

The door swung open, and Carson came face to face with the woman he had only caught a glimpse of the day before. Her dirty blond hair was tied back in a messy ponytail, and she was wearing a faded t-shirt and jeans. Carson thought she was beautiful. He gaped at her with an open mouth until she snapped, "What?"

Carson gulped. "Uh, I'm a friend of Rodney's."

Her eyes narrowed. "A friend of Rodney's? _Rodney_?"

For a second, Carson wondered if he was at the right house. "You know. Rodney. Your brother."

The woman lifted her chin, and Carson _knew_ he hadn't been mistaken. "Yes, I know who Rodney is," she said. "I've just never heard anyone admit to being his friend before. I didn't think he had any."

Carson might have laughed, but he wasn't sure if she was joking. Rodney's sister must have seen something she didn't like in Carson's expression because her eyes widened and she had the same look Rodney had whenever he was about to fly into a panic.

"Oh, Jesus," she said. "Is Rodney dead?" She brought a trembling hand to her lips, and Carson began to wish he had stayed at the motel.

Using his most gentle and patient voice, Carson attempted to soothe the woman. "Rodney isn't dead. He's far from it. I promise."

Rodney's sister lowered her hand, though it still shook slightly. "What happened then? Why are you here?"

Carson sighed. "Miss, uh...Ms. McKay..."

Rodney's sister rolled her eyes. "Jeannie," she said.

Carson gave a quick jerk of his head. "Jeannie. Right. Uh, perhaps we could continue this discussion inside."

Jeannie lifted her chin higher this time. "Yeah, I don't think so. I haven't cleaned in three weeks. I'm not letting anyone in, especially a total stranger."

"I'm sorry," Carson said. "I didn't mean to be presumptuous."

Jeannie snorted. "Presumptuous? Yeah, okay." She snapped her fingers. "My brother. What's going on?"

"Ah...well..." Carson bit his lip.

Jeannie snapped her fingers again.

"He, uh...He has a medical condition," Carson said.

Jeannie's mouth fell open. "A medical condition? What kind of medical condition?"

Carson almost smiled in relief. Now he was in his element. "Besides being Rodney's friend, I'm his doctor, so I'm not allowed to divulge that information," he said. "It will be up to Rodney to decide what to tell you."

Jeannie's mouth fell open even further. "Rodney's _here_?" She scanned her surroundings quickly, as if expecting Rodney to pop out of some bushes.

"He's back at the motel," Carson said. "He wasn't feeling well."

Jeannie frowned. "Rodney's sick?"

"Aye, you could say that." To Carson, it seemed like the most convenient explanation.

"Give me two minutes," Jeannie said. She turned and stepped back inside the house, nearly slamming the door in Carson's face. When she came back out again, she was wearing a jacket and her hair was out of its ponytail. "As you know where you're going, you can drive."

As Carson was afraid of her wreck of a car, he simply nodded and led the way to Sebring. However, Jeannie hesitated before getting inside the car.

"Is something the matter?" Carson asked.

"Who the hell _are_ you?" Jeannie said. "I mean, do you have a name, or do you always introduce yourself as 'Rodney's friend'?"

Carson walked around to the passenger side of the car and extended his hand. "Carson. Carson Beckett."

Jeannie studied the hand for a moment then shook it. Carson opened the car door for her and couldn't help smiling when she blushed and muttered, "Thanks."

Jeannie was silent as Carson started up the car and drove up the street. When she still hadn't spoken two minutes later, Carson glanced at her curiously. Her hands were clenched tightly in her lap and she was biting her lower lip.

"I could turn on the radio," Carson suggested.

Jeannie started and stared at him for a moment. "What? No, no, it's okay," she said. Then she leaned forward and turned on the radio. After cycling through all the FM and AM stations twice, she gave a weary sigh and shut it off. She sank back in her seat and gazed out the window. "So Rodney sent you to find me."

"Uh, not exactly," Carson said.

Jeannie turned towards him. "Not exactly?"

Carson took a deep breath. "Rodney doesn't exactly know I'm here."

Jeannie jerked upright in her seat. "Stop the car."

"What?" Carson said.

"Stop the damn car!" Jeannie shouted.

Carson hit the breaks, and Jeannie winced as the mini-van behind them almost ploughed into their rear fender. The other driver honked his horn loudly and yelled a few choice words at Carson and Jeannie as the mini-van swept past them.

"Yeah, okay," Jeannie said. "Next time I tell you to 'Stop the damn car,' you're allowed to park it first."

Carson nodded tensely. "Aye, all right." He placed his foot back on the accelerator and drove the car into a plaza with a post office, dry cleaners, donut shop and adult video store.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jeannie demanded as soon as the car drew into a parking spot. "I mean, do you have any idea how stupid this is?"

Carson nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I do. I have a bloody good idea, actually, but Rodney wanted to see you, so here I am."

Jeannie gazed sullenly out the window. "If he really wanted to see me, he would have sent you."

"Rodney wants to see you. We drove to your house yesterday, but he was afraid to talk to you." Carson sighed and rubbed his face wearily. "He thinks you want nothing to do with him."

Jeannie stared at Carson blankly. Her mouth opened once, then twice, but no words came out.

"He said he wrote you three times and you never answered any of his letters," Carson said. He watched Jeannie's features as confusion shifted to comprehension. Then she was thumping her head against the headrest.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," she moaned.

Resisting the urge to pat Jeannie's shoulder sympathetically, Carson said, "Would you like to talk about it?"

"No. Good God, no." Jeannie placed a hand across her face, and Carson waited. "I thought he was just being polite!" Jeannie said. "I thought he wrote those letters because...because he felt obligated."

Carson laughed. "Obligated? _Rodney_?"

Jeannie glared at him. "Well, it's not as if he was ever that interested in me. I'm not a genius. I struggled through high school and dropped out of college. I'm _nothing_ like him."

This time, Carson did reach out to touch Jeannie's shoulder. "You're his sister. None of that matters, luv."

"Yeah? In what universe?" Jeannie asked. She shrunk away from Carson's hand, and her eyes focused on the window again. Carson was debating whether he should offer to drive her back home, when she spoke again. "The last few years haven't been great. In fact, they've pretty much sucked. Except for Andrew. He's my son."

Carson's eyes widened. Rodney had never mentioned having a nephew. "How old is your wee boy?"

"Well, I don't know if 'wee' is an accurate description." Jeannie smiled. "He's eight and he's growing like a weed. I had to buy him a new pair of shoes last week because he outgrew the pair I got him in September. I'm just hoping he can make it through the hockey season before he needs new skates."

"Your son plays hockey?" Carson was surprised. He didn't think anyone related to Rodney would possess athletic abilities.

As if sensing his thoughts, Jeannie said, "Andrew takes after his father, unfortunately."

Carson raised an eyebrow. "Unfortunately?"

"Yeah, I don't want my kid turning into a self-centered two-timing bastard," Jeannie said.

_Ouch_. Realizing that he was treading on dangerous ground, Carson immediately changed the subject. "Rodney will probably be up soon, if he isn't awake already. Uh, shall we make our way to the motel?"

Jeannie shook herself from her bitter thoughts. "Sure, that would be a plan. Where are you guys staying, anyway?"

"It's a place just outside of Scarber-Scarborough," Carson said. "The Dominion Motel."

Jeannie's head swivelled sharply. "You're kidding."

"No," Carson said. "Why? Have you heard of it?"

Jeannie grinned. "Oh, yes, I've heard of it. I think most of Toronto has heard of it."

Carson wasn't sure he liked her tone. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I'm guessing you haven't watched the news lately," Jeannie said.

Carson shook his head. "No, we only got here yesterday. Why? What happened?"

"Oh, nothing much," Jeannie said. "Just a major drug bust at the Dominion Motel."

Carson stared at her in disbelief. "A major drug bust?"

Jeannie laughed. "Yeah, we have drugs in Canada too, eh?"

"Oh," Carson muttered absently, "of course." He frowned. "I wondered why the place was so quiet. Rodney said it was the off-season."

"Or it could be the major drug bust," Jeannie said. "Eight kilos of cocaine and six kilos of heroin." She rolled her eyes. "You guys can't stay there."

"Aye, I guess you're right," Carson said. "I don't suppose you have any suggestions."

Jeannie tilted her head and studied him thoughtfully. "Oh, I think I can come up with something."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Carson had hoped that Rodney would still be sleeping when he returned to the motel, but instead of snores he was greeted by the sound of vomiting in the bathroom. His eyes darted to the bedside table to see if Rodney had made any effort to eat the crackers, which is when he spotted the open box of Timbits on Rodney's bed.

"Bloody fool," Carson grumbled. Then he glanced quickly at Jeannie. She stood watching the bathroom door with a mixture of fear and horror.

Carson squeezed her shoulder. "It's not as bad as it sounds."

Jeannie turned towards Carson slowly and stared at him as if he had completely lost his mind.

"Uh, I'll just go check on him," Carson said. He moved to the bathroom door, not bothering to knock before barging in on his patient.

Rodney was sitting on the bathroom floor, clutching the toilet bowl with both hands. He was pale and sweaty, though he no longer appeared to be throwing up his breakfast. He glared at Carson briefly before focusing on the toilet bowl.

"You only have yourself to blame," Carson said. "If you hadn't eaten those wee donuts--"

Rodney's eyes whipped back to Carson. "You left me! You-you abandoned me! I had to eat something! The Timbits were the only food source!"

Carson crossed his arms. "And what was wrong with the crackers I specifically left out for you?"

Rodney snorted. "Like crackers really count. If you'd had your way, I would have starved to death."

"Oh, for God's sake, Rodney, I wasn't even gone an hour!" Carson said.

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" Rodney shouted. "All your note said -- and thank you for not telling me in person -- was that you'd be back 'soon'. _Soon_. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are we talking an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year? I don't know! You might as well have written: 'I'm going for a walk now. I could be gone for some time.'"

Carson sighed heavily. "Now you're just being melodramatic."

Rodney's eyes narrowed to blue slits. "_I'm_ being melodramatic?" he said. "I'm not the one who snuck off in the early hours of the morning! I'm not the one who pulled a disappearing act!"

Carson was sure that Rodney would have started gesturing wildly with both hands if he hadn't been clutching the toilet. His pale face had flushed red, and it looked like he was about to launch into another tirade, when his jaw dropped and his anger was replaced by shock. "Jeannie?" he said.

Jeannie was hovering just outside the bathroom. She smiled nervously and waved. "Hi, Rodney."

"Hi." Rodney still looked stunned. "Uh, how are you?"

Jeannie swallowed and Carson could see that she was on the verge of tears. He reached for her wrist and pulled her into the bathroom. Then Jeannie slid down to the floor and wrapped her arms around her brother. Rodney's eyes widened in surprise, before he released his grip on the toilet and hugged Jeannie back. Neither sibling realized that Carson had left until they heard the quiet click of the bathroom door closing.

"Why didn't you write back?" Rodney asked.

Jeannie tensed and began to pull away, but Rodney just held her more tightly. "Why, Jeannie?"

Jeannie's voice was muffled against Rodney's shoulder. "I didn't think you were really that interested," she said.

Rodney frowned in confusion. "Of course I was interested. Why would I have written to you if I wasn't interested?"

Jeannie sighed. "You're a physicist, a-a god-damn genius."

"Yes, this is true," Rodney said, "but I don't see what that has to do with..." His expression clouded. "What? You didn't think we'd have anything to talk about? Is that it?" He shook his head. "Jeannie, I wasn't looking for an in-depth discussion on the grand unified theory. I was just trying to reach out. I know we grew up in a dysfunctional family, but you must have come across the concept in Hallmark cards and AT&amp;T commercials." Rodney took Jeannie by the shoulders and studied her face. "What's the real reason?" he asked.

Jeannie took a deep breath. "I screwed up my life."

"How?" Rodney asked. "How did you screw up your life?"

"Well, for one thing, Chris and I got divorced," Jeannie said.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Like no one saw that coming," he said. Jeannie hit his arm. "Oww! What?"

Jeannie smacked him again. "I knew you'd say something like that!"

Rodney jerked back, attempting to protect his beleaguered limb. "Well, I'm sorry, but I told you he was a jerk from the very beginning. As far as I'm concerned, divorcing Chris was a step in the right direction."

"The right direction?" Jeannie laughed. "I'm a single mother holding down two jobs."

"Oh," Rodney said.

Jeannie drew her knees to her chest. "Chris can't be bothered to pay alimony, and now that he and Heidi, the dental hygienist, have two kids of their own, he can't be bothered with Andrew either."

"I'm sorry," Rodney said. "I didn't know."

"I'd take him to court, but I'm up to my ears in debt." Jeannie played with a loose stitch on her jeans. "I can't even afford to buy new hockey equipment for Andrew. I have to buy it used or rely on hand-me-downs from older kids."

Rodney put his head in his hands. "Jeannie--"

"My ex-mother-in-law thinks I'm an unsuitable parent. I'm sure she'd sue for custody if she wasn't afraid the judge would take my side and force Chris to pay alimony."

Rodney tried to jump back into the conversation. "Jeannie--"

"Do you know how long it's been since I've had sex? I'm afraid to date anyone because Andrew thinks that any man I talk to has the potential to be his new--"

"Jeannie!"

Startled, Jeannie glared at her brother. "What?" she demanded. Then she noticed that Rodney's mouth was a hard thin line. She had quickly learned that this meant Rodney was angry or upset about something. Suddenly she remembered what had brought her here in the first place and felt guilty for allowing herself to get side-tracked.

Jeannie scooted closer to Rodney and began rubbing his back in gentle circles. Rodney exhaled in a sharp breath that sounded alarmingly like a sob and laid his head on Jeannie's shoulder.

"Your Scottish friend told me you had some kind of medical condition, but he refused to be any more specific than that," Jeannie said. She felt Rodney shake against her shoulder and, for one terrible second, she thought he was crying. Then she realized it was laughter, though it had a slightly hysterical quality to it. "Whatever it is you can tell me. Is it serious? Please, Rodney, I need to know."

Rodney raised his head and stared at Jeannie as if he had never seen her before. His face was flushed, and his eyes were suspiciously shiny, but a tiny smile was tugging at his lips.

"I'm pregnant," he said.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Carson had first learned Rodney was pregnant, when Ronon literally dragged Rodney into the infirmary back on Atlantis. After hearing raised voices, Carson emerged from his office to find Rodney fighting to free himself from Ronon's iron grip. Teyla and Radek, who had accompanied the pair, seemed torn between concern and amusement.

"What's all this, then?" Carson asked.

Still struggling, Rodney said, "Conan, here, has suddenly decided that he wants to practice medicine. Now, while I admit it doesn't take a lot of brain cells to become a doctor -- a medical doctor -- I'm sure there must be at least some rudimentary training involved."

Ronon made no effort to loosen his grip. "It's for your own good, McKay."

Rodney glared at him. "For my own good? I've probably lost the use of this arm thanks to you! Please explain to me how that can possibly be for my own good!"

Ronon ignored Rodney. "He's sick," he told Carson.

Rodney opened his mouth to protest, but Teyla quickly interrupted him. "He threw up his breakfast," she said.

Radek grimaced. "He almost did not make it to balcony in time."

Rodney blushed. "I only threw up a little."

Ronon shook his head. "It was a lot. I watched."

"And he threw up yesterday," Radek said. "He denies it, but I saw him running from the lab."

"Right." Carson walked to the exam table. "Bring him over here."

"Hey!" Rodney said. "I'm perfectly capable of-Oww! Ronon! That's my arm! My very valuable arm! A limb I was quite literally attached to until you wrenched it from its socket!" Rodney's indignation went up another notch, when Radek took his other arm and helped Ronon hoist him on to the exam table. He moaned and covered his face with both hands. "This is humiliating. Utterly humiliating."

Teyla placed a comforting hand on Rodney's shoulder. "You are our friend and your well-being is very important to us."

"Well, uh..." Rodney cleared his throat. "I appreciate that, but I'm sure there's nothing wrong with me," he said. Then he faltered under Teyla's forbidding stare. "At most, it's just a stomach bug."

"How about I take a look and we find out for certain?" Carson said. He had already snapped on a pair of gloves and was reaching for a thermometer.

Rodney finally surrendered. "Fine, fine, take a look, but do you think we can lose the audience? There is such a thing as doctor-patient confidentiality."

"Yes, Rodney." Carson turned to Ronon. "I think your job here is done. I can take over from here."

Ronon bowed solemnly and started walking out of the infirmary. "Get better, McKay."

"I'm not sick!" Rodney said.

Ronon grinned, shook his head, and kept going.

Teyla's hand returned to Rodney's shoulder. "If you need anything, you have only to ask," she said.

Rodney forced a smile. "Uh, yes. Thanks, Teyla."

She nodded and followed Ronon out of the infirmary, which left only Radek. The Czech scientist pushed up his glasses and thrust out his chin, a gesture he had obviously picked up from Rodney.

"I will look after everything while you are gone," he said. "You must rest and do what Carson tells you."

Rodney almost leapt off the exam table. "I'm only going to be gone from the lab for about 20 minutes, tops. I don't need to rest and, as I've never followed Carson's advice before--"

Carson thrust the thermometer in Rodney's mouth, effectively silencing him. "Thank you for your concern, Radek. Rodney will be taking the rest of the day off. If he requires any more time than that, I'll be sure to let you know."

Radek smirked at Rodney. "Thank you, doctor," he said. Then he saw the angry look in Rodney's eyes and bolted from the infirmary. Carson chuckled quietly and removed the thermometer from Rodney's mouth.

"Why did you tell him I'm taking the rest of the day off?" Rodney demanded.

"You threw up, Rodney. There's obviously something wrong with you." Carson picked up a tongue depressor next and examined Rodney's throat.

"It's just a stupid stomach bug," Rodney said. "Why is everyone acting like I'm on my death bed?"

Carson ran his hands along Rodney's neck and felt his glands. "Maybe they're acting that way because you're not -- on your death bed, that is. Usually, we gauge your health by the level of your complaints. When you're too quiet, we know it's time to worry."

"Ha, ha," Rodney said. "I almost find that amusing." Then he jumped when Carson raised his shirt, and a cold metal stethoscope landed on his back. "God, what do you do, Carson? Keep all your instruments in a freezer?"

Carson tutted at Rodney gently. "Don't be such a baby. You're full of enough hot air to keep you warm."

"Again with the jokes," Rodney said. "I'm beginning to think you spent more time in comedy clubs than residence." He winced as the stethoscope slid to another spot on his back.

"Deep breaths," Carson said. "In and out."

Rodney lifted his eyes to the ceiling. "Yes, Carson, I have actually learned how to breathe."

"Then start breathing and stop complaining," Carson said. Once he was satisfied that he'd heard everything he could from the back, he moved to the front and placed his stethoscope over Rodney's chest cavity. "Have you been experiencing any other symptoms? Dizziness? Headaches? Fatigue?" Rodney suddenly tensed and wouldn't meet Carson's eyes. "Rodney, anything you tell me will be kept in strictest confidence. You know that."

Rodney squirmed uncomfortably. "I've been feeling more tired lately and...and I've had a few headaches."

"How long have you been feeling this way?" Carson asked.

Rodney smiled nervously. "A couple of weeks."

Carson gazed at Rodney sternly. "And why am I only hearing about this _now_?"

Rodney threw up his hands helplessly. "I thought it was just me. The usual me. Well, the usual me during a crisis."

"Rodney, we haven't had a crisis in a long time," Carson said. "These symptoms aren't related to stress and exhaustion, unless there's something you're not telling me."

Rodney shook his head.

"Have you been experiencing nausea for the past couple of weeks too?" Carson asked.

Rodney hesitated then nodded.

Carson sighed. "Rodney, Rodney, Rodney." He stuffed his stethoscope in his lab coat pocket. "Lie down."

"Why?" Rodney asked, though he still complied.

Carson pulled up Rodney's shirt and started to palpate his stomach. "Any pain? Tenderness?"

"No," Rodney said. "Look, it's probably just a stomach bug."

"Stomach bugs don't last for two weeks." Carson removed his hand and studied his patient thoughtfully. "Colonel Sheppard left Atlantis a couple of weeks ago, which would be around the time you first began exhibiting these symptoms, is it not?"

Rodney stared up at Carson in confusion. "Are you suggesting that Sheppard poisoned me?"

"No, no, of course not," Carson said. "I just find it interesting, that's all."

"Interesting? Huh." Rodney propped himself up on one elbow. "Do you think I'm manifesting physical symptoms because I miss him?"

"Do you miss him?" Carson asked.

Rodney shrugged. "I suppose it isn't quite the same around here without him, but I don't regret that he's gone," he said. "This is an excellent opportunity, one that could lead to promotion. Besides, he'll be back in a few months." Rodney looked at Carson with pleading eyes. "That's what he said, right? It'll only be a few months?"

Carson patted his shoulder. "You're allowed to miss him, Rodney. He's your best friend. It's only natural that--"

"Yes, all right. If I had wanted to discuss my feelings, I could have gone to Heitmeyer." Rodney tried to sit up, but Carson pushed him back down on the table.

"I haven't finished my examination," Carson said.

"Oh?" Rodney asked. "Sorry. I just assumed that when you started wandering into the realm of psychology, you had run out of things to poke and prod me with and were clutching at straws."

Carson gritted his teeth and managed not to rise to the bait. "Wait here. I'll be back in a minute."

"I'll be counting the seconds until you return," Rodney said. "Literally. If it's more than 60, I'm outta here." He stretched, smiling smugly as Carson ran into his office. The smile faded when Carson returned in 28 seconds with something that looked like a cross between a computer tablet and an Etch A Sketch, only bigger. Its dimensions were approximately 30 cm by 50 cm, and it had a bronze metallic sheen. Rodney didn't like it one bit. "What the hell is that?" he asked.

Carson beamed brightly. "This is something I like to call a 'Portable Ultrasound,' though, being an Ancient device, the technology is obviously a bit more sophisticated than that."

"Obviously," Rodney muttered.

"Dr. Biro found it a few months ago," Carson said. "It's used to monitor the development of fetuses in the womb. I've found it extremely useful when examining my pregnant patients on the mainland."

Rodney grimaced in disgust. "I'm _not_ pregnant, Carson."

"Well, I know that, you daft fool," Carson said. "It can also be used for other types of internal scans. In this case, I can use it to take a look at your stomach."

Rodney waved his hand irritably. "Yes, yes, yes. Fine. Whatever. Just get on with it."

"All right. There's no need to be snippy." Carson held out the device so Rodney could see the screen. "If you were pregnant, the portable ultrasound would allow me to monitor both you and the baby." He shoved the device under Rodney's nose. "You wouldn't believe how sharp and clear the image is, even at the earliest stages of pregnancy. It's vastly superior to the sonograms produced by conventional ultrasound machines."

"That's nice." Rodney reached out to swat the device away then thought better of it when he realized he would have to touch it.

Carson hit a button on the ultrasound and another screen appeared. "It has eliminated the need for traditional pregnancy tests, as it can detect the presence of hCG in the blood. It has even replaced such invasive procedures as amniocentesis. It's absolutely incredible."

"Yes, that's truly fascinating," Rodney said. "A triumph for medical science. If I _were_ pregnant, I'm sure I'd be ecstatic."

Carson nodded absently, his eyes still fixed on the ultrasound. He had positioned it over Rodney's mid-section and was adjusting the settings. At first, he was so intent on examining Rodney's stomach that he didn't see it. When he did notice the uterus on the lower half of the screen, he almost dropped the ultrasound.

Rodney lifted his head in concern. "Carson?"

The ultrasound had to be displaying recorded images of the previous patient he'd examined. There could be no other explanation. He took a second look at the screen, and his jaw dropped. Just above the uterus was the vas deferens, a distinctly male anatomical feature. Carson's eyes flew back to the uterus and he discovered something even more shocking: a tiny embryo was attached to the uterine wall.

"It's impossible," Carson whispered. "It canna be."

"Okay, now I know it's serious," Rodney said. "Your Scottish brogue just got thicker." He sounded more frightened than annoyed, and Carson felt guilty for alarming his patient. The portable ultrasound was obviously malfunctioning.

_It's either that_, Carson thought, or _I've gone completely mad_. He lowered the portable ultrasound and plastered a smile on his face. "It's all right, Rodney. It's just a glitch."

"A glitch?" No longer facing imminent death, Rodney visibly relaxed. "Oh, well, so much for the wonders of medical science."

Carson gritted his teeth again. "It's just a temporary glitch, I assure you."

"If you say so," Rodney said. He sat up and slipped off the exam table.

"And where do you think you're going?" Carson asked.

Rodney pointed at the portable ultrasound. "Well, as your new toy doesn't work..."

"We'll use the MRI," Carson said. "Wonderful idea, Rodney."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Carson was watching a gardening segment on some morning show when the bathroom door opened. Jeannie's arm was around Rodney's waist and she was guiding him to his bed. Carson turned off the TV immediately.

"Is everything all right?" he asked.

Jeannie flashed him a smile, though it was a little strained. "I think Rodney needs a bit more sleep." She nudged a surprisingly quiet and complacent Rodney down on his bed. Rodney laid his head on his pillow, and Jeannie pulled the sheets up to his chin. Then, to Carson's amazement, Jeannie kissed Rodney on the forehead. "I'm just going to step out into the hall and talk to Carson, but I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay, Jeannie," Rodney said. He closed his eyes and shifted to find a more comfortable position.

Jeannie jerked her chin at the door, and Carson realized that this was an order, not a request. Not waiting to see if Carson would follow, Jeannie walked out of the motel room. She stationed herself next to fire extinguisher and leaned against the wall. Carson stood across from her, near the door in case Rodney needed anything. But his eyes were fixed on Jeannie, who was biting her lip pensively.

"Thanks for taking care of Rodney," Jeannie said. "I can see now why you were so reluctant to discuss his...condition with me, especially considering what my reaction might be."

"Wait a minute," Carson said. "Rodney _told_ you?"

"That he's pregnant? Yeah." Jeannie laughed quietly to herself and shook her head. "I always thought this would happen. In a way, I've been preparing for it my whole life."

Carson gaped at Jeannie in disbelief. "You thought Rodney would get pregnant?"

Jeannie barked out a laugh then quickly covered her mouth, as if fearing Rodney might hear her from inside the room. "You're horrible," she whispered, fighting back a grin. "Well, I guess a doctor with a sense of humour is a good thing in a situation like this. But, seriously, I always thought that Rodney might have a breakdown. I read somewhere that genius can be frighteningly close to insanity. In fact, I think that some geniuses have gone mad. Maybe some of them thought they were pregnant, like Rodney."

Carson's brow furrowed. Was she saying what he thought she was saying?

"Rodney can be cured, right?" Jeannie asked. "I mean, hysterical pregnancy isn't all that uncommon. They had an episode on _Grey's Anatomy_ where this guy thought he was pregnant, though I think it turned out that he had some kind of tumour in his stomach, so it made it look like he was pregnant." Suddenly Jeannie's eyes grew wide. "Oh my God! Rodney doesn't have a tumour, does he?"

Carson massaged his temples. "No, Rodney doesn't have a tumour." He wasn't suffering from a hysterical pregnancy either. However, as Carson saw Jeannie slump against the wall in relief, he couldn't bring himself to tell her. Although she had the right to know, and Rodney had obviously trusted her with his secret, Carson wasn't sure if she was prepared to handle the truth. There was also the little matter of the information being classified, or it would have been if Rodney wasn't guarding the secret from Atlantis, the SGC, and, essentially, the entire world. Still, the truth could bring up awkward questions that neither he nor Rodney was in a position to answer. If Jeannie found it easier to believe that her brother had lost his mind then maybe it was best for everyone involved if she remained unenlightened.

"I hope you don't mind me asking this," Jeannie said, interrupting Carson's thoughts, "but if Rodney doesn't have a tumour, and this is obviously a hysterical pregnancy, then shouldn't he be seeing a psychiatrist or something? That isn't to say that you aren't doing a great job of taking care of him, but Rodney told me that you're a medical doctor, not a shrink."

_Damn_, Carson thought. _She's got you there_. He sighed and leaned back against the wall. "I'm here, first and foremost, as Rodney's friend."

Jeannie nodded quickly. "Yes, of course, but...but he still works for the Air Force, right? Surely they have people who can treat him."

"They don't know about it," Carson said. Then he winced inwardly, realizing he'd revealed too much.

Jeannie stared at him with an open mouth. "Rodney's gone AWOL?"

Carson just managed to smother a laugh. "Rodney's a civilian, so that isn't an issue. Besides, the Air Force knows that he's left, uh, the research base."

Jeannie's forehead creased in confusion. "But I thought..."

"He's on a leave of absence," Carson said.

"For medical reasons?" Jeannie asked.

Carson almost sighed in relief. "Yes, exactly." In fact, that was essentially what he'd told Elizabeth.

Jeannie crossed from her wall to Carson's side of the hall. "You kept it quiet to protect Rodney's reputation."

Carson hesitated, not knowing what to say. They were straying even further from the truth, and he hated the idea of lying outright to Jeannie. Then he felt a hand on his arm.

"I want to help him," Jeannie said.

Carson squeezed her hand. "Of course you do."

"No, I mean it," Jeannie said. "I can handle it. I-I want to handle it." She glanced at the door. "I want Rodney to come stay with me."

Carson raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Oh, I see. Well, that's great."

"You're invited too, of course," Jeannie said. "If you want to." She blushed and looked at the fire extinguisher. Carson thought it was rather sweet, and not because it reminded him of Rodney.

"That's very kind of you," Carson said, "but I don't want to be any trouble."

Jeannie's eyes flew back to his face. "You wouldn't be. I assumed you would be staying to look after Rodney. I wouldn't have made the suggestion otherwise."

Carson smiled. "Well, if you're sure..."

"Good. Then it's settled," Jeannie said. "I'll need time to clean, so maybe you guys could come around 3:00 or 4:00."

Carson nodded. "That sounds perfect. Thank you."

Jeannie bit her lip. "You might not thank me when you see the place," she said. "There's only one spare room and it's in the basement. You and Rodney are going to have to fight over it and the couch in the living room."

Carson held back a grimace. "I'm sure it will be lovely."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
As Carson sat on the edge of his desk watching Rodney breathe deeply into a paper bag, he wondered if there was a way he could have broken the news without causing his patient to hyperventilate.

"But it's impossible!" Rodney gasped.

Carson laid a hand on one of Rodney's taut shoulders. "I know," he said. After receiving the same results from the MRI, and even a conventional ultrasound machine, Carson had been forced to accept that it was possible.

Rodney pulled the paper bag away. "But I never had a uterus before! I'm sure I would have noticed if I had! And-and pregnant? I can't be pregnant!" He grabbed Carson by his lab coat. "I'm a man! A man! How can I be pregnant?"

It was a struggle, but Carson managed to wrench free. "I don't know, Rodney. I was rather hoping you could tell me."

Rodney's face flushed. "Well, how the hell am I supposed to know? You're the quack, not me!"

"And you're the one who got knocked up!" Carson shouted. "You must have some idea how it happened!"

Rodney leapt up so quickly that his chair almost fell on the floor. He advanced towards Carson, who dodged behind his desk. "Do you think _I_ had something to do with this?"

"As you're the one who's pregnant, yes!" Carson said. "I'd say _you_ have everything to do with this!" He tensed when Rodney took another step towards him. Then Rodney pivoted on his heel and sank back in his chair. He passed a shaking hand across his face. Carson came out from behind his desk and approached Rodney cautiously.

"Do you know who the father is?" he asked.

Rodney stared at Carson for several seconds then started to laugh. When his laughter edged towards hysteria, Carson crouched in front of him and gripped his hand.

"Is it Colonel Sheppard?" he asked.

The laughter stopped abruptly. "What makes you think it's Sheppard?"

"I've seen the way you look at him," Carson said. "You've practically been in love with the man since the first day you met. And there have been signs from him as well.

Rodney groaned. "Please tell me he didn't ask you for lubricant."

Carson's lips twitched. "Well, he did now that you mention it."

"Oh, for the love of..." Rodney jumped up from the chair again and started pacing. "No one can know about this," he said.

Carson rose from his haunches. "We should at least tell Elizabeth."

"No!" Rodney said. "No one! You can't tell anyone! Doctor-patient confidentiality! I-I have rights!"

Carson lifted his hands in a placating gesture. "Of course you do, Rodney. You know I won't tell anyone. Not if you don't want me to."

Rodney closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "Thank you."

"Look, this is an awful lot to take in," Carson said. "You haven't even had a chance to consider all your options."

Rodney's eyes flew open. "Options? What options?"

"Well," Carson said, "whether you want to keep the baby or not, for one thing."

Rodney's hand moved instinctively to his belly. "What are you? Crazy? Of course, I'm keeping the baby!"

Carson was surprised by the intensity of Rodney's reaction. Given Rodney's dislike of children, Carson had just assumed he wouldn't want any of his own. Then the truth came out.

"This is a scientific miracle," Rodney said. "I'm the first human male to ever become pregnant. I have to carry through with the pregnancy in the interest of science." Rodney was now buzzing around the office in excitement, his hands fluttering. Carson decided it was time to introduce a dose of reality to the situation.

"Do you intend to spend your entire pregnancy in a lab?" he asked. "Are scientists going to adopt the baby?"

Rodney froze and paled visibly. "Oh my God. I hadn't even considered..." He fell back in his chair.

Carson rushed to his side. "Rodney, what's wrong?" He hadn't meant to upset him. Usually, Rodney was immune to sarcasm.

"They'll want the baby," Rodney said. "As soon as they find out about my pregnancy, they'll take it from me."

Carson frowned in confusion. "What are you talking about? Who's going to take the baby?"

Rodney gazed down at his belly. "The military, of course. They'll want to keep it in a lab, experiment on it."

Carson shook his head in disbelief. "Rodney, why would the military want your baby?"

Rodney snapped his fingers under Carson's nose. "Hello! We just discussed this. First male pregnancy. Miracle baby. Ring any bells? I think the question should be why _wouldn't_ the military want my baby?" Rodney looked around the room cautiously, as if expecting a marine to ambush him. "I have to get out of here."

"Well, I was hoping we could finish our discussion first," Carson said, "but..."

Rodney shook his head. "No, not the infirmary, Carson. Atlantis."

"Leave Atlantis?" Carson said. "Are you serious?"

Rodney looked around again and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Very. I'll need to go into hiding. Probably in Canada. They won't find me there."

"You don't think the SGC could find you in Canada?" Carson asked. "What's to stop them from tracking you down?"

Rodney snorted. "Please! Most Americans don't even know where Canada is!" he said. "The lucky few that do stumble across the border have skis strapped to their cars and are off in search of igloos and polar bears."

Carson laughed then realized that Rodney wasn't being entirely facetious. "So your brilliant plan to evade the military is to go into confinement...in Canada?"

"Confinement," Rodney said, enunciating each syllable carefully. "Huh." He tilted his head to one side as if contemplating the word. Then he broke into a grin. "Confinement. Yes, that's it exactly. I'll go into confinement."

Carson sat down heavily, landing on his desk. "Rodney, you've had some rather shocking news. Maybe you should take some time to--"

Rodney raised his hand. "No, I'm not going to change my mind. I'm going into confinement. As soon as possible."

"You're only six weeks pregnant. You're not even showing yet." Carson sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You're going to leave Atlantis no matter what I say, aren't you?"  
Rodney lifted his chin, but remained silent, which was the only answer Carson needed.  
"All right," he said. "I'll talk to Elizabeth and--"

"But you can't say anything! You promised!" Rodney had that panicked expression on his face. He grabbed Carson's arm, his fingers digging into the skin.

"Rodney, I wasn't going to tell her about your condition," Carson said. "I was going to tell her that you require a leave of absence."

"For what reason?" Rodney asked. His fingers were still wrapped tightly around Carson's arm.

"I'll tell her that you've been under a great deal of stress and could use some time off," Carson said.

Rodney wasn't impressed. "Okay, that might buy me a few weeks, but not a gestation period."

_Gestation period? Bloody hell_. "I'll tell her that you're exhausted," Carson said aloud, "and at serious risk of a breakdown."

Rodney looked thoughtful. "Do you think she'll buy it?"

Carson studied Rodney, taking in his pale complexion and the dark circles under his eyes. He knew how little sleep Rodney got, even on the best of days, and how hard he worked in general. Claiming that Rodney was on the verge of a collapse wouldn't be a huge stretch.

"I think I can convince her," Carson said.

"Oh, okay." Rodney's grip on Carson's arm loosened and he pulled his hand away.

Carson smiled. "Great. With any luck, we should be able to leave in the next week or two."

Rodney's eyebrows shot up. "_We_?"

"Aye," Carson said. "Someone will need to keep an eye on you."

"For God's sake, I'm a grown man, Carson," Rodney snapped.

"You also happen to be pregnant. I'm going to need to monitor you." Carson's eyes were gentle and full of concern.

Rodney's own eyes shifted to the floor. "I can't ask this of you."

"You don't have to," Carson said. "You're my friend. I'm going to be there."

Rodney's head jerked up and he stared at Carson. Then he gave a nervous nod. "Uh, yeah, okay. I...I guess I really can't do this on my own." Rodney rose from his chair. "I should go. I, uh..."

"You have a lot to think about, yes." Carson stood and, placing an arm around Rodney's shoulders, he escorted him from his office. "Get some rest," he said, as they walked through the infirmary. "We can talk again later."

Looking lost and hopelessly bewildered, Rodney simply nodded again and stumbled out the door. Carson managed to make it to a bed before his legs gave out. Torn between laughing and crying, he put his head in his hands.

"Trust Rodney McKay to get himself knocked up," he muttered.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
"I can't believe how well Jeannie's taking the news," Rodney said. "I thought she'd freak out for sure."

Carson smiled weakly, trying to smother his guilt over deceiving both siblings. He had been tempted to tell Rodney what Jeannie really thought of his pregnancy, but Rodney was happy for the first time in days, and Carson wasn't about to shatter the illusion, no matter how much his conscience nagged him.

"Not bad, eh?" Rodney's eyes were fixed on the plate of chocolate chip cookies on the coffee table, but Carson assumed he was referring to Jeannie's house. Carson gave the living room a perfunctory glance.

"It's lovely," he said.

"Why, thank you." Jeannie emerged from the basement, lugging a laundry basket. "It's amazing what a difference it makes when you can actually see surfaces." She set the basket down on the couch next to Rodney. "Enjoy it while it lasts. It'll be a different story when Andrew comes home."

Rodney tore his eyes from the plate of cookies. "Ah, Andrew. Uh, when is he coming home exactly?"

Jeannie pulled some towels from the laundry basket. "Are you sure you're okay sleeping on the couch?" she asked Carson.

"Oh, yes," Carson said. "You get used to sleeping in some rather odd places when you're a doctor. Well, when you sleep at all, that is."

Rodney snorted. "Says the man who slept a solid eight hours last night."

"It was more like seven." Carson smiled at Jeannie. "The couch will be fine."

"In that case, Rodney can help me make up the bed in the basement," Jeannie said. She tossed a sock at her brother's head. Rodney grumbled under his breath, but still rose from the couch. Carson was about to get up himself, but Jeannie put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay. We can handle it." She leaned forward to whisper in Carson's ear. "I know what Rodney can be like. I'm sure you could use a break."

Carson was about to argue that he didn't need a break, that he and Rodney had spent most of the day watching TV in their motel room, when Rodney turned and glared at them.

"I heard that," he said.

Jeannie rolled her eyes. "Shout if you need anything."

"All right," Carson said. "Thanks." He had a feeling that the real reason Jeannie was giving him a break was so that she could spend some time with her brother. When they hadn't returned from the basement fifteen minutes later, his suspicions were confirmed. Smiling to himself, he started reading another article in The Mirror. He was almost halfway through it when the front door opened and a little boy walked into the house.

Carson watched as the boy, ignorant of his presence, dropped his backpack on the floor and yanked off his sneakers. Then the boy looked up and froze when he saw the stranger sitting in his living room.

"Hello," Carson said. "You must be Andrew." He held out his hand. "I'm Carson."

The boy stared at him. With his dark hair and big brown eyes, he didn't bear much resemblance to his mother or uncle. "Are you my mom's friend?"

"Actually, I only just met your mum today," Carson said. "I'm your Uncle Rodney's friend."

"Oh." Andrew almost sounded disappointed. Then his face scrunched up as if he were thinking about what Carson had just told him. "Uncle Rodney?" he asked.

"Aye, he's in the basement with your mum. He's helping her put the spare room together." Though Carson wondered how much Rodney was helping as opposed to hindering. "We're both going to be staying here for a while." When the boy didn't say anything in response, Carson said, "I hope that's okay."

Andrew shrugged. "I guess." He walked into the kitchen and headed straight for the fridge. Carson put down the paper and followed. Andrew was pouring himself a glass of apple juice. Some of it dribbled on the counter, but Andrew didn't seem to care. It wasn't until he had returned the tin to the fridge that he noticed Carson. "Oh, would you like some?"

"No, it's all right, son." Carson leaned against the counter and watched in amazement as Andrew swallowed almost the entire glass of juice in one gulp. "Are you allergic to citrus?" he asked.

Andrew swiped the back of his hand across his mouth. "What's citrus? Is it, like, oranges and stuff?"

"Yes, that's right," Carson said. "Oranges, lemons, limes, grapefruit. I thought you might be allergic because you're drinking apple juice."

Andrew drained the rest of his glass. "I drink apple juice because I like it, but I think I had an allergy test when I was little."

Carson nodded. "Aye, your mum probably had you tested because your uncle's allergic to citrus."

"I know." Andrew tilted his head to one side thoughtfully. "I met Uncle Rodney when I was a baby, but I don't remember."

Carson chuckled. "Well, no, I suppose you wouldn't."

"Mom says I spit up all over him," Andrew said. "Do you think that's why Uncle Rodney didn't want to see me again?"

"No, of course not! I'm sure it's just because your uncle has been busy with work and..." Carson trailed off when he realized Andrew wasn't really listening.

Oblivious to Carson's concern, Andrew was rooting through a cupboard for snacks. "Mom says Uncle Rodney is really smart and he'd like me because I'm good at math." He tossed a glance over his shoulder at Carson and rolled his eyes. "Math's okay, but it's not hockey."

"Yes, your mum mentioned that you play hockey. Uh...what position?" Carson asked, hoping he had used the right terminology. Andrew, a box of crackers clutched to his chest, spun around. His face lit up.

"Forward," he said. "I've played left wing the last two games. Do you play hockey?"

Carson bit his lip. "Uh, no. To be honest, I don't know a lot about it."

"Oh." Andrew regarded Carson with something close to pity. Then he suddenly grinned. "I could teach you!" He tugged on Carson's sleeve, and Carson allowed himself to be led from the kitchen. After Andrew finished rifling through a box full of video tapes, they were sitting on the couch watching a hockey game. As Andrew explained the rules, strategies and even some of the stats, Carson was reminded of all the times Rodney presented his scientific findings at a briefing or came up with some theory to save Atlantis. Andrew spoke in the same animated manner, eyes bright, hands gesturing wildly.

When Rodney and Jeannie emerged from the basement, they gaped at the pair until Carson saw them from the corner of his eye.

"Andrew's been teaching me about hockey," Carson said.

Jeannie recovered first. "Uh, yes, I can see that." She smiled and shook her head. "I hope you realize that you'll never be able to leave now, that you've just become his best friend." She glanced at Andrew. "Did you at least offer the poor man a drink before you inflicted hockey on him?"

Andrew nodded absently. "Yeah, I asked him if he wanted apple juice, but he said no."

"Big surprise," Jeannie mumbled. "Look, turn that off for a minute and come meet Uncle Rodney."

Andrew hit the stop button with an exaggerated sigh and stood up. Carson and Jeannie watched in amusement as he sized his uncle up. As the seconds passed, Rodney looked more and more anxious. Finally, he whispered to Jeannie, "Am I supposed to hug him or something?"

Jeannie swatted his arm. "Yes, you're supposed to hug him! He's your nephew!"

Rodney swallowed nervously, while Andrew just grimaced. When neither Rodney nor Andrew made any further move, Jeannie snapped, "Andrew, give your uncle a hug."

Andrew crossed his arms and pouted. "Do I have to?"

"That depends," Jeannie said. "Do you want supper tonight? I was going to make Kraft Dinner."

Kraft Dinner?" Rodney rushed past Jeannie and swept Andrew up in his arms.

"Gee, this is so touching," Jeannie said. "If only there was film in my camera." She frowned when Andrew started struggling. "You can stop now, Rodney. You're starting to creep me out."

"Are you really making KD for supper?" Rodney asked.

"Yes!"

"Well, okay, then," Rodney said. He instantly released Andrew, who backed several feet away from his uncle.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Carson stared at the pieces of hotdog floating in a sea of ketchup and vivid orange macaroni.

"I'm sorry," Jeannie said. "I'm so sorry."

Carson managed to tear his eyes away from Andrew's plate, quickly swallowing his disgust. "No, it's delicious."

Jeannie gave him a skeptical look. "You've barely touched it."

Carson glanced at Rodney, who was shovelling food into his mouth as if it were his last meal. "I'm a slow eater."

"Look, it's okay," Jeannie said. "I didn't have a chance to go grocery shopping and had to make do with what was in the house." Her eyes shifted to Andrew's plate. "This isn't exactly my best effort."

Rodney paused mid-bite. "It isn't?"

Jeannie glared at him. "No, it isn't."

"I don't know what the problem is," Rodney said. "I think this tastes great."

"Me too," Andrew said around a full mouth of Kraft Dinner.

"And it's nutritious." Rodney waved at his own plate, which, thankfully, was more orange than red. "With the hot dogs, you've got some kind of protein, with the powdered cheese sauce you've almost met a dairy requirement, and with the ketchup there's, uh, starch."

Jeannie rolled her eyes. "Rodney, you think stale cheesies are good."

"Well, they are," Rodney said. "They're nice and crunchy."

Jeannie put her head in her hands. "I think I'd better go grocery shopping tonight."

"You're tired," Rodney said. "Why don't you go tomorrow?"

"Because I probably won't have time." Jeannie massaged her temples. "I've got to be at the coffee shop to cover the morning shift. Then I have to work a double shift at Neptuna because--" She bit back what she'd been about to say, but Carson still figured it out. He knew Jeannie was working the double shift to make up for the fact that she'd missed work today. By the guilty look on Rodney's face, he had worked it out too.

Rodney cleared his throat. "Uh, I could go grocery shopping for you."

Jeannie raised her head from her hands. "It's okay. Don't worry about it."

"Well, I don't exactly have plans for tomorrow," Rodney said, "and I want to do it."

Jeannie eyed him suspiciously. "You _want_ to go grocery shopping?"

Rodney wasn't phased. "Yeah. I mean, it's not like I really have the chance any more, what with living on--"

"The research base," Carson said.

Rodney nodded. "Uh, right. The research base."

Jeannie still didn't look convinced, but she let it go. "Okay, I'll make out a list and give you some money."

Rodney's fork hovered in mid-air. "What will I need those for?"

Jeannie spoke slowly and carefully, as if addressing a small child. "The list is so you know what to get, and the money is what you'll need to pay for it."

Rodney set his fork down on the table. "_I'll_ be paying for the groceries."

"The hell you will." Jeannie didn't sound happy. Carson and Andrew both glanced at her nervously, but Rodney didn't even flinch.

"I know you said you didn't want any money," Rodney said, "but I need to pay for something."

Jeannie's hands curled into fists. "I don't want your money, Rodney. You're a guest and you're family."

"I'm also an extra mouth to feed," Rodney said. "If we were staying anywhere else, I'd have to pay for my accommodation _and_ meals." He fixed his sister with a pout Carson knew he'd borrowed from John Sheppard. "At least let me contribute something."

Jeannie sighed, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "Fine. You can pay for half the groceries, but _only_ half."

Rodney smiled triumphantly. "Okay, only half, but I don't need a grocery list." The smile faded when Jeannie simply stared at him. "What?" he demanded.

"Andrew's a growing boy and needs more than just junk food," Jeannie said.

Rodney huffed indignantly. "Jeannie, please. He's my nephew. I have only his best interests at heart." He leaned towards Andrew and whispered, "So what brand of hotdogs do you prefer? Schneiders?"

Jeannie groaned. "I'm making a list."

"Aye, and I'll go with him to make sure he follows it," Carson said.

Jeannie shot him a look of gratitude. "Thanks. I'd appreciate that." She took a sip of water, ignoring Rodney's irritated scowl. "Speaking of food, I'm afraid you guys will be on your own for dinner tomorrow night, but Andrew will be at a sleepover so at least you'll have the place to yourselves."

Andrew bit his bottom lip. "Uh, Mom..."

Jeannie raised an eyebrow at her son's anxious tone. "Yes, Andrew?"

"I was supposed to tell you. Britney's sick so there isn't going to be a sleepover," Andrew said.

Jeannie's face fell. "What? Oh, Andrew!"

"I'm sorry!"

"You could have told me sooner!"

"I forgot!"

Jeannie shook her head. "She's your best friend and you forgot. Well, that's just great." She stood up and snatched the cordless phone from the living room. "Now I've got to hunt down a babysitter."

"Ask Megan," Andrew said. "I like Megan." He smiled almost dreamily.

Jeannie's grip on the phone tightened. "I know you like Megan," she growled. "Every kid on the street likes Megan. But I may not be able to get her because you waited until _now_ to tell me."

Andrew banged his fork on the table. "I said I was sorry!"

Jeannie ignored her son and started jabbing the buttons on the phone.

Carson cleared his throat. "I hate to interrupt, but why couldn't Rodney and I baby-sit Andrew?"

Jeannie dropped the phone and stared at Carson blankly. "What?"

"I second that. _What_?" Rodney said. Then he winced as Carson kicked him under the table. "On the other hand, I suppose I could use the, uh, practice."

Jeannie was still staring at Carson. "Umm...do you really think that's a good idea, what with Rodney's..." She twirled her hand elaborately.

"My what?" Rodney asked.

Jeannie blushed and lowered her eyes to the table. "Your medical condition, Rodney."

"Oh, that." Rodney waved off her concern with a flick of his wrist. "I'm only about eight weeks along, and it's not as if I'm planning on doing anything strenuous, like lifting the kid." He shot a sharp look at Andrew. "I won't have to lift you, will I?"

Andrew glanced from his uncle to his mother in confusion. "Medical condition?"

Jeannie gritted her teeth. "We'll talk about it later, Andrew."

"I don't mind if you tell him now," Rodney said. "He's going to find out about it sooner or later." Rodney laid a hand across his belly and patted it in an almost affectionate manner.

Andrew didn't miss the gesture and was now brimming with curiosity. "Tell me what?"

Jeannie took a deep calming breath. "I would rather talk to Andrew about this privately, when the time is right."

"Oh..." Rodney smiled smugly. "You haven't had 'the talk' yet, have you?"

Jeannie blushed even more. "That's none of your business, Rodney."

"Look," Rodney said. "He's probably already heard all about it from his little friends in the schoolyard."

Some of the confusion lifted from Andrew's face. "Is this about sex?" he asked.

Rodney jumped up and down in his chair, pointing at his nephew excitedly. "See! I told you!"

"Oh God." Jeannie slumped across the table, her head falling on her arms.

"What's the big deal?" Rodney said. "Mom told me about the birds and the bees when I was about Andrew's age."

Jeannie's head jerked up. "Mom only told you because she was pregnant with me, and you kept asking her why she was getting so fat!"

Carson, who had been doing his best to stay out of the family squabble and force down his meal, immediately began choking on a piece of macaroni. Jeannie leapt out of her chair and pushed a glass of water into his hand, while Rodney thumped him on the back ineffectually. Carson eventually coughed enough to clear his airway then gulped down some of the water.

"Mom," Andrew said, when it was clear the crisis was over, "if they baby-sit me are we going to be talking about sex because it's gross and-and I want to watch the game."

Jeannie beamed at her son with an expression of love, tenderness and relief. "Of course you don't have to talk about sex and you can watch as much hockey as you like."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
At first, Carson thought he was dreaming, but when he rolled over and felt a painful twinge in his neck, it was still there. It was faint and sounded like gunfire. Carson focused on the sound again. It was almost like an energy weapon: Ronon's pistol or maybe a Wraith blaster.

Carson's eyes flew open and he scrambled to sit up. That was when he realized the Wraith weren't attacking Atlantis. He wasn't even in the Pegasus Galaxy anymore, but lying on a couch in a Scarborough living room. It was dark except for the glow of the TV. Carson squinted and was able to make out a small pyjama-clad back. Andrew was sitting cross-legged on the floor. Carson shifted to get a better look at what the boy was watching and his sheets rustled. Andrew twisted around to stare at him.

"Did I wake you up?" Andrew whispered.

Carson rubbed his face groggily. "No, no, I was just dozing."

"Oh, okay. Would you like some breakfast. I can make cereal." Andrew lifted a bowl for Carson to inspect in the dark. Carson couldn't be sure, but he thought the milk looked pink.

"It's all right," Carson said. "You're watching your show."

"It's okay. I've seen this one." Andrew sprang to his feet and, not knowing what to do with his bowl, he thrust it into Carson's hands. Carson looked down and saw that the milk was, indeed, pink.

Andrew poked his head through the kitchen hatch. "What kind of cereal do you want?"

Carson gulped, knowing he might live to regret this. "Surprise me," he said.

When Andrew returned to the living room, they exchanged cereal bowls, and Carson was surprised when, instead of squatting in front of the TV, Andrew flopped down beside him on the couch. About twelve hours later, they were sitting on the same couch watching a hockey game and eating pizza.

The pizza had been Rodney's idea. Despite Carson's warning about how his stomach might react to the spices, Rodney had insisted that it was an essential component to the whole babysitting experience. When the pizza arrived, Rodney was forced to take his nose out of the newspaper long enough to notice the hockey game. He looked at his nephew and shook his head. "You're a Canadian cliché. Do you realize that?"

Andrew's brow creased. "What's a cliché?"

Carson grinned mischievously. "It means your Uncle Rodney thinks you're very special," he said.

Andrew blushed and looked away. "Oh, um, thanks," he mumbled.

Rodney glared at Carson before swooping down to snatch two slices of pizza from the open box on the coffee table. Then he raised the paper again and ignored the game.  
"I take it you're not a hockey fan, then," Carson said.

Rodney snorted. "Please. Hockey is practically a religion here, and you know how I feel about religion."

Andrew frowned at his uncle in disappointment, and Carson patted him sympathetically on the shoulder. Rodney didn't speak again until the end of the first period, when a commentator announced that the referee would probably be sending one of the Leafs to the sin bin after he had purposely slammed a Ranger into the boards.

Carson raised an eyebrow at Andrew. "Sin bin?" he asked.

"Penalty box," Rodney said, beating Andrew to the answer. He froze when he realized what he'd done then scowled at Carson and Andrew when they made no attempt to hide their delight. "It's impossible to grow up in this country and not pick up some of it by osmosis."

Carson eyed Rodney incredulously. "Sin bin?"

"Okay, okay," Rodney said. "Maybe I've watched a game or two in my time. I mean, really, who hasn't?"

Andrew smiled around a mouthful of pizza. "I knew you liked hockey."

Rodney grimaced. "I admitted no such thing."

"Then why did you watch it?" Andrew asked.

Unable to come up with a suitable excuse, Rodney said, "You're an obnoxious little brat. Do you know that?" Andrew stuck out his tongue, and Rodney sputtered in outrage. "You're not allowed to do that! I'm your uncle: you're supposed to respect me!"

Andrew blew a raspberry and stuck his tongue out even further.

Rodney immediately started whining. "Carson, make him stop! He's not supposed to do that!" he said, but Carson was laughing too hard to render any assistance.

By the third period, Carson could feel himself getting drowsy. Then he began leaning heavily on the arm of the couch, and Andrew moved to the other end so he could stretch out. Carson fell asleep to Rodney's rants about the referee's severe mental deficiency.

When he woke up, there was an afghan draped over him. He heard voices and looked down to find Rodney and Andrew, their backs against the couch, having a quiet conversation on the floor.

"So this Britney is your best friend?" Rodney asked.

Andrew shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

"But she's a girl," Rodney said.

Andrew gazed down at his stocking feet. "She's really good at hockey," he muttered.

Rodney just managed to conceal a smile. "Ah, of course."

"And she's not really a girl 'cause Mom says she's a tomboy," Andrew said.

This time, the corner of Rodney's mouth twitched. "I hate to break it to you, kid, but that doesn't really change anything. She just has more sense than the other little girls her age. Still, I guess you could do worse."

Andrew studied Rodney for a moment. "Who's your best friend?" he asked. "Carson?"

"No," was Carson's sleepy response. "Colonel Sheppard is."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
It was late and the mess hall was virtually empty. It would seem that, with the exception of his team, most of Atlantis had gone to bed. Of course, Rodney had been working into the wee hours and had resented the interruption, but Sheppard had said it was important, so Rodney had come.

As soon as Rodney approached their table, he knew something was wrong. Although Sheppard had adopted a casual pose, it seemed forced and not up to its usual standard. His tight smile belied his laidback sprawl. Rodney exchanged looks with Teyla and Ronon and saw that they were both ill at ease, as if sensing the tension emanating from Sheppard. Rodney sighed and pulled up a chair.

All four team members stared at each other until Sheppard cleared his throat and caught everyone's attention. "Uh, thanks for coming. This is something I thought you deserved to hear in person, so, uh..." He wiped his hands on his BDUs in a nervous gesture that was totally uncharacteristic of Sheppard.

Rodney immediately felt a surge of panic. "What's wrong?" he demanded.

"Nothing," Sheppard said. "Nothing's wrong. I just have something to tell you."

"Is it the Wraith?" Teyla asked. She was trying to be stoic, but Rodney could see that she was concerned.

Sheppard was quick to alleviate her fears. "No, no, it's nothing like that."

Ronon sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "Are the Ancients kicking us out of Atlantis again?"

Sheppard ran a hand across his face. "No, the Ancients aren't kicking us out of Atlantis again." He took a deep breath. "I'm leaving."

Rodney's eyes widened. "What?"

"You can't do that," Ronon said. "We need you here."

Teyla touched Sheppard's arm. "This is your home. Why should you wish to leave?"

Sheppard raised a hand defensively. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" he said. "I obviously should have phrased that better. I'm being temporarily re-assigned to the SGC."

"Why?" Rodney asked.

Sheppard rubbed his wristband absently. "The Ori threat has been growing. The SGC believes that it's only a matter of time before there's an all out war, so they're doing everything they can to prepare for such a situation."

Teyla raised an eyebrow. "Prepare how?"

"By recruiting experienced military commanders, like Sheppard, to fight in their war," Rodney said. He glanced at Sheppard. "Isn't that right, Colonel?"

Sheppard squirmed in his chair. "Well, I wouldn't exactly say 'fight'. I'd be more involved with the training aspect of things. The SGC seems to think that, with my knowledge and experience, I'd be an asset."

"Well, of course you would," Rodney said. "What you've learned on Atlantis alone makes you invaluable. They'd be fools not to see that."

Sheppard inclined his head graciously. "Thank you, Rodney. If I ever need a good recommendation, I'll be sure to come to you."

Rodney tried to look smug, but it was a half-hearted effort at best.

Teyla leaned forward, her elbows resting on the table. "You said you had been temporarily re-assigned. How long will you be gone?"

Sheppard was careful not to meet anyone's eyes. "A few months."

Rodney's mouth fell open. "A few _months_?"

"Six months at most," Sheppard said.

Rodney shook his head. "Six months. You're going to be gone for six months."

Sheppard shrugged. "It's not as if I haven't been gone for six months before."

"If you're talking about your little trip to Oz," Rodney said, "you were only gone for about a day."

Sheppard glared at him. "It was six months for _me_, Rodney!"

Instead of giving a snarky comeback, Rodney gazed down at his hands. "Oh, uh, right. Sorry."

Teyla and Ronon must have looked equally glum because Sheppard said, "I'm going to be back before you know it. Before you even have a chance to miss me."

"When are you leaving?" Teyla asked, ignoring Sheppard's attempt to comfort them.

"Two weeks," Sheppard said. Then he frowned as Rodney emitted a high-pitched squeak. "Are you okay, buddy?"

Rodney nodded vigorously, but seemed incapable of speech.

Teyla rose swiftly from the table. "Perhaps we could continue this discussion in the morning. It is late and Ronon and I will both be rising earlier than usual."

This was apparently news to Ronon. "We will?" he asked.

"Do you not remember? We agreed to hold a sparring practice with some of the Marines." Teyla jerked her head at Rodney in a way that even Rodney, who was usually oblivious to such gestures, recognized as a hint.

"Oh, right," Ronon said. "The sparring practice." He stood and gave a quick wave before following Teyla out of the mess hall.

Sheppard massaged the back of his neck. "Well, that went about as well as I expected."

Rodney barely mustered a smile. "You expected it to go well?"

Sheppard squeezed Rodney's shoulder. "It will only be a few months."

"Sure," Rodney said. "Only a few months." He spoke in a flat emotionless voice, and Sheppard became even more concerned.

"Rodney, are you sure you're okay?" he asked. "Because, seriously, you don't look it."

Rodney pulled himself together with visible effort. "Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be? As I said before, you'll be an extremely valuable asset. The SGC can use all the help they can get against the Ori, and this is a wonderful opportunity for you. It might even lead to another promotion."

Sheppard's hand returned to Rodney's shoulder, and Sheppard looked directly into Rodney's eyes. "If I'm going to earn another promotion, I'd rather earn it, here, on Atlantis."

Rodney swallowed around the lump in his throat. "Well, yes, I'm sure we'd all prefer that."

Sheppard's eyes remained locked with Rodney's. "No matter what happens, I'm coming back."

"Promise?" Rodney said.

This time when Sheppard smiled, it was absolutely genuine. "Yeah, Rodney, I promise."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Someone was shaking his shoulder. Carson opened his eyes slowly and saw an angel with golden tresses floating above him. He blinked his eyes and the angel materialized into Jeannie.

"Hi," she said.

"Oh, hi." Carson sat up and looked around the living room. Rodney was still sitting on the floor, but the couch was propping him up, and his head was leaning against one of the cushions. Andrew was nowhere to be seen.

"Relax," Jeannie said when she saw the flash of panic in Carson's eyes. "He put himself to bed. He's tucked in and everything."

Carson scrubbed a hand over his face. "I guess we don't make very good babysitters."

Jeannie bit her lip. "It could be worse. I fell asleep during one of Andrew's hockey games and missed him scoring a goal. He didn't speak to me for _days_." She broke into a grin, and Carson couldn't help laughing. "Come on," she said, glancing down at Rodney, "we'd better get Sleeping Beauty to bed."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
"Are you sure he isn't bulimic?" Jeannie asked.

They were standing outside the basement bathroom, listening to Rodney throw up. Carson had hoped that the B6 supplement and improved diet would help alleviate Rodney's symptoms, but the morning sickness was just as bad as ever.

"Rodney isn't bulimic," Carson said. He tried to sound patient, but it wasn't easy when Jeannie asked him the same question almost every morning. By the stubborn set of her jaw, Carson could tell that she still wasn't convinced.

"Guys can suffer from bulimia too, you know. It was on 20/20 or one of those shows." Jeannie lifted her chin defiantly as if her news program was just as valid as Carson's years of medical training.

As she actually did have her facts straight, Carson tried to appease her. "Yes, you're absolutely right, luv."

"Hmm." Jeannie pressed her ear against the bathroom door. "Rodney, are you okay?"

"What do you think?" Rodney shouted from the other side.

Jeannie winced. "Are you sure he cut back to one coffee a day?"

Carson smiled weakly. "Why do you think he's so cranky?"

Jeannie rested her head against the door jamb. "Did that therapist say how long this would last? I mean, is Rodney going to have 'morning sickness' as long as a pregnant woman would?"

Carson nodded reluctantly. "Uh, yes."

Jeannie sighed wearily. "And that's, like, what? Another three or four weeks?"

"In some cases, it can last throughout the entire pregnancy," Carson said. Then he wanted to smack himself when he saw the look on Jeannie's face.

"You haven't told Rodney that, have you?" she hissed.

Carson almost shuddered. "Good God, no. It would be more than my life is worth." And it would be. Rodney had given him enough grief about the restrictions placed on his caffeine consumption. He'd probably fly into a homicidal rage if Carson even hinted at the possibility of his morning sickness lasting for the whole pregnancy.

"I think Rodney's gained a couple of pounds," Jeannie said. "Have you noticed?" She crossed her arms and studied Carson shrewdly. "What did the therapist have to say about that?"

"Uh..." Of course, Rodney hadn't gone to a therapist at all. During Rodney's so-called "appointment," they had, in fact, taken a trip downtown. As Rodney had spent money at Silver Snail and 3rd Quadrant Comics, Carson had been forced to tell Jeannie that they'd visited these places after the "appointment" to cheer up Rodney. Carson had asked Jeannie not to mention the therapy to Rodney, as Rodney was a bit sensitive about the subject. To Carson's shame, Jeannie had accepted his story, and Carson had realized what an accomplished liar he'd become.

"Maybe Rodney should get some exercise," Jeannie said. "I mean, he's basically been lounging around the house for the past two weeks."

Carson blinked in surprise. "Oh, well..."

Jeannie glanced at the bathroom door. "I know he's...not well, but it couldn't hurt, could it?"

Carson suddenly felt guilty for not giving more thought to Rodney's regimen. Exercise was important during pregnancy. "You're absolutely right. Rodney should be getting some exercise."

"There's a treadmill down here." Jeannie jerked her chin at the exercise equipment that was standing against the far wall. "It hasn't been used for a while, but it should be okay." She cast one last look at the bathroom door. "Try to keep him out of trouble."

"I'm not a miracle worker," Carson said, "but I'll do what I can."

Jeannie smiled and headed for the stairs. "Have a good day, Carson."

"You too, luv." Carson walked over to the treadmill and started pulling it out from the wall. Then he coughed as he stirred up a cloud of dust.

"You're not sick, are you?" Rodney had finally emerged from the bathroom, but he was keeping close to the threshold, as if fearing that Carson might be carrying an infectious disease.

"I'm not sick, Rodney. It's just dust." Carson studied his friend, noticing the greenish tinge to his skin. "How are you feeling?"

Rodney grimaced. "Like the baby is trying to claw its way out of the womb."

"It's too early for you to be feeling any movement from the baby," Carson said. "However, if it makes you feel any better, we'll take a quick look."

Rodney frowned in confusion. "Weren't you going to examine me anyway?"

"Yes, I was." Carson gestured towards the bed, and Rodney, taking the hint, sat down on the mattress.

"So, you're really just humouring me," Rodney said.

"Pretty much, yes." Carson knelt on the floor and pulled the portable ultrasound out from under the bed.

Rodney settled against the pillows as Carson flicked on the device. "Do you actually need me to do anything, or can I just lie back and think of being nauseous?"

"I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you should feel better after the first trimester." Carson positioned the ultrasound over Rodney's belly and tried to get a clear scan of the fetus. He glanced at his patient and smiled when he saw that Rodney was already scrutinizing the image being formed.

"The head is still huge," Rodney said.

"It's supposed to be. The rest of the body will catch up soon enough." Carson pressed a button and the picture grew sharper. Then he saved the scan and set the ultrasound down on the mattress, so Rodney could get a better look. "That big head has ears and an upper lip now."

Rodney stared at the ultrasound, transfixed. "Are-are those organs?"

"Aye, all of the baby's vital organs will have developed by now." Carson pointed to the frail skeletal limbs. "Do you see the wee fingers and toes?"

Rodney nodded, his eyes not leaving the ultrasound. "Yes. They're...wow."

Carson chuckled quietly. No matter how much Rodney moaned and griped about his symptoms, Carson knew he couldn't help being excited and fascinated by the baby. "So are you satisfied that it's not trying to claw its way out of the womb?" Carson asked.

"What? Oh, yes. For now, yes." Rodney dragged his eyes away from the ultrasound and looked at Carson. "Do you know what the sex is yet?"

Carson shook his head in amusement. "It's too early, Rodney. You know that."

"Yeah," Rodney said, "but your ancient toy produces superior scans. I thought you'd have a better idea of what's going on...down there."

The external genitalia had started to develop, and, with the scans the portable ultrasound had rendered, there were some clear indications of what the baby's sex might be, but Carson still couldn't be absolutely sure at this stage. He could end up misleading Rodney, and possibly disappointing him, if his prediction was wrong.

"Not even a hint?" Rodney asked, still hopeful and annoyingly persistent. Carson simply gave him a look. "What? I just want to be prepared. Should I be buying a tiny Leafs jersey, or...or...Oh, God! Carson, what do little girl babies like?"

"Rodney, why don't you wait until you know the baby's sex before you start worrying about what you'll need to buy?" Carson was hoping to keep Rodney calm, but Rodney wasn't about to cooperate. In fact, he looked like he was about to hyperventilate.

"Okay, okay, what did Jeannie have when she was a baby?" Rodney's gaze returned to the ultrasound, as if it might somehow supply the answer, then snapped his fingers. "A bunny! Jeannie had a little pink bunny!"

Carson nodded enthusiastically. "A pink bunny sounds perfect."

But Rodney was now shaking his head, looking crestfallen. "No, it isn't."

Carson was perplexed. "It isn't?"

"No," Rodney said. "My parents got her that."

Carson waited for an explanation. When one wasn't forthcoming, he asked, "And this is bad because...?"

Rodney sighed impatiently. "My parents sucked, Carson. Why do you think Jeannie's so screwed up?" Rodney's eyes widened and he began to flap his hands frantically. "I have crappy role models! What am I going to do? I-I don't know what to do! I don't know how to be a parent!"

_Jeannie's not the only one who's screwed up,_ Carson thought. "Rodney, the baby won't be here for months. You'll have plenty of time to prepare." He laid a hand on Rodney's shoulder. "You won't be alone. I'll be there to help you." When Rodney still looked doubtful, Carson said, "There are also books you can read on the subject."

Rodney's curiosity was piqued. "Books? What kind of books?"

"Parenting books," Carson said.

"Really?" Rodney sounded surprised. "And these parenting books, they're available to the general public?"

Carson had to cough to hide his laughter. "Aye, you can find them in places called 'bookstores'."

"Bookstores," Rodney muttered absently. Then he broke out of his trance. "We're going to World's Biggest. We still have tokens left. We can go down on the TTC." He hopped off the bed and started rooting around for some clothes.

"Before we pop off to buy parenting books, there's something I'd like to discuss with you," Carson said.

Rodney spun around, a sweatshirt clutched in his hand. "But inappropriate role models. No parenting skills. Can't it wait?"

"This concerns the welfare of the baby too, Rodney." Carson nodded at the treadmill. "You need to start exercising."

"Exercising!" Rodney dropped the sweatshirt and flopped back on the bed.

Carson crossed his arms over his chest. "Yes, exercising."

Rodney flung a hand over his face and groaned. "But I thought the point of being pregnant was to gain weight, not lose it."

"It's about being healthy, which means getting some form of exercise." Carson began moving the treadmill again, but stopped when he heard something thump on the ground.

"What was that?" Rodney asked, sitting up on the bed.

"I don't know." Carson walked around the treadmill and stared at the black case lying on the floor. He hadn't noticed it before and realized that it must have been propped up against the wall, behind the treadmill. He lifted it off the floor and showed it to Rodney.

"Oh, that must be Jeannie's portfolio," Rodney said.

Carson raised both eyebrows. "Jeannie's portfolio?"

"Bring it here," Rodney said, motioning Carson over to the bed.

Carson handed the portfolio to Rodney. "Do you think we should be doing this?"

"Probably not." Rodney unzipped the black case, and a series of paintings began to stretch across the mattress. There were several still lifes, some portraits and landscapes, and even some experiments in modern art.

"Jeannie painted all of these?" Carson asked in wonder.

"Yep." There was a hint of pride in Rodney's voice, and he smiled as he studied his sister's work. "She went to OCA -- the Ontario College of Art."

Carson picked up one of the landscapes and examined it more closely. "So Jeannie has a degree in Fine Art?"

"Uh, not exactly," Rodney said. "She dropped out."

Carson placed the painting back on the bed. "Oh, that's a shame. Do you know why?"

Rodney frowned thoughtfully and shrugged. "Maybe she started doubting herself. She's always had self esteem issues."

Carson pointed at the paintings. "But these are really good. She was obviously very talented."

"Ah, but I'm not sure Jeannie ever believed that." Rodney started gathering up the paintings, but a hand fell on his wrist.

"No, wait," Carson said.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Rodney waited until Sheppard was off duty. Then he waited some more, waited until Sheppard had reached his usual destination, the place he went to every day. For the past week, Sheppard had been standing in the same spot, on the same balcony, watching the sun set. It was as if he were trying to burn the image into his mind, as if he were afraid he'd never see it again. It was really starting to freak Rodney out.

"Is there some reason why you're staring at the back of my head?" Sheppard asked.

"Oh, uh, hi," Rodney said. He chose a place at the railing beside Sheppard and gazed out at the ocean.

Sheppard studied him curiously. "You're not looking for Sam again, are you?"

"Sam?" Rodney glanced over his shoulder, and Sheppard rolled his eyes.

"Your whale, Rodney," Sheppard said through gritted teeth.

"What? Oh, right." Rodney's eyes returned to the water. "Hey, we haven't seen him for a while. Do you think he's okay?"

"I'm sure he's just fine." Sheppard leaned forward, resting his elbows on the railing.

"Hmm. You're probably right." Rodney mimicked Sheppard's pose, allowing some of the tension to seep away from his tense neck and shoulders. He closed his eyes and breathed in the crisp sea air, feeling the wind sweep his hair. Even the fading sunlight was pleasant, despite the harmful UV rays.

"Not that I don't appreciate the company," Sheppard said, "but is there some reason why you're here?"

"No, no." Rodney opened his eyes and saw the skeptical look on Sheppard's face. "Well, actually, yes. Yes, there is."

Sheppard waited a few moments before impatiently twirling his hand. "And that would be?" he asked.

Rodney straightened from the railing and lifted his chin. "I found something interesting in the database we should check out."

Sheppard raised an eyebrow. "Interesting as in new Ancient toy interesting, or interesting as in a hidden cache of fully-charged ZPMs?"

"Uh, somewhere in between," Rodney said. "I've found several references to a laboratory on a planet called Creseda."

Sheppard made a face. "A laboratory? That's your 'interesting'?"

Rodney scowled and crossed his arms. "Laboratories are _always_ interesting. However, this particular laboratory is interesting because the scientists were apparently conducting research into an alternate power source. If the notes I found were at all accurate, this power source could produce an even greater energy yield than a ZPM."

"Cool," Sheppard said. "How?"

Rodney deflated slightly. "Ah. I'm not exactly sure."

Sheppard's forehead creased. "You're not sure? How can you not be sure? I thought there were several references in the database." His eyes narrowed. "What's your current definition of 'several'? Two or three?"

Rodney deflated even more. "Four or five," he admitted.

Sheppard snorted and shook his head. "A few references in the database isn't a lot to go on, Rodney. As a scientist, I would have thought you'd need more substantial proof."

Rodney wouldn't meet Sheppard's eyes. "There were notes."

"Yeah, incomplete notes by the sounds of it," Sheppard said.

Rodney shifted uncomfortably. "There might be more complete notes in the lab on Creseda."

"If the lab even exists," Sheppard mumbled.

Rodney's head shot up. "Maybe you've forgotten, Colonel, but we came to the Pegasus Galaxy to-to learn stuff."

Sheppard's eyebrows almost disappeared under his hairline. "Learn stuff?"

Rodney's eyes gleamed almost maniacally. "Yes, learn stuff!" he cried. "Learning stuff --learning stuff is our business. It's a part of our mission -- our mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and civilizations, to boldly go--"

Sheppard clamped a hand over Rodney's mouth. "Whoa! Hold it right there, mister!" He stared into the pair of blue eyes glaring back at him and sighed. "And you accuse _me_ of being Kirk. You're the Kirk around here, not me."

"Ahm nah Kur," Rodney said.

Sheppard removed his hand. "You were channeling William Shatner just now. You're totally Kirk."

Rodney's chin jutted out aggressively. "I'm totally not! I'm Spock, not Kirk!"

Sheppard grinned. "I don't know, Rodney. I don't remember Spock ever spouting monologues like that one."

"Ah," Rodney said, "but Spock's a Vulcan, so he's curious. He would want to explore this laboratory."

"Oh, he would, would he?" Sheppard placed his hands on his hips. "Don't you think Spock would find it illogical to explore a strange new lab without all the facts?"

Rodney blushed but continued to stand his ground. "Yes, but Spock knows that Kirk is leaving Enterprise in a week, so if they're going on this mission they need to put together an away team, like, yesterday!"

Sheppard's eyes widened and Rodney wished he could learn to keep his mouth shut for once. It was now patently obvious that the lab on Creseda was just a flimsy excuse for him to spend some time with his team before Sheppard left Atlantis. Rodney steeled himself for a barrage of sarcastic comments and insults, but Sheppard didn't say anything. Then Rodney looked at Sheppard, really looked at him, and was startled to see that Sheppard wanted this mission just as badly as he did.

Sheppard directed his gaze back to the ocean. "I'll talk to Elizabeth, see if I can sell her on the idea."

"That would be great," Rodney said.

Sheppard's nod was barely perceptible. "Yeah, yeah."

"No, really. I mean it. I appreciate it." Rodney patted Sheppard's back awkwardly then decided to make a hasty exit. He had almost reached the door, when Sheppard called out to him.

"This had better not be another Doranda."

Rodney froze and turned around slowly. Sheppard regarded him sternly for an instant, and Rodney swallowed nervously. Then Sheppard smiled and waggled his eyebrows, and Rodney knew he was only joking.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Carson had chosen a watercolour from Jeannie's portfolio -- Toronto Harbour, according to Rodney -- and had measured it for a frame. Rodney had tried to warn him, but Carson had ignored his advice. Rodney had continued to voice his doubts as Carson hammered the nail in the wall. He had then shot concerned glances at the painting once it was hanging over the couch. However, Carson had dismissed Rodney's anxiety as paranoia. What Carson should have remembered was that, despite Rodney's deplorable people skills, he was pretty adept at reading his sister, the sister who was currently staring at the wall in horror.

"What the hell...?" Jeannie gasped. "How...? Why...?" Her cheeks flushed, and her fingers curled into fists.

Carson tried to catch Rodney's eye, hoping for some assistance, but Rodney had wisely buried his head even further inside his parenting book.

"You had no right to go into my portfolio! You-you...How could you?" Jeannie's chest was heaving, her breathing harsh.

Rodney lowered his book. "Jeannie, calm down."

Jeannie ignored her brother. "Well?" she demanded.

Carson couldn't help flinching at her tone. "I'm sorry," he said. "I-I thought you'd like it. After everything you've done for us, I just wanted to do something nice in return."

"Like invading my privacy?" Jeannie crossed her arms tightly over her chest. "What have I done besides letting you both stay here?" she asked. "You've been doing everything else around here: cooking, cleaning, daycare. If anything, _I_ should be thanking _you_. I'm amazed I was possibly able to cope before you got here."

Rodney set his book aside. "Lay off him, Jeannie. He's just been trying to help." When Jeannie glared at him, Rodney said, "Okay, the painting was a mistake, but you're seriously over-reacting."

Jeannie's expression grew even darker. "How would you like it if Carson recorded you on the piano and then played it back to a bunch of people?"

Rodney tensed. "I don't play anymore."

"And I don't paint!" Jeannie shouted. "I haven't painted for years!"

Rodney rose from the armchair. "Yeah, well, maybe you should! You'd be a hell of a lot happier! Certainly happier than being a waitress!"

"'Happy' doesn't pay the bills, Rodney," Jeannie growled.

"Then let me pay them," Rodney said. "I could loan you some money. You could--"

"No!"

Rodney threw up his hands in frustration. "Why do you have to be so stubborn about this? I'm your brother. I'm supposed to help you, look after you."

Jeannie laughed sharply. "Oh, that's rich coming from you! You're barely able to look after yourself!"

Rodney frowned in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well," Jeannie said, "you're not exactly firing on all thrusters, are you?"

"What?" Rodney exclaimed. Then he whirled around when he heard a polite cough. A dark-haired man, with an earring, black leather jacket and jeans, stood inside the front hall. Andrew and a blond girl, with pigtails and a Toronto Raptors t-shirt under her jacket, had also stepped through the front door. Then the kids were just a blur as they tore through the living room and out the side door, into the backyard.

"We obviously should have knocked." The man smiled sheepishly and dug his hands into his pockets.

Jeannie stared at him blankly for a moment. "Uh, Jamie. Hi."

"Hi." Jamie toed off his sneakers and headed towards the group, halting mid-stride when he saw what was hanging over the couch. "Hey, cool painting."

"Oh, for God's sake!" Jeannie stormed out of the living room, and, about ten seconds later, the three men heard a bedroom door slam.

"Well, that was interesting," Jamie said. Then he lowered his voice to a whisper. "It must be her time of the month." He patted his pockets and sighed. "I left my BlackBerry at home, so I can't check."

Rodney gaped at him. "You keep track of Jeannie's cycle in your BlackBerry?"

Jamie nodded. "Yeah, I keep track of all the women I know."

Rodney stared at Jamie as if he were deranged. "Uh, why?" he asked.

"I had four older sisters growing up," Jamie said. "It was a matter of survival." He looked in the direction of Jeannie's room and smiled fondly. "I use 'JE' for 'Jeannie' because 'J' is already taken by my co-worker, Jill." He shuddered dramatically. "Jill's a bitch even when she doesn't have PMS."

Rodney lost his patience altogether. "Who the hell are you and what planet are you from?"

Jamie beamed, his whole face lighting up. "You _must_ be Uncle Rodney. Ah, it's great to meet you, honey."

Rodney squawked and flailed his arms as he was engulfed by Jamie. "Carson, he's hugging me! Carson, he called me 'honey'! Carson, he keeps track of my sister's cycle in his BlackBerry!"

Carson couldn't help laughing at Rodney's predicament, but then he was backing away as Jamie advanced towards him. "I'm Carson Beckett," he said, extending his hand quickly to forestall any attempts at hugging.

Jamie grasped Carson's hand and flashed another smile. "Oh, my God! That accent is so sublime, I could bathe in it!" He smacked Carson lightly on the arm. "Andrew never told me you were Scottish! I would have come over here sooner if I'd known, despite having to nurse my daughter and husband back to health." Then Jamie thought about what he'd said and shook his head. "No, on second thoughts, I still would have stayed away. It would have been tragic if you'd become infected with the flu and developed laryngitis."

Carson blushed profusely. "Uh, it's very kind of you to be so concerned about my health."

Rodney, who was still stuck a couple of sentences back in the conversation, was staring at Jamie in disbelief. "Daughter?" he asked. "_Husband?_"

If anything, Jamie looked even more shocked. A hand flew to his mouth, and Carson noticed the gold band on Jamie's finger for the first time. "Oh, come on!" Jamie said. "You must have heard about it! We were the juiciest scandal in the neighbourhood when we first moved here. There was a petition to get rid of us, and we even had Children's Aid show up at our door..." He trailed off when he saw the dumbstruck expressions on Rodney's and Carson's faces. "Oh, wow. You really didn't know?" Jamie laughed softly. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Poor Claude will be so disappointed. Maybe if we adopted another kid. Our tomboy could probably use a little brother or sister."

Rodney snapped his fingers. "Oh, _that's_ who you are. You're Britney's dad."

"Well, one of them. Actually, I'm her 'daddy' and Claude is her 'dad'." Jamie suddenly grew sober. "This isn't going to be a problem, is it?"

Carson shook his head emphatically. "No, no, of course not."

Rodney met Jamie's eyes with a calm, level gaze. "I'd be a pretty big hypocrite if it were a problem."

Jamie grinned. "Ah, I wasn't sure. Don't take this the wrong way, but you kind of dress like a straight man."

Rodney's lips twitched. "I've heard worse, believe me."

"He's said worse too," Carson said, earning a glare from Rodney and another grin from Jamie. "Will you stay for supper?" he asked their guest. "I've made shepherd's pie."

"Oh, sweetie, I'd love to, but I should really get back to Claude." Jamie shoved his hands back in his pockets again and rocked on his heels. "When I said I'd nursed my daughter and husband back to health, I told an itty bitty lie. Claude's still sick. Oh, he's past the infectious stage," Jamie hastened to add. "I wouldn't have allowed Andrew to come over if I thought Claude was still infectious. He's just lingering, the big baby."

"I'm a doctor," Carson said. "I'd be happy to come over and take a look at him."

Jamie's mouth fell open. "You're Scottish _and_ a doctor! Oh, it's such a shame that you're straight! Still..." His eyes wandered back to the hall leading to Jeannie's bedroom.

Carson immediately retreated to the kitchen. "You can take some shepherd's pie home with you," he called through the hatch. "I made more than enough." When he returned to the living room, Jamie had a completely innocent expression on his face, but Rodney looked like he was trying not to snigger.

"Thanks, doc," Jamie said, accepting the container Carson handed to him. "I'll let you know if we need a house call, though I think you'll have your hands full playing doctors and nurses over here."

"Oh, be off with you," Carson grumbled, waving him away.

Jamie laughed. "Send Britney home when you get tired of her."

"We might have to keep her here to eat Jeannie's portion of the shepherd's pie," Carson said.

Jamie patted Carson's shoulder. "Oh, she'll show up for dinner. She'll be embarrassed and stammer out an awkward apology, but she'll be there."

Jamie's prediction came true. Jeannie did emerge from her room in time for dinner. She muttered an apology and refused to look anyone directly in the eye, even Andrew. Later, when Carson had settled down for the night, Jeannie came and sat on the edge of the couch. As she didn't flick on the end table lamp, her face remained concealed, and Carson couldn't read her expression.

"It isn't about the painting," Jeannie said. Then she paused, and Carson thought he saw her pass a hand across her face. "Okay, it _is_ about the painting, but..." She sighed heavily. "You're doing too much. You're-you're helping too much."

Carson pushed himself into a sitting position, his back resting against the arm of the couch. "I'm not helping too much. I'm here all day with nothing to do except look after your brother. I can at least help out with some of the chores."

Jeannie groaned. "Carson, you disinfect my toilets and fold my underwear. You would have cleaned Andrew's hockey equipment if I hadn't warned you in time."

"I was just trying to help," Carson said meekly.

"I know and it's wrong." Jeannie sighed again. "Don't you get it? It's only been two weeks and we're already becoming dependent on you."

Carson reached across the blankets and squeezed Jeannie's hand. "It's okay. I don't mind. Really."

"Well, _I_ mind," Jeannie said. "You're not going to be around forever. I think Andrew's already becoming too attached to you, which is bad enough, but if I start relying on you then we're really screwed. When you're gone, I'll have to learn how to cope on my own again and I don't know if I can do that."

Carson really wished he could see Jeannie's face. "You're not on your own," he said. "You've got--"

"Family? Friends?" Jeannie asked. "I'm a single mother, Carson. I'm always on my own." She patted Carson's leg through the blankets. "Just back off, okay? And stop being so...so nice."

Not knowing what to say, Carson simply nodded. Jeannie's teeth flashed in what might have been a smile, and then she rose from the couch and headed back to her room.

Carson lay awake for a long time after Jeannie left, staring into the darkness. He kept thinking about what she'd said. He didn't want Jeannie to be angry or upset, and, yet, he didn't know how he would possibly be able to obey her request.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  



	2. Chapter 2

Although the Cresedans had chosen the largest section of the complex, the room Rodney was standing in had obviously never been meant to house a lab of this size and scope. The room actually reminded Rodney a bit of the control room on Atlantis, with its elegant design, ornate glass and metal panels, and upper level with bridges and balconies. However, unlike the control room on Atlantis, most of the floor space on the lower level was covered by workstations and hi-tech equipment. In fact, it was so crowded below, that several computer consoles had been added to the upper level. Having failed to activate the workstations on the lower level, Rodney had moved to the cramped area above to access the lab's database.

As Rodney pored over the files on the database, he couldn't help thinking that the notes seemed familiar. Then he read about the Cresedan experiments involving the extraction of vacuum energy from their own space-time and felt his blood run cold. He performed a quick search and his fears were confirmed when the words "Project Arcturus" popped up on the screen.

Rodney pounded his fist on the console in frustration. "Oh, you have got to be kidding!"

"What? What?" Sheppard was at Rodney's elbow immediately. Rodney had been so absorbed in the database, that he'd almost forgotten Sheppard was still in the lab.

"Uh, nothing. It's nothing." Rodney moved in front of the computer screen, blocking Sheppard's view of the database.

Sheppard craned his neck, trying to see past him. "Seriously, Rodney, what is it?"

Rodney scrambled for an excuse. "Uh...I...I found a serious error in one of the calculations."

"Oh." Sheppard slumped and his eyes glazed over. "I'm going to check on Ronon, make sure he's still patrolling the perimeter. I'm always afraid to leave him on his own for too long." Sheppard pivoted on his heel and headed for the stairs.

Rodney stepped away from the computer. "Oh, but, Colonel..."

"Yes?" Sheppard turned, raising an eyebrow expectantly.

Rodney had been about to tell Sheppard that the lab was a bust, when he realized that such an admission could lead to awkward questions, and even more awkward lying, or attempts at lying, on his part. Sheppard would discover that this was, in fact, another Doranda, and Rodney definitely didn't want that.

"Uh, nothing," Rodney said. "It's not important."

Sheppard walked back towards him. "Are you sure?"

Rodney nodded quickly. "Yes, yes. Go check on Chewie."

Sheppard studied Rodney in confusion for a moment then shook his head. "Well, okay," he said. "Stay in radio contact. I won't be gone long."

Rodney waved him away absently, his attention already back on the computer. "Fine, fine. Take your time."

Rodney waited until he heard Sheppard's footfalls on the stairs, and was sure Sheppard had left the lab, before he dared to pull his eyes away from the computer. He wondered how he was going to manage to look busy for the next hour or two. He would need to spend at least that much time on the database to avoid arousing suspicion. If he announced that there was nothing useful in the database too quickly, Sheppard would know that something was up. Rodney focused on the computer again. Maybe if he were lucky, he'd stumble across a valuable, and completely viable, experiment. Then he snorted and shook his head. "Yeah, right, like that's going to happen."

The whole mission had been a disaster from the start. Although Rodney didn't usually give any credence to suspicion, he couldn't help thinking that he should have recognized Teyla's sprained ankle for what it was: a bad omen. She rarely sustained injuries when sparring, so it seemed like a bad sign that she would hurt herself on the very morning of their trip off-world. Rodney sighed. He missed Teyla's calm stoic presence. Then, as he felt a shiver go down his spine, he knew there was something else he missed about Teyla: her ability to sense the Wraith.

Rodney's head shot up and he found a pair of cold soulless eyes locked on him. His breath caught in his throat and, for several long seconds, he was paralyzed by fear. With supreme effort, he remembered his weapons training and reached for the gun in his holster. Despite the faint tremor in his hands, Rodney managed to flick off the safety and aim the gun.

The Wraith tilted his head, studying Rodney curiously. The curiosity shifted to fury as a bullet ripped through his shoulder. He snarled, baring his teeth, and two bullets blasted into his chest. Ignoring the pain, the Wraith began to close the distance between himself and his prey. Rodney swore under his breath and fired a round into the Wraith's other shoulder. But the Wraith kept coming.

Rodney tried to force back the rising tide of panic. He would soon run out of bullets, not that bullets seemed to be having much of an effect. Rodney looked around frantically, but the Wraith was blocking the path to the stairs, the only visible escape route.

Rodney was only able to get off one more shot before the Wraith seized his gun and threw it on the ground. With nowhere else to go, Rodney was forced back against a balcony railing. Then the Wraith raised his arm, hand extended towards Rodney's chest. In that split second, Rodney reached a decision. He might not be able to defeat the Wraith, but that didn't mean the Wraith had to win either. If Rodney had to go, he was going to make damn sure the Wraith wouldn't benefit from his death.

Rodney lifted his chin and glared at the Wraith defiantly. The Wraith laughed, clearly not impressed. That was why it came as a huge shock that when his hand shot out, it only encountered air.

As Rodney flipped over the railing, he couldn't help thinking that this time falling was going to be a lot harder without a personal shield.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
For once, Carson wasn't woken up by the TV, or dishes clanking in the kitchen, but something he wasn't used to hearing so early in the morning: Rodney.

"What are you doing up so early?" Rodney whispered to Andrew.

"I'm always up this early," Andrew said, making no effort to speak quietly. Carson lay still and pretended to be asleep anyway. He didn't want to disturb their conversation. Besides, it was easier to eavesdrop when no one thought you were listening.

"So you always get up this early, even when you don't have hockey practice?" Rodney asked.

This time, Andrew did lower his voice. "Yeah, my shows are on," he said.

"Oh." Somehow Rodney didn't sound surprised. "Hey, I don't suppose anyone is showing re-runs of The Hilarious House of Frightenstein."

"The _what_?"

"Never mind."

Maybe Andrew sensed something was wrong, or he simply knew that Rodney rarely woke this early, but he asked, "Are you okay, Uncle Rodney?"

"Yes, yes, of course I'm okay. I...I just couldn't sleep." There was a slight quaver in Rodney's voice, and Carson cracked his eyes open in concern. Rodney's arms were wrapped around his torso, and he was staring down at his bare feet.

"You could watch cartoons with me if you want," Andrew said.

Carson expected Rodney to scoff at the idea, so he was amazed when Rodney nodded and shuffled across the living room to plop down on the carpet beside his nephew. Carson kept his eyes open, studying Rodney.

Andrew was also looking at Rodney, paying more attention to him than the TV. "Did you have a nightmare?" he asked.

Even with the lack of light, Carson saw Rodney shudder.

Andrew patted Rodney's shoulder. "Wait here." He sprang to his feet and ran into the kitchen. Rodney's eyes followed him for a few seconds then fastened back on the TV.

As Rodney seemed pretty upset, Carson debated whether he should "wake up" and try to comfort him. While Carson suspected that Rodney had had more than his fair share of nightmares since first setting foot in the Pegasus Galaxy, he had a feeling that this particular nightmare was probably related to the pregnancy. Vivid dreams and nightmares were a common symptom of pregnancy due to hormones and changes in the body, though some experts theorized that it wasn't so much that expectant mothers dreamt more, but that they remembered their dreams because of interrupted sleep patterns. As Rodney's sleep patterns were more interrupted than anyone Carson had ever met, Carson knew that Rodney would be remembering a lot of his dreams, and if Rodney's nightmares were bad in his first trimester, Carson hated to think what they would be like by the third trimester.

Carson was still deciding whether he should talk to Rodney, when Andrew returned from the kitchen. He sat back down and held out a glass to his uncle. Rodney stared at it for an instant before taking it from Andrew's hand. "Milk," Rodney said. "It does the body good."

Andrew snorted and shook his head. "It's supposed to help you sleep, silly. It's what Mom gives me when I have nightmares."

"It is?" Rodney seemed amazed. "But that's what I used to give her when she had nightmares." He lifted the glass in contemplation. "Huh. Maybe I won't make such a bad parent after all." He took a long sip of milk, giving a little sigh of satisfaction. "Do you have any cereal to go with this?"

As Carson watched Andrew dart back into the kitchen, he wondered if Rodney's nightmare was related to his parenting fears. Many pregnant women had dreams in which they accidentally dropped their babies or hurt them in some other fashion. Carson's suspicions grew when Rodney insisted on an examination after Jeannie left for work. Of course, Rodney constantly insisted on being examined, but, that morning, with the nightmare fresh in his mind, Rodney seemed more anxious than usual.

Carson had tried to limit the examinations to twice a week. He knew that if Rodney had his way, they would be at least twice a day. Carson understood and appreciated Rodney's concern for the baby, but he refused to give in to Rodney's demands. While it was crucial to monitor Rodney's condition closely, especially considering the unique circumstances, Carson didn't want to send Rodney the wrong message by becoming too obsessive about check-ups. Rodney was already feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious as a pregnant man, so Carson was trying not to make Rodney feel even worse by treating him like a lab rat or medical experiment. Still, it had been four days since Carson had last examined Rodney, and, as Rodney was into his 11th week of pregnancy, Carson hoped he might have some exciting news to share.

As Carson positioned the portable ultrasound over Rodney's belly, he found himself holding his breath in anticipation. He exhaled into a grin when he managed to obtain a clear image of the baby and the answer to an important question. While it was sometimes difficult to tell with sonograms, the external evidence, or lack thereof, was irrefutable with the superior scans from the Ancient device. Carson glanced at Rodney, who had been unusually quiet, as if he knew what Carson had been looking for on the ultrasound. Then Carson remembered who he was dealing with and realized that Rodney probably knew exactly what was happening.

"Do you still want to know, Rodney?" Carson asked.

"Yes, yes, of course!" Rodney said. Then he immediately changed his mind, speaking before Carson could open his mouth. "No, wait! I don't know anymore. Maybe...maybe...Is the baby okay? I mean, is there anything wrong with it? Anything I should know?" Rodney gazed at Carson with wide, beseeching eyes. "Is-is it normal? Whole? Does it still just have the one head? Ten fingers and toes?"

Carson sighed wearily. "Rodney, you know I would tell you if there was anything wrong with the baby. She's perfectly healthy and normal."

Rodney's eyes grew even wider. "_She_?"

_Ooops_. Carson winced at his slip of the tongue. Oh, well, he thought. There's no going back now. "Yes, _she_," he said. "She's a beautiful baby girl."

"Really?" Rodney broke into a delighted grin. "Let me see!" He grabbed the portable ultrasound and stared at the scan in fascination. "So you figured out she's a girl because there's no--"

"Yes, Rodney," Carson said.

Rodney snorted. "Well, I could have told you that." He thrust the ultrasound back at Carson. "Take another scan."

Carson almost dropped the ultrasound. "You want me to take another scan of _that_?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "No, not of _that_. Well, not _just_ that. The whole baby, you know? In fact, don't just take a scan. I want to see her moving." Rodney peeled back his shirt, exposing his belly. "Here. This might help you get a better look."

"That's really not necessary," Carson said, though he didn't pull Rodney's shirt down as he positioned the ultrasound over Rodney again.

Both men became so focused on the ultrasound, that they didn't notice the creaking of the stairs until it was too late. When they looked up, Jeannie was gaping at them in horror. Rodney immediately yanked down his shirt, and Carson backed away from the bed.

Jeannie had averted her eyes and was wringing her hands. "There was a fire in the kitchen, so they had to close the coffee shop. They, uh, sent everyone home."

Carson somehow managed to find his voice. "Was anyone hurt?"

"No, but the kitchen's a mess." Jeannie's eyes were fixed on the floor, and she seemed on the verge of bolting from the basement.

"Jeannie," Rodney said.

She raised her head reluctantly. Her eyes stayed on her brother for a few seconds, before straying to the instrument in Carson's hands. "What the _hell_?"

Rodney spread his hands in a placating gesture. "I know this is a lot to take in, as you've never seen anything like this before," he said, "but we need you to keep quiet about it. It's highly classified, which is why we agreed to keep it a secret from you."

"What?" Judging by Jeannie's dazed expression, she hadn't taken in anything Rodney had said. She took a hesitant step towards the bed. "What...what is that thing?" she asked, jerking her chin at the portable ultrasound. "What are you doing?"

Rodney sighed impatiently. "The device Carson is holding is a piece of very advanced technology. It's called a...Well, this is his toy, so maybe I should let him explain it." Rodney looked at Carson, but Carson was staring at Jeannie and seemed incapable of speech. "Okaaay...We'll get back to Carson when he returns from whatever system he's orbiting." Rodney plucked the device from Carson's hands. "This is a portable ultrasound and...well...it's pretty much like your standard ultrasound except that it's portable." Rodney glanced at Carson again, but Carson stood frozen, as if he were about to witness a train crash he couldn't prevent.

"An ultrasound?" Jeannie asked. She looked even more stunned than before.

Rodney spoke slowly, enunciating each word carefully. "Yes, an ultrasound. You know. To examine the baby."

"Baby?" Jeannie whispered hoarsely.

"For God's sake, Jeannie, you act like this is suddenly big news," Rodney said. "You've known about it for weeks. What's the problem?" When Jeannie didn't answer, Rodney jumped to his own conclusion. "Oh, is this some kind of delayed reaction? Let me guess. It just didn't seem real until now, is that it?"

Jeannie stared at Rodney for an instant before fixing Carson with an icy glare. Carson uttered a strangled "Jeannie" as Jeannie turned on her heel and walked straight out of the basement.

Rodney frowned in confusion. "Jeannie?"

"Jeannie!" Carson flew up the stairs after her. He found her standing in the middle of the living room, her back to him.

"Jeannie, I can explain..." Carson said.

Jeannie spun around. "Yes, you do that! You can start by explaining what kind of sick game you're playing!" Carson opened his mouth to defend himself, but Jeannie cut him off before he had the chance. "It's one thing to play along with his fantasies. I can even understand why you allowed him to buy all those parenting books, but to whip out some piece of plastic and pretend to examine him. Well, that's just cruel, and...and it reinforces the insane idea that he's actually pregnant!"

"You don't believe I'm pregnant?" Rodney had emerged from the basement, looking more confused than ever.

Jeannie hesitated then said, "I'm sorry, Rodney, but, no, I don't."

Rodney couldn't quite hide the hurt expression on his face. "If you didn't believe me then why didn't you say something?"

Jeannie bit her lip. "Carson thought it would be best if I didn't say anything and...and just went along with it."

"What?" Rodney turned accusing eyes on Carson. "You knew about this?"

"I didn't know how to tell Jeannie the truth without breaking the confidentiality agreement and revealing everything," Carson said.

"So you let her think I was nuts instead?" Rodney demanded.

"Whoa! Back up! What do you mean 'the truth'?" Jeannie glanced from Rodney to Carson, back to Rodney again.

Rodney took Jeannie by the shoulders. "I'm pregnant, Jeannie."

Jeannie smiled at Rodney gently, as if humouring a child. "Yes, of course you are."

"I'm not crazy," Rodney said. "I'm really pregnant." He looked Jeannie straight in the eye, and Jeannie knew it was the truth.

"But...but..." Jeannie waved helplessly at Carson. "He said it was a hysterical pregnancy."

Carson raised a finger. "Uh...I never actually said that: you did. I just didn't contradict you."

"It still counts as lying," Jeannie snapped. "You lied to me. You stood outside your motel room and lied to me."

Carson squirmed uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, luv. I didn't know what else to do."

Jeannie crossed her arms. "It that because of this so-called confidentiality agreement of yours, or because you thought I'd be too stupid to understand?"

"Jeannie--"

"Did you have a good laugh at my expense?" Jeannie asked. "Was it fun stringing me along, seeing just how much I'd be gullible enough to swallow?"

Carson stared at Jeannie as if he'd been slapped. "It wasn't like that. I was only doing what I thought was best for both of you." He sighed and ran a hand across his face. "I was stuck between a rock and-and a McKay."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. Give me a break."

"You!" Carson cried, pointing a finger at Rodney. "You're the reason all this happened in the first place!"

Rodney's eyes narrowed. "Because I got knocked up?"

"No, because you told Jeannie you were pregnant!"

"But she's my sister! What else was I supposed to do?"

"You could have remembered the confidentiality agreement you signed!"

"Oh, yes, because it's not as if I'm hiding from the military, or have broken a dozen rules already!"

"Hold on," Jeannie said. "You're hiding from the military?"

Rodney feigned surprise. "What? You mean Carson didn't make up some story about that too?"

Jeannie jerked her head at Carson. "He said that the military didn't know about your 'illness,' but he didn't go into details. Once again, he let me draw my own conclusions."

"Huh," Rodney said. "Apparently he's good at that. He obviously should have become a con artist instead of a doctor. He's already manipulated the struggling single mother and poor expectant physicist." Rodney lifted his chin smugly. "What do you do for an encore, Carson? Steal candy from orphans? Drown kittens?"

Carson's face flushed. "Right! That's it! I've had it!" He stomped out of the living room and grabbed his jacket from the front hall.

Rodney trailed after him. "Where are you going?" he demanded.

"I'm leaving," Carson said. "I'm fed up with the pair of you. You're the most neurotic people I've ever met."

Rodney opened his mouth to argue, but it was Jeannie who confronted him on the issue. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she asked.

Carson swung around to face her. "Only that I'm sick of listening to you put yourself down all the time. You're intelligent, creative, funny and beautiful and, yet, you're constantly selling yourself short." He nodded at Rodney. "I thought your brother was insecure, but at least he hides it under all that arrogance and bluster."

"Hey!" Rodney said.

"Well, it's true!" Carson studied both siblings then shook his head. "You've both become so good at shutting people out, that I'm not sure you even know how to let anyone in anymore. You certainly don't trust other people, not even your friends."

Rodney crossed his arms. "I-I trust people. I trust you and Jeannie, my team, Elizabeth, Radek...I trust lots of people."

Carson raised an eyebrow. "Is that why you haven't told anyone about the baby?"

"That isn't true," Rodney said. "I told you, didn't I?"

Carson smiled sadly. "No, Rodney, _I_ told _you_. I was the one to diagnose your condition, remember?"

"Oh. Right." Rodney didn't seem quite as confident now.

Carson reached for the door. "I have to go."

"Where?" Rodney asked in a much quieter voice.

"I don't know," Carson said. "For the moment, anywhere that isn't here."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Pain. Worse than withdrawal from the Wraith enzyme or being shot in the ass by an arrow. It was worse than anything he could ever remember experiencing before. Pain. Excruciating pain.

It would seem that his brilliant plan to break his neck and die instantly had been a stunning failure.

Biting back a moan, Rodney raised his head a full two centimetres from the ground to take in his blurry surroundings. Then he instantly wished he hadn't when the Wraith came into his line of vision. His head fell back, and he felt a tear slide down his cheek. He closed his eyes helplessly and waited.

When Rodney heard the scream, it took him a few seconds to realize that it wasn't his own. He managed to lift his head in time to see the Wraith floating in mid-air, writhing, flailing against some invisible enemy. Then there was a blinding flash of light, and the Wraith disappeared.

Rodney was losing consciousness when the pain started to fade. He cracked his eyes open with supreme effort. A woman with long, dark hair was kneeling beside him. Her hands were resting on his chest. They were glowing softly, and Rodney could feel the energy emanating from every digit. Then he gasped when the hands began dissolving, passing through layers of cloth, skin and tissue. Rodney knew he should probably be having a complete meltdown, but it just required too much energy. Besides, she appeared to be healing him. Unlike a Wraith, she was restoring his life, not taking it away from him.

Rodney stared into a pair of hazel eyes and wondered why they seemed so familiar. He swallowed and tried to force words from his throat. "Who are you?" he croaked.

The woman smiled gently and laid a hand across Rodney's forehead. "Rest," she said.

As Rodney's eyelids were growing increasingly heavy, he obliged and allowed sleep to claim him.

When Rodney woke, he found himself cradled in a pair of arms, gazing into a different pair of hazel eyes. Only these eyes were sorrowful, brimming with unshed tears. Rodney reached up for one darkly-stubbled cheek, and the eyes blinked.

"Rodney?" Sheppard sounded as if he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.

Rodney licked his lips experimentally. "Yeah," he whispered. "I think so."

Sheppard bowed his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "I thought you were dead," he said. "You were so pale, and I couldn't find a pulse."

Rodney stared back at Sheppard in confusion. Why hadn't Sheppard been able to find a pulse? The woman had been healing him. He had felt it. Had his vitals become so weak that his pulse had been impossible to detect? Had he died on the operating table, so to speak? Rodney's eyes darted around the lab. Where was his mysterious saviour? He was sure she would have stuck around, to throw herself at Sheppard if nothing else. Most of the beautiful alien women they encountered seemed to, so why would this one be any different?

Rodney fought the irrational urge to giggle. He hoped this was due to shock not brain damage. He was about to ask Sheppard if he could recognize the symptoms for either condition, when he saw the grim expression on Sheppard's face and quickly sobered. Sheppard was looking around the lab himself, as if he were searching for something.

"What the hell happened?" Sheppard asked. "I heard shots being fired, and when I got here all the doors were locked tight."

"All the doors were locked?" That didn't make any sense. Rodney was sure he hadn't locked the doors and he didn't think the Wraith had either. That left only one other suspect. "Oh, she must have done it."

Sheppard's eyebrows rose. "_She_? _She_ who?"

Rodney smiled. "The woman who healed me."

"Uh, woman?" Sheppard took a quick inventory of the lab before Rodney's words truly registered. "Wait. _Healed_ you?"

"When I fell," Rodney said.

"Fell?" Sheppard asked. "From where?" Rodney looked up, and Sheppard followed his gaze to the upper level. "Rodney, if you'd fallen from there, you'd be dead."

"Yeah, that's what I thought, but not so much." Rodney scowled up at the balcony as if it had personally betrayed him. "I was supposed to break my neck instantly. Instead..." He winced. "Ow."

Sheppard was frowning at him. "What do you mean 'supposed to'? You make it sound like..." Sheppard's eyes widened. "Rodney..."

"The Wraith was going to kill me! He was going to suck the life out of me!" Rodney pointed wildly at the balcony. "Breaking my neck and dying instantly somehow seemed preferable." Sheppard's eyes grew even wider, and Rodney said, "Did I mention the Wraith?" Dazed, Sheppard shook his head. "Oh, there was a Wraith. He tried to kill me, even after I fell."

"And didn't die." Apparently, Sheppard was still struggling with the concept. "So what happened to the Wraith?" he asked. "Ronon discovered a dart while he was patrolling the perimeter, so he's gone to hunt the pilot down. That's why I came back here, to make sure you were all right." Sheppard sighed and shook his head in disgust. "I've obviously done a fantastic job so far."

Rodney patted Sheppard's chest affectionately. "Hey, it's okay. She took care of the Wraith for us. He's gone now."

"Gone?" Sheppard smiled nervously. "What did _she_ do? Make him disappear into thin air?"

"Pretty much, yes," Rodney said. "There was this bright flash of light and then the Wraith went boom."

Sheppard's brow furrowed. "'Boom'?"

"Well, not exactly 'boom,'" Rodney said. "I basically just added that for embellishment. Except for some initial screaming by the Wraith, it was a fairly silent process."

"Uh, okay." Maintaining eye contact with Rodney, Sheppard tapped his radio. "Ronon, I don't care if you're hunting a whole hive ship. Get your ass back here _now_."

This time, Rodney poked Sheppard in the chest. "What's wrong?"

Sheppard smiled a little too brightly. "Nothing. Everything's fine, buddy." He grasped Rodney by the chin and stared into his eyes.

"You're checking for signs of concussion, aren't you?" Rodney said.

"Uh, yeah." Sheppard released Rodney's chin, though his hand didn't stray far, settling on Rodney's cheek instead. "How are you feeling? Are you okay?"

Startled as he was by this rather intimate gesture on Sheppard's part, Rodney was struck speechless.

"Rodney?" Sheppard was stroking Rodney's cheek with his thumb, patiently waiting for an answer.

Rodney cleared his throat. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. I'm pretty sure she healed me of everything, including a possible concussion."

Sheppard's hand dropped from Rodney's cheek. "I'm surprised she didn't make you disappear," he grumbled.

"_Oh_. Is _that_ what this is about? You're afraid she'll come back to kill us?" Rodney grinned and slapped Sheppard's chest. "If she intended to kill us then why would she have gone to all that trouble to save me? She could have just struck me down to begin with, or left me to the Wraith."

Sheppard's expression grew darker. "If she's so wonderful then why didn't she prevent you from falling? Why didn't she stop the Wraith from attacking you in the first place?"

"I don't know," Rodney said. "Maybe she just didn't get here in time. Maybe she had something more important to do first."

"More important than saving you?" Sheppard asked sarcastically. "But how could _anything_ be more important than saving you, Rodney?"

Rodney grimaced. "As much as it pains me to admit it, there are some things in this universe that are more important than I am. Not many but a few."

Sheppard's face was the picture of innocence. "Really? But what about your invaluable contribution to science, your future legacy, the countless times you've saved all of us and even the universe itself?"

Rodney couldn't help looking smug. "Yes, well, as I said, there are just the _few_ things that are more important." He tilted his head, regarding Sheppard for an instant. "Seriously, though, what's your problem with her? Considering her powers, she's obviously ascended. She may be an Ancient herself, like Chaya." His smile faded as he thought of the Ancient Sheppard had practically been besotted with. "You remember Chaya, don't you? Well, my Ancient is just as beautiful. In fact, she reminded me of you."

When Rodney realized what he'd said, he blushed and tore his eyes away from Sheppard. "Uh...that is to say...Look, we both know that you have a thing for beautiful ascended women, and that beautiful ascended women have a thing for you. You and my Ancient could probably have something beautiful together." Realizing that he was still being cradled in Sheppard's arms, and wondering why neither of them had noticed, Rodney pulled away and sat up. "If I leave maybe she'll come back. Ronon and I can meet you back at the puddle-jumper after you're, uh, through." Rodney started to rise from the ground, but Sheppard stopped him.

"I don't care how beautiful your Ancient is, or what we might have together," Sheppard said. "Right now the only thing I care about is you."

Rodney's mouth fell open. "But I'm not...and she's..." Rodney drew invisible curves in the air.

"She's a mime?" Sheppard asked.

"Oh, for God's sake," Rodney muttered. "She's hot, Colonel! She's an alien babe! You always fall for the alien babe, especially if she's ascended! It's-it's what you do!" When Sheppard still didn't seem to understand, Rodney threw up his hands in frustration. "Don't you get it? You _can't_ care about me more than the alien babe. I'm not even part of the equation."

Sheppard smiled and shook his head. "No, you're the one who doesn't get it. You _are_ the equation. Despite what you might think, I _always_ care about you more than the alien babe."

"You-you do?" Rodney scrutinized Sheppard's face, searching for some sign of deception, but all he could see was sincerity in Sheppard's eyes. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. That's the nicest thing _anyone_ has ever said to me." Rodney grabbed Sheppard by the front of his uniform and kissed him.

Sheppard froze, not reciprocating at first. Then he wrapped his arms around Rodney and deepened the kiss. Rodney was just wondering if it would be too forward for him to shove his tongue in Sheppard's mouth, when he heard the sound of footsteps in the lab. Sheppard obviously heard it too because he immediately broke the kiss. They both turned to see Ronon standing in the nearest doorway, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"Am I interrupting something?" Ronon asked.

"Yes!" Rodney said.

"No, no, it's fine." Sheppard flicked his eyes at Rodney and actually blushed. "Uh, Rodney isn't feeling well."

"Really?" Ronon covered his mouth, trying to hide laughter. "It didn't seem that way to me."

Rodney was practically beaming. "Sheppard cares about me more than the alien babe."

Ronon dropped his hand, his face suddenly serious. "Sheppard always cares about you more than the alien babe."

"Huh," Rodney said. "Now why didn't I know that?" He glared at Sheppard. "Why didn't you say something sooner?"

There was a desperate edge to Sheppard's voice. "I think Rodney hit his head. He hasn't been acting like himself."

Ronon frowned. "Who is he acting like?"

"Hello," Rodney said. "'He' is sitting right here."

Sheppard pretended not to hear him. "We need to get Rodney back to Atlantis so Carson can take a look at him. I haven't found any signs of concussion, but he's been hallucinating."

"I have not!" Rodney protested. "She was here! I saw her!"

"Like Carter in the puddle-jumper?" Sheppard asked.

"No, that was different. I _was_ hallucinating that time." Rodney crossed his arms and scowled petulantly. "Look, believe me or don't believe me. I really don't care. _I_ know she was real." As Rodney started rising to his feet, both Sheppard and Ronon reached out for him, but he dodged their hands. "I'm not an invalid. I'm perfectly capable of walking back to the puddle-jumper on my own, thank you."

"Well, just take it slowly," Sheppard said. "If you start to feel dizzy or faint let us know."

Rodney resisted the temptation to roll his eyes. "Yes, okay. Fine."

As they made their way out of the lab, Rodney took one last look over his shoulder. He still couldn't see her, but he could hear her voice clearly in his head, as if she were standing right beside him.

_Thank you,_ she said.

Rodney was about to ask her why she was thanking him, when he felt someone tug on his arm insistently.

"Are you okay?" Sheppard sounded concerned, and Rodney realized how it must have looked as he stood rooted to the spot, staring into space.

"I'm fine." Rodney smiled in what he hoped was an encouraging manner.

Sheppard sighed deeply. "You saw her again, didn't you?"

"Uh, sort of," Rodney said.

The grip on his arm tightened, and Sheppard was dragging him out of the lab. "You know how I said you should take it slowly. Well, forget that. I think we should move as quickly as possible."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
"Do you think you can walk?"

Carson stared at the taxi driver blearily before nodding and lurching to his feet. Then he was lying on the boulevard, his face planted in the grass.

"Oopsy daisy," Carson said, giggling hysterically at his predicament. He was only vaguely aware of the taxi driver grabbing him under the arms and hauling him off the ground, but then they were walking up the driveway, and a strange house was looming before them. Carson shook his head and tried to break away from the taxi driver. "This isn't 32."

The taxi driver continued to lead Carson up the driveway. "You said 35."

Carson shook his head. "No, 32. I'm sure I said 32." They reached the front door, and the taxi driver knocked before Carson could argue further. The door swung open, and a tall man with thinning blond hair was gaping at them in surprise.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

Carson squinted at the man for a few seconds before placing the accent. "Ah, bonjour! Comment ça va?"

The man grimaced. "Obviously better than you."

"You think he's bad?" the taxi driver said. "You should see his friends."

Carson grinned. "Aye, great lads. They're from Newfoundland."

"Merde," the man muttered under his breath.

The taxi driver jerked his head at Carson. "Do you know if he lives at #32?"

Before the man could answer, his husband was beside him, curious to see their guests. "Who is it, Claude?" Jamie asked. Then he spotted his new friend. "Carson! What a surprise!" Jamie pulled Carson into the house and then engulfed him in a huge hug, which Carson returned enthusiastically.

Claude exchanged an amused glance with the taxi driver. "Apparently, we know him."

Jamie swatted Claude's arm lightly. "Oh, you know Carson! I told you all about him!"

"Oh, the Scottish guy staying with Jeannie?" Claude asked.

"Does this Jeannie live at #32. It's just that I've got another customer and..." The taxi driver looked at his watch pointedly.

"It's okay. We'll get him home." Claude pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. "Did our friend pay you yet?"

"Yeah, he tipped me and everything," the taxi driver said.

Claude pressed a couple of toonies into the man's palm. "Well, here is a little extra for your trouble."

The taxi driver smiled, touched by the gesture. "Thank you, sir. That's very kind of you." He waved at his former customer. "Night, Carson!"

Carson waved back at the taxi driver cheerfully. "Good night, wee taxi man!" Carson was oblivious to the taxi driver's look of disgust as the man finally made his escape. However, he couldn't miss Jamie, who was standing right in front of him.

"What happened, honey?" Jamie asked. "Has Jeannie driven you to drink?"

Carson nodded emphatically then wondered why the gesture was making the room sway. "We had a row," he said. "I think she hates me." His bottom lip trembled and he fought to hold back tears. He knew he'd be mortified if he was sober, but he was currently too drunk to care.

Jamie folded Carson in his arms again, drawing Carson's head down on his shoulder. "Oh, sweetie, she doesn't hate you. She treats everyone that way."

Carson sniffed loudly. "Then she must hate the whole world!"

"That sounds like Jeannie," Claude muttered.

Jamie gave Claude a dirty look over Carson's shoulder. "Hush, you." He rubbed Carson's back soothingly before disengaging himself from the Scotsman. "I'm sure it's all just a big misunderstanding. I'll take you home and we can clear this up once and for all." He took a step back, studying Carson again. "That shirt has to go, and we'll need to do something with your hair..."

"You're not taking him home," Claude said.

Jamie's eyebrows shot up. "Why, Claude! I know he's cute, but we can't keep him. There's no way we could possibly justify it after refusing to let Britney have a puppy."

Claude blushed. "That is not what I meant!"

"Then what did you mean?" Jamie grinned slyly, slipping an arm around Claude's waist. "Are you afraid Carson's going to put the moves on me because he's drunk, or is it my motives you're questioning?"

Claude covered his face with a hand. He might have stayed that way if Jamie hadn't poked him impatiently. "Accents," Claude said. "Accents turn you on."

Jamie smiled and kissed Claude on the lips. "The only accent that turns me on is yours, baby." He pinched Claude's ass and kissed him again, lingering longer this time.

"Oi!" Carson said. "Get a room!" He was slumped against a wall and about to slide to the floor.

Jamie reluctantly broke the kiss. "You really need to get him home, Claude. He's seriously clashing with our décor."

"Jeannie owes us big time," Claude said as he and Jamie maneuvered Carson away from the wall.

When they reached the door, Jamie draped the arm he was holding across Claude's shoulders. "Come on, Brigadoon," he said to Carson. "It's time to go home to bonnie Jean." He held the door open, struggling to stifle laughter as Claude and Carson staggered down the driveway. "Vive le Québec!" he called after Claude, who swore under his breath in his mother tongue.

"You know, the French and Scottish have shared close ties for centuries," Carson said.

Claude rolled his eyes. "Yes, that is what the last drunken Scotsman said to me when I took him home." Carson burst out laughing and almost tripped on the sidewalk. Claude sighed and tightened his hold on Carson. "I guess that is why I get along with Jeannie."

Carson stopped abruptly at the curb. "Jeannie?"

"Because she is Scottish," Claude said. "At least I thought she was Scottish. Is 'McKay' not a Scottish name?" He glanced quickly in both directions before guiding Carson across the street.

As Carson stumbled along beside Claude, he started to laugh again. "You're right. It _is_ Scottish. Rodney spends so much time teasing me about sheep, haggis and bagpipes that I forget sometimes."

Claude grunted as Carson veered a little too far to the right and stomped on his foot. "Rodney is the brother, no? The one who is cra-not well."

Carson drew to a halt, teetering on Jeannie's driveway. "I'm not sure anymore. We might have to change the story now that Jeannie knows."

"Knows what?" Claude asked, but all of Carson's concentration seemed to be focused on moving one leg in front of the other, so Claude dropped the subject.

When they reached the stoop, neither man had to knock. Jeannie was standing at the door, hands on hips and a scowl set on her face.

"Bloody hell." Carson tried to execute an about-turn, but Claude was dragging him determinedly to the door. On closer inspection, Jeannie's expression proved to be even more frightening, and Carson gulped audibly.

"Where the hell have you been?" Jeannie shouted. "Do you have any idea how worried we've been? Rodney's positively frantic! I've already had to wrestle the phone away from him twice because he keeps threatening to call the police!" Jeannie took in Carson's glassy eyes and saw that he was leaning heavily on Claude for support. "My God, are you _drunk_?"

Left with no other option, Carson was forced to fall back on his charm. "I love you," he slurred, throwing his arms around Jeannie.

"Oh, please, that doesn't even work for Andrew," Jeannie said, but she patted Carson's back all the same.

"Me, me! Me next!" Rodney wrenched Jeannie out of Carson's embrace, and Carson shrank back, thinking that Rodney wanted to hug him too. But Rodney had other ideas. "Where have you been? Do you have any idea how worried Jeannie's been? She's been totally freaking out! For all she knew, you were dead!" Rodney quickly turned his head, trying to wipe his eyes furtively.

"Rodney, are you crying?" Carson asked.

"It's hormones," Rodney hissed. "Shut up."

Claude coughed loudly. "This is very entertaining, but I have to go."

Jeannie tore her eyes away from her brother. "God, Claude, of course. I'm sorry." She shoved her hands deep in her pockets and smiled sheepishly. "Merci beaucoup."

"Yeah, yeah," Claude said, already heading down the driveway. Jeannie exchanged a look with Rodney, and they each grasped one of Carson's arms, yanking him inside the house.

"Please tell me you haven't spent the whole day drinking," Jeannie said as she and Rodney steered Carson to the couch.

"No, I spent most of the day at the zoo." Carson fell back on the couch, pulling Rodney and Jeannie down with him.

"The zoo?" Rodney said. "How'd you end up there?"

Carson yawned. "I met this lovely old biddy feeding squirrels in the park. She suggested I visit the zoo, so I hopped on the nearest bus and got directions from the driver. After transferring twice, I was able to catch a bus to Kennedy Station. Then it was the 86A all the way to the zoo." Carson suddenly broke into a grin. "Have you been to the zoo? It's absolutely brilliant!"

Rodney smiled to himself. "I always liked the polar bears."

"Aye, they're great!" Carson said, punching Rodney in the arm in his excitement. "You can look through those windows and see them swimming underwater!"

Rodney grimaced and rubbed his arm. "So the zoo has bars now, does it? I knew it would eventually turn into a commercialized tourist trap, but that's just wrong."

Jeannie shook her head. "I think you'll find he got drunk after his trip to the zoo. Isn't that right, Carson?"

"What?" Carson had tilted his head back and was gazing up at the ceiling in fascination. "Oh, I met these wonderful lads from Newfoundland in the Australasia Pavilion, and they invited me to tag along on their pub crawl."

"Oh, God," Rodney and Jeannie both said.

Carson beamed proudly. "I've now sampled most of the beer in Canada."

Rodney groaned and buried his head in his hands.

"Oh, no, don't start crying again, Rodney." Carson rubbed Rodney's back gently, hoping to prevent any tears. "Look, I have just the thing to cheer you up: a Newfie joke."

"No!" Jeannie cried. "Not in this house! Not ever!"

Carson pouted. "But it's funny."

"Yeah, if you're drunk," Rodney said, lifting his head. "It won't be as funny when you're sober. Trust me."

Carson still wasn't happy, but he let it go. "I bought presents for everyone, but I think I left them in the taxi."

Jeannie squeezed Carson's shoulder. "We can call the cab company in the morning."

Carson met Jeannie's amused eyes with a serious expression. "I didn't get you a present because I thought you might see it as charity."

Rodney sniggered, and Jeannie hit his leg. "It's okay, Carson," Jeannie said. "Don't worry about it."

Carson reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pamphlet. "I adopted an animal in your name. It's a Spiny-Shelled...Spiny Soft...an endangered turtle."

"Oh, Carson, that was so sweet of you." Jeannie took the pamphlet and began skimming it eagerly.

"You'll be receiving an adoption certificate in the mail," Carson said. "Oh, and there'll be a fact sheet, newsletters, and--" Carson yawned, rubbing his eyes.

Jeannie set the pamphlet down on the coffee table. "I think someone's ready for bed." She knelt down on the carpet and started unlacing Carson's shoes, while Rodney struggled to remove Carson's jacket.

Carson attempted to shrug them off. "But we had a fight."

Rodney and Jeannie looked at Carson expectantly, but he'd apparently lost his train of thought. Rodney recaptured the sleeve of Carson's jacket and tugged hard. "Jeannie and I had a little talk after you left," he said, "and we, uh, managed to clear up a few things."

Carson's jaw dropped comically. "You did?"

"We did." Jeannie removed Carson's left shoe and started untying the right one. "We both realized that we put you in a pretty impossible position."

When Carson frowned confusedly, Rodney said, "You really couldn't correct Jeannie's ridiculous assumptions without breaking your confidentiality agreement."

Jeannie glared at Rodney from the floor. "Just as you couldn't tell Rodney about my perfectly justifiable, if false, beliefs without making him look like an idiot for breaking his own confidentiality agreement."

"Hey!" Rodney protested.

"Actually," Carson said, "I didn't tell Rodney because you two had just been reunited and I wanted you to get along."

"Really?" Jeannie popped up from the carpet. "That's so...so..." She blushed and disappeared into the front hall with Carson's shoes.

"Here, you can take this too," Rodney said, tossing Carson's jacket at Jeannie when she returned to the living room.

"Gee, thanks," Jeannie grumbled, turning around again. "By the way, Carson," she called from the front hall, "you don't have to worry about any more secrets because Rodney's told me everything."

Carson's eyes widened. "Everything?"

Jeannie towered over him with a triumphant smile. "_Everything_. The Stargate Program, the Pegasus Galaxy, Atlantis..."

As Sheppard wasn't around, Carson smacked Rodney on the back of the head. "Now what did you do that for, you daft bugger?"

"Oww!" Rodney tried to shield himself from further attacks with a cushion. "I had to tell her! She interrogated me! She shone a light in my eyes!"

Jeannie snorted. "It was a pen-light, you wuss."

Rodney peeked at Carson from behind the cushion. "It was really bright, and-and she shone it in my eyes!"

Carson suddenly felt sober, far too sober. He wasn't sure, but he thought the blood might have drained from his face.

It obviously had, for Jeannie quickly said, "It's okay. I'm not going to tell anyone. Who would believe me, anyway?"

"But you believe it?" Carson asked. "All of it?"

Jeannie looked at Rodney as she answered. "Well, yeah. He can't lie to save his life, even when I'm not shining a light in his face. Besides, if I can believe my brother's pregnant, I can pretty much swallow anything."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Carson certainly hadn't been exaggerating when he'd told Rodney that there was a lot to think about. Rodney had so much to think about that he'd found it impossible to follow doctor's orders and rest. Once he was sure Radek had gone to bed, he'd snuck to the labs, hoping to get some work done, but all he'd managed to do was stare blankly at his computer screen. When Carson tracked him down, Rodney actually welcomed the distraction, though he was sure this house call would entail a lecture of some kind.

"I thought I told you to rest," Carson said. He was standing right beside Rodney, leaning against the table.

Pretending to be absorbed in his work, Rodney only flicked a cursory glance in Carson's direction. Then he consulted his watch. "It's 1:08 a.m. Technically, it's a new day." As focused as Rodney was on trying to look busy, it took him longer than usual to notice that Carson wasn't arguing with him. Rodney's eyes whipped from his monitor to Carson, who had the same expression on his face that he always had when he was about to deliver bad news to a patient. "Is something wrong with the baby?" Rodney asked.

"No, no," Carson said. "As far as I can determine, the baby is just fine."

"Then what is it?" Rodney was now giving Carson his full attention, but Carson looked away and squirmed uncomfortably. Suddenly, Rodney knew exactly what the problem was. "You've figured it out, haven't you?"

"Figured it out?" Carson was deliberately playing dumb, and Rodney wondered if he was stalling for time.

"The inconsistency with the dates," Rodney said. "I'm almost six weeks...along, and, yet, it's only been about three weeks since Sheppard came to you for, uh, supplies."

"Ah, right. Yes, I had wondered about that. I thought, perhaps, that there might have been some earlier...encounter." To his credit, Carson didn't blush, though the tips of his ears turned pink.

"No, it only happened twice," Rodney said, "and there wasn't any, uh, penetration until the second time, which was just before Sheppard left." Now Rodney found that he was blushing himself and wanted to be looking at anything but Carson.

Carson smiled at Rodney sympathetically. "I hate to pry, but if Colonel Sheppard isn't the father then who is?"

"Oh, that's easy. There isn't one." At Carson's flabbergasted expression, Rodney said, "Okay, there was obviously a father at some point. Let's just say that he hasn't put in an appearance recently. Perhaps for ten thousand years."

"I'm sorry. What?" Carson was completely lost. This conversation wasn't making sense at all.

"Remember when Sheppard, Ronon and I went to check out that lab on Creseda?" Rodney asked.

Carson nodded. "Yes, Sheppard thought you'd hit your head and was hallucinating, but nothing showed up on the MRI." He leaned back on the table again, studying Rodney curiously. "Do you suspect something happened on the planet?"

"More than suspect, yes." Rodney rose from his chair and began pacing. "I didn't tell you this at the time because Sheppard had you convinced that I was hallucinating." Rodney snorted. "Hell, he almost had me convinced. Almost. But now I know it must have been true."

Carson snagged Rodney's arm as he walked past. "What must have been true? What happened?"

Rodney gestured at the ceiling with his free hand. "I fell from...Well, a great height. I should have died instantly. I was sure that I would." Rodney laughed quietly. "When I hit the ground, I wished I had, I was in so much pain. But then this woman appeared and-and healed me."

Carson felt the hairs on the back of his neck rising. "Rodney, even if you survived such a fall, you wouldn't be standing here now. You wouldn't be standing at all. You'd probably be a quadriplegic, or suffer from some form of paralysis or brain damage." Carson shook his head. "You must have been hallucinating."

"I wasn't hallucinating. I fell and a woman, possibly an ascended Ancient, healed me." As Carson shot him a skeptical look, Rodney said, "When I was on the path to ascension, I healed Radek after he was electrocuted. If the woman I encountered had ascended, my injuries wouldn't be beyond her abilities."

Carson sighed, forced to agree that Rodney was right. "Aye, all right, so an ascended Ancient healed you, but what does that have to do with your pregnancy? Do you think she knocked you up while she was at it?" Carson was joking, but Rodney treated his question seriously.

"Yes," Rodney said. "I think she must have." He sat back down in his chair. "What if a woman ascended when she was a couple of weeks pregnant? What would happen to the embryo?"

Carson opened his mouth to answer, before realizing that he had absolutely no idea. "I don't know," he admitted.

"Well, I don't know either," Rodney said, "but I'm guessing that, without a physical body, the woman would need to implant the embryo for it to develop."

"Well, assuming the embryo was still intact..." Carson's words trailed off when he realized where Rodney was heading with this supposition. "You think the woman who healed you implanted her embryo in you?" Carson didn't sound convinced. "No offence, Rodney, but wouldn't it have been easier for her to implant the embryo in a woman?"

Rodney crossed his arms. "Maybe I was the first human -- the first physical body -- she had come across in centuries. When she was healing my injuries, she might have made the decision to implant her embryo."

"Rodney, even if she were capable of implanting her embryo in another person how could she have implanted it in you?" Carson asked. "You don't have...the necessary equipment."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "I'll remind you once again of all the impossible things I was able to do when I was ascending, such as reading minds and levitating you off the ground." He smiled. "If Mommy Ancient has those kinds of powers then I think she can handle a little interior construction."

Carson's elbow almost slipped off the table. "Interior construction? Rodney, the woman built you a bloody uterus!"

"Well, of course she built me a bloody uterus," Rodney said. "I mean, it had to come from somewhere. I didn't just wake up one morning to discover I had one." He sighed and ran a hand across his face. "Look, you can perform a DNA test when the baby's born. I think you'll find that the DNA doesn't contain genetic material from either me or Sheppard."

"And you're all right with that?" Carson asked. "Carrying a baby that isn't yours?"

"I believe the proper term is 'surrogate mother,'" Rodney said, "and, yes, I'm okay with it." He leaned forward in his chair. "The woman saved my life, Carson. I think carrying her baby is the least I can do."

Carson gripped Rodney by the shoulders. "It's your body, Rodney. You have every right to refuse her. She didn't ask your permission. She invaded your body and used it for her own purposes."

"For the sake of the baby!" Rodney shook Carson's hands off his shoulders. "Her methods may have been questionable, but her intentions were good. She was just doing whatever it took to ensure her baby's survival, like any mother should."

"Except that she isn't the mother anymore," Carson said. "You are."

"Yes, well..." Rodney's hands twitched restlessly at his sides, before settling on his belly, as if it were the most natural place for them to be. Rodney gazed down at his hands in surprise then smiled. "Stupid people raise kids all the time. If they can do it then how hard could it possibly be for a genius like me?"

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
The knuckles around the fork were white, and Jeannie was glaring at Rodney through narrowed eyes. "You don't know anything about parenting, do you?"

Rodney met his sister's hostile gaze in confusion. "I thought you'd be happy," he said. "A computer will help him get better grades in school. There are educational games and he could use it for research."

Carson bit his lip helplessly when Rodney shot him a silent entreaty for help. But Carson knew that Rodney was waging a losing battle. He could see by the tense set of Jeannie's shoulders, and the stubborn tilt of her chin, that she wasn't going to back down. Unfortunately, either Rodney didn't realize Jeannie would be the victor or he was refusing to accept defeat.

"Why can't I get Andrew a computer for his birthday?" Rodney asked. There was a distinct whine in his voice, and his pout might have been more effective if he hadn't had a tiny blob of quiche in the corner of his mouth.

Despite her anger, Jeannie couldn't fight the maternal instinct that had her reaching across the kitchen table to wipe the food off Rodney's face. "I can't afford to buy him a computer, so you can't afford to buy him a computer either," she said.

Rodney pulled away from the impromptu face-cleaning. "Don't be ridiculous. Of course I can buy him a computer. I make more than enough money to cover it."

Carson cleared his throat and kicked Rodney's ankle under the table.

"Uh," Rodney said, "what I meant to say is that, uh, he's my nephew. I can buy him a top-of-the-line computer with a 2 TB hard drive, widescreen LCD monitor, hi-speed internet and laser printer if I want to."

Carson smothered a groan as Jeannie's expression grew positively venemous. "Uh, what I think Rodney _really_ meant to say is--"

Jeannie immediately cut him off. "Yes, I know _exactly_ what Rodney was trying to say."

Rodney frowned, still not understanding the problem. "I wasn't around for his other birthdays," he said, "so I have a lot to make up for."

Jeannie stared at Rodney in disbelief. "And you think buying an outrageously expensive present is going to make up for eight missed birthdays?"

Rodney smiled nervously. "Uh, yes?"

Jeannie whacked Rodney on the knuckles with her fork. "_No_."

Ten minutes later, Rodney was making a more modest proposal. "Okay, a refurbished computer, a CRT monitor, an inkjet-printer and dial-up internet."

"And how much will all that cost?" Jeannie asked.

Rodney ran a hand across his face. "I honestly don't care."

"Well, you'd better start caring because you're not getting any of that stuff for him if it's too expensive," Jeannie said.

Rodney snorted and rolled his eyes. "Like the kid's gonna know."

Jeannie's eyes remained fixed on her brother. "He's not stupid, Rodney. He'll know."

Carson coughed hesitantly. "I could pay for the printer or monitor. Rodney's gift would be less expensive then."

Jeannie's head swivelled sharply. "You're not his uncle. Why should you have to pay for something like that?"

Carson suppressed the pain Jeannie's response invoked. "I may not be his uncle, but I'd like to think that I'm at least his friend."

Jeannie sighed. "Okay, fine. Buy him some hockey cards."

Carson eyed Jeannie skeptically. "Uh, are you sure that's a good idea considering what happened?"

Andrew's hockey team had lost the tournament last week. When they had returned home after the game, Andrew had barricaded himself in his room and had only emerged hours later, red-eyed and sniffing, when he was coaxed out with hot dogs and anime. Most of Andrew's team-mates had broken down in the locker room, while Jeannie and Carson had only been able to hold it together until they reached the car. Rodney had started crying halfway through the game, though Carson suspected that had been due to hormones.

"Considering that Andrew rushed through dinner to play street hockey with his friends, I think he's okay now," Jeannie said, smiling as she glanced at Andrew's empty spot at the table. "Get him some hockey cards. He'll like that." She twirled her fork and pointed it at Rodney. "You can get him some hockey cards too."

"Sure. Whatever." Rodney pushed his chair back from the table then slammed his dishes into the dishwasher as he stormed out of the kitchen.

Carson glanced at Jeannie, who looked stunned. However, she quickly recovered, rising from her chair to clear the table, pretending nothing had happened. Carson decided to play along for the moment and silently helped Jeannie clean the kitchen.

Carson knew Jeannie had been even more sensitive about financial issues lately. There was a good chance that the current owners of the diner might be closing shop after the fire. Carson had seen Jeannie studying the Toronto Star classifieds and had overheard her admitting to Rodney that she was searching for another job. That was when Jeannie had reluctantly accepted a small loan from her brother, though Rodney had just about gone ballistic when she'd offered to pay him back with interest.

Jeannie had just started wiping off the table, when she looked up at Carson. "Okay, whatever it is you're going to say, just spit it out. I told Trish I'd cover the end of her shift so she could visit her dad in the hospital." She glanced at the clock on the microwave oven. "I've got to leave in 15 minutes."

Carson pulled out a chair and sat down. He sighed when Jeannie continued cleaning the table. "Let Rodney give Andrew a computer," he said.

"Why?" Jeannie asked, sounding defiant.

Carson took the wash cloth from Jeannie's hand. "Because he's trying to reach out to you -- to both of you -- and it's obviously important to him."

Jeannie sat down at the table, but kept her eyes on the wash cloth in Carson's hands. "You can't buy love. Rodney seems to think that if he throws enough money at a problem, it will go away."

"It's a birthday present," Carson said. "It's meant to be a gesture of love."

Jeannie's eyes flew to Carson's face sharply. "Oh, so by buying Andrew a great big expensive present, Rodney can prove how much he loves his nephew, that he, in fact, loves Andrew more than I do."

Carson's eyes widened. "Now, hold on! That's not what I meant at all!"

"Well, what's Andrew supposed to think when he wakes up on his birthday and receives a better present from his uncle than his mother?" Jeannie said. She shook her head and stood.

"Jeannie--"

Jeannie raised her hands and backed away. "I have to go to work." She turned and walked out of the kitchen. Carson slumped in his chair for an instant then went down to the basement to talk to Rodney.

Carson was halfway down the stairs when he heard the strains of an electric guitar. After he had taken a few more steps, he recognized Queen's "Play the Game". However, Rodney had stopped the music file on his laptop by the time Carson reached the bed.

"Don't turn it off on my account," Carson said. "I like Queen."

Rodney smiled sheepishly. "I like Queen too, but I'd prefer not to turn into Mike Myers, thank you."

Carson stared at Rodney blankly. "Mike Myers?"

Rodney gestured at their surroundings, which consisted mostly of wood panelling. "You know. Because I'm listening to Queen in a Scarborough basement." Rodney sighed impatiently when Carson still didn't get it. "Does _Wayne's World_ not ring a bell?"

Carson shook his head. "Not really, no." Then he stared at his friend as Rodney started playing air guitar and bopping his head.

"Wayne's World! Wayne's World! Party time! Excellent! Woo woo woo!"

Now Carson was gaping at Rodney as if he were completely deranged.

Rodney slowly lowered his hands. "_Shrek_?" he asked. "_Austin Powers_? Yeah, baby, yeah?"

Carson snapped his fingers. "Fat Bastard!"

Rodney snorted. "Figures you'd remember him," he said. Then he ignored Carson and started typing something. Carson hesitated a moment before sitting down on the bed. "Was there something you wanted?" Rodney asked, not bothering to look up from his laptop.

Carson held back a sigh. "You can't buy him a computer, Rodney."

Rodney froze, his fingers suspended above the keyboard. Then he swallowed and gave a brisk nod. "Yeah, I know," he said.

Carson patted Rodney's shoulder. "Your heart was in the right place, but--"

Rodney slammed his laptop shut. "Does she really expect me to just get the kid a pack of hockey cards? I mean, my family wasn't exactly _The Waltons_, but at least our birthday presents were half decent." He flopped back on the mattress. "What kind of message is a pack of hockey cards going to send? Happy birthday from Uncle Skinflint?"

Carson smiled sympathetically. "Maybe you can find something that's a little more impressive than hockey cards but not as expensive as a computer," he said. "How about tickets to a hockey game?"

Rodney shrugged. "I don't know, Carson. Jeannie might think it's too extravagant."

Carson patted Rodney's shoulder again. "Give it a couple of days. That will give you both a chance to cool down."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
A few days later, Carson was mowing the lawn when a maroon Camry pulled into the driveway. Carson switched off the lawnmower and walked across the lawn as a woman with dark hair emerged from the car. She was wearing a fuscia short-sleeved blouse and a skirt with a floral pattern. As Carson came closer, he saw that she was older than he'd first realized. She had to be in her late fifties at least. She might have been attractive if it hadn't been for that severe frown or the deep furrow that seemed to be permanently etched between her eyebrows. Carson couldn't help thinking that she was looking down her nose at him, which was quite a feat considering that she was several inches shorter than he was.

"I didn't think Jeannie could afford to hire someone to cut her grass," the woman said. Then she placed her index finger against her chin and tilted her head, almost as if reconsidering her initial assessment. "Who are you? A neighbour who couldn't stand looking at this eyesore any longer?"

Carson couldn't quite keep the coldness out of his voice. "I'm her friend," he said.

"Friend?" The woman sounded surprised.

Carson didn't like her tone. "Is there something I can help you with?" he asked.

The woman drew herself up haughtily. "I'm here to see my grandson."

_Grandson?_ Then it all clicked into place. "Oh, you're Andrew's grandmother." _Jeannie's ex-mother-in-law. The bitch. What was her name?_ "Uh...Donna."

"Yes." Donna popped open the trunk of her car and pulled out two brightly-coloured gift bags decorated with pictures of balloons, birthday cakes and clowns. "I'm here to drop off Andrew's presents. I'll be attending a three-day découpage conference in Stowe, Vermont next week, so I'm afraid I won't be around for his birthday."

"A three-day découpage conference in Stowe, Vermont?" Carson said. At Donna's sharp look, Carson smothered the urge to laugh. Then he was scrambling after the woman as she strode purposely up the driveway.

Donna paused just outside the house to glance up at the roof. "You might want to check the eavestrough," she said. "It probably hasn't been cleaned out in years."

At first, Carson had no idea what an "eavestrough" was, but then he followed her gaze and realized that she was talking about the gutter. Deciding that it was easier to agree with her than to argue, Carson gritted his teeth and nodded. Then he was jogging after Donna as she marched up to the front door and waltzed into the house as if she owned it.

"Uh, Jeannie isn't here," Carson said. "She's out...shopping."

Donna turned to Carson abruptly. "Shopping?"

Carson found himself nodding again. "Aye, grocery shopping."

In reality, Jeannie had dragged Rodney out to buy some maternity clothes. Now that Rodney was approaching his 15th week of pregnancy, he was definitely showing. He had been in denial until Jeannie told him that it looked like he had a tennis ball lodged in his belly. Rodney had been forced to accept that he would need to make some changes to his wardrobe after that.

Donna had made herself comfortable on the couch and was staring at Carson expectantly. At a loss as to what he should do, Carson tried to play the good host in Jeannie's absence. "Would you like anything?" he asked. "A cookie? Some tea or coffee?"

Donna rolled her eyes up at the ceiling. "I was hoping to spend some time with my grandson," she said. "I get to see him so rarely and I came all this way."

Carson didn't even bother to protest. "Aye, of course." He walked out the side door to the backyard, where Andrew was playing with some of his friends. Andrew beamed when he saw Carson, but his face fell when Carson told him his grandmother had arrived.

"Okay," Andrew said quietly and he trudged towards the house, not even bothering to say goodbye to his friends. Carson smiled at them apologetically, but they were already filing out of the backyard. As Andrew was walking with the slow gait of someone who was about to face a firing squad, Carson caught up with him easily.

When they entered the living room, Donna immediately patted the seat cushion next to her. "Come sit beside me on the chesterfield, Andrew." The boy grimaced but complied. "Give your grandmother a kiss," Donna said as soon as Andrew sat down.

Carson held his breath and waited. Then he bit his lip to keep from laughing as Andrew pecked Donna on the cheek in the fastest kiss he'd ever seen. Donna frowned at Andrew, but let it go, reaching for one of the gift bags on the coffee table. When Andrew took the present eagerly, Donna said, "Open the card first," and waved an envelope in front of him.

Andrew dutifully tore open the envelope and read the card before diving into the first gift bag. He looked disappointed when he pulled out two sweaters and a pair of dress pants, but he managed to hide it quickly.

Donna raised an eyebrow expectantly. "What do you say, Andrew?"

"Thank you, Grandma." Andrew reached for the second gift bag then glanced at his grandmother, as if seeking her permission. Donna inclined her head graciously. Andrew grabbed his present. When he found three books in the gift bag, he had to fight even harder to conceal his chagrin.

"I talked to your teacher," Donna said. "I know you're still having trouble with your reading." Andrew blushed and Carson winced compassionately. Donna was either oblivious to their discomfort or chose to ignore it. She plucked up one of the books and held it out to Andrew. "Read it to me."

Andrew shot Carson a panicked look, but Carson knew there was nothing he could do to help him. Carson was only a visitor, not even a relative. He had no authority here.

Carson disappeared into the kitchen, hoping to at least provide some degree of privacy. He knew how much Andrew hated reading aloud, especially if he had an audience. For several minutes, Carson could hear Andrew's uncertain voice, tripping and stumbling over certain words. Finally, Donna took pity on Andrew, telling the boy he could go back out to play.

Carson emerged from the kitchen in time to place a hand on Andrew's shoulder as he passed. "I struggled with reading too, son. It'll get better."

Andrew nodded glumly, not looking convinced. Then he escaped outside.

"You shouldn't make light of the problem," Donna said. "This is serious."

Carson crossed his arms. "He's an eight-year-old boy. A lot of kids have trouble reading at his age."

Donna smiled in a patronizing manner. "Are you a child psychologist? A parent yourself?" She laughed. "I've only seen you mowing the lawn. What makes you such an expert?"

Carson gaped at her. Then, completely fed up, he said, "I have to finish mowing the lawn. Jeannie should be home soon. I'm sure you can entertain yourself until then."

"And what will you do when you've finished your chores?" Donna asked. "Go home like a good little boy?"

Carson's lips curved and he couldn't hide the perverse sense of pleasure he felt when he said, "This _is_ home. I'm staying here." Carson caught a glimpse of Donna's shocked expression before heading back outside. When Donna headed down the driveway a few minutes later, Carson was sure to wave goodbye to her.

Carson had finished mowing the lawn, and was pulling a Labatt Blue from the fridge, when Jeannie and Rodney came into the kitchen carrying grocery bags. Rodney dumped his bags on the floor.

"I can't believe you wanted me to buy that pink t-shirt with the sunflower on it," he said to Jeannie. "It was huge and-and _pink_."

Jeannie reached into one of her own bags and started yanking out groceries. "Yeah, well, don't come crying to me when you're eight months pregnant and can't see your feet. You'll wish you had it then."

Carson took a package of processed cheese from Jeannie and stuck it in the fridge. "I take it your shopping trip wasn't entirely successful."

Jeannie glared at Rodney. "Try not successful at all." She grasped Carson's sleeve almost desperately. "Please go shopping with Rodney and get him some damn maternity clothes. I don't want him walking around naked when his clothes don't fit anymore."

Rodney almost dropped the bottle of ketchup he was holding. "Jeannie!"

Carson shot a look at Rodney and grimaced. "We'll go tomorrow."

"Thank you," Jeannie said with heartfelt gratitude.

Carson couldn't help grinning, even after Rodney threw a clove of garlic at him. Carson caught it as it bounced off his head. Then he stared at it in confusion. It wasn't an item that typically made it on to Jeannie's grocery list. "Uh, I think there might have been a mix up at the supermarket."

"Oh, it gets better." Jeannie smirked and tossed her head at Rodney. "You should see what's in the other bags."

"Oh, really?" Carson smiled in a predatory fashion, and Rodney tried to guard the remaining groceries at his feet. However, Rodney was no match for Carson. He tried to grab Carson when Carson lunged forward, but Carson dodged around him and dove to the floor, snatching two of the bags.

"Hey, gimme that!" Rodney said.

Carson scurried out of reach, ducking behind Jeannie. "Why, what do we have here?" Carson rummaged through one of the bags and found some chives, walnuts, a jar of roasted red peppers, and a package of chicken breasts.

Rodney jerked his chin up, though he was blushing. "I was flipping through one of Jeannie's cookbooks the other day and found this recipe for penne with chicken, roasted-red-pepper pesto and, uh, olives."

Carson tried not to laugh. "Rodney, I didn't think you liked olives."

Rodney shrugged. "I don't. Not usually. But they sounded good when I read the recipe. Strange, eh?"

Carson couldn't hold it in any longer, though he did his best to stifle his laughter when he saw the hurt look on his friend's face. "Rodney, it's the baby."

Rodney stared at Carson blankly. "What?"

"You're experiencing what is known as cravings," Carson said.

Rodney's mouth fell open. "Cravings? Really? But don't cravings involve weird things like ice cream and pickles?"

"Well," Carson said, "considering that your idea of haute cuisine is hospital food and MREs, I'd say that craving penne with chicken and all those other things would definitely fall under the 'weird' category for you."

Jeannie nudged Rodney and he transferred the rest of the groceries from the floor to the kitchen table. "I don't care whether the baby wants penne with chicken or you do," Jeannie said. "I'm not cooking this -- not without some help, anyway."

Rodney thrust out his growing belly, his hands falling on his hips. "I'm perfectly capable of cooking my own meal, thanks."

Jeannie laughed loudly. "I'm sorry, but we are talking about Rodney 'I burnt soup once' McKay, right?"

Carson gaped at Rodney incredulously. "You burnt _soup_? How?"

Rodney's belly jutted out even further. "It's easier than you might think."

Jeannie hooked her arm through his and pulled him towards the living room. "Come on, champ. I think you can take a break first."

"Yeah, okay," Rodney said, allowing Jeannie to lead him to the couch. Then he looked up at his sister questioningly. She had paused in front of the coffee table and was staring down at Andrew's presents."

Carson, who had grabbed his beer and followed them out of the kitchen, said, "Oh, uh..."

Jeannie didn't take her eyes off the presents. "So, I see the bitch was here."

Carson nodded reluctantly. "Aye."

Rodney studied the items on the table in confusion. "How could you tell?"

"The pretty gift bags and the choice of presents," Jeannie said. "She usually goes for either practical or educational gifts." Jeannie lifted one of the sweaters by its woollen sleeve. "Looks like this time she chose both." Jeannie turned to Carson. "Did she do anything else besides drop off birthday presents, terrorize Andrew, and be rude and condescending?"

"No, that pretty much sums it up." Carson smiled, taking a long sip of beer.

"Oh, so it wasn't too bad, then," Jeannie said, and Carson almost choked on his drink.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
On the morning of his birthday, Andrew woke around 5:00. As he didn't have a hockey practice, Carson muttered a sleepy "happy birthday" before sending him back to bed. Andrew managed to stay in his room until almost 6:00. Then he stood at the threshold of the living room until Carson said, "Oh, go on, then. Switch on the telly. I'll cook you an omelet."

It wasn't long before the aroma from the kitchen lured Rodney from the basement. As he stumbled towards the coffeemaker for his allotted cup of the day, he asked if Carson was making fritatas, and Carson rolled his eyes. Rodney stuck his head in the fridge and slapped a carton of cream and some grated parmesan cheese down beside the stove. Carson handed the cream back to Rodney, but added the parmesan cheese to the mixture in the pan.

Jeannie showed up just as Carson finished cooking breakfast, and Carson suspected that her timing was due to cunning strategy rather than chance. As Jeannie made her way to the coffeemaker, she leaned over Andrew's chair and kissed the top of his head, wishing him a happy birthday.

Although Jeannie asked them to slow down, Andrew and Rodney both wolfed down their omelets. Sighing, Jeannie left her own breakfast unfinished, going to the front hall to get Andrew's presents from the closet. When Rodney saw Jeannie place her gifts on the coffee table, he said, "Oh, yeah," and headed down to the basement. Carson simply sat on the couch, reached down between the one arm and the end table, and pulled out his own present.

As Andrew sat down beside him, he stared at the gift in surprise. "You got me a present too?"

"Och, of course I did, you daft little git," Carson said, ruffling Andrew's hair. He tossed a glance at Jeannie, and she smiled at him from the other side of the couch.

"I got him something too." Rodney reappeared from the basement carrying a large box covered in SpongeBob SquarePants wrapping paper. Andrew's face lit up as soon as he saw it and he couldn't seem to draw his eyes away from the box.

"Well, I think we know what present Andrew's going to open first," Jeannie said as Rodney set his gift down on the coffee table and flopped into the armchair.

Andrew, ignoring the sarcastic comment, began ripping the SpongeBob paper off the box. Then he stared at the present, transfixed. "PlayStation 2," he whispered reverently.

"I realize it isn't the latest version," Rodney said. "In fact, I'm pretty sure that it isn't even the second latest version, but I've heard it's still fairly -- Oomph!"

"Thank you!" Andrew had leapt into the armchair and thrown his arms around Rodney's neck.

"Oh, uh, you're welcome." Rodney blushed and hugged Andrew awkwardly.

"Hey, what's this?" Andrew asked, and Carson held his breath as Andrew patted Rodney's stomach. Then Andrew was reaching inside Rodney's housecoat and pulling out something wrapped in a Future Shop bag.

Jeannie frowned. "Rodney..."

Rodney waved his hand dismissively. "What? The kid needs _something_ to play on it."

Andrew yanked a video game out of the Future Shop bag and clutched it excitedly in both hands. "It's NHL 08! It's the same game Sidney Yang has on Xbox!"

Rodney looked at Jeannie for guidance. "Is that good?"

"Yeah, that's good," Jeannie said.

Andrew ran back to the couch. "Mom, can I play it now?"

Jeannie laughed. "Why don't you open your other presents first?" When Andrew frowned, Jeannie said, "Maybe there'll be time before school."

Satisfied, Andrew sat back down on the couch and reached for one of Jeannie's presents.

Jeannie pushed his hand away gently. "No, open Carson's next."

"Okay." Remembering his grandmother, Andrew read the card before digging around in the gift bag for his present.

"I'm afraid your Uncle Rodney's gift is much more impressive than mine," Carson said, hoping to forestall any disappointment. However, Andrew grinned when he fished out an _NHL's Greatest Goals_ DVD and a pair of hockey gloves. "Your mum said your gloves were a wee bit tight, so I thought I'd get you a new pair."

"Thanks, Carson," Andrew said.

Carson wrapped an arm around Andrew's shoulders and squeezed, pleasantly surprised when Andrew chose to return the hug.

"So, I guess it's my turn," Jeannie said, when everyone turned to her expectantly. "Or maybe you should wait till tonight," she added when Andrew reached for the card sitting on the table. "You know. Spread out your presents."

Andrew stared back at his mother in outrage. At first, Carson assumed that Jeannie was teasing her son, but then he realized that she was actually nervous.

Rodney crossed his arms and glared at his sister. "Come on, Jeannie, even I know better than to make a kid wait for his next birthday present."

Andrew copied his uncle's gesture and threw in a pout for good measure. "I want to open them _now_."

Jeannie sighed. "Well, fine."

Watching his mother warily, Andrew opened his card, reading it patiently before setting it back on the table and reaching for the larger box. But Jeannie was pressing the smaller gift into his hands.

"I know it doesn't look like much," Jeannie said, "but I think you'll..." She trailed off as Andrew tore the wrapping paper to shreds.

"Oh, cool!" Andrew cried. "It's a Gametime Toronto Maple Leafs Future Star Youth watch!"

"Oh, you've heard of it, then?" Jeannie asked, sounding amused.

Andrew nodded eagerly. "Yeah, Dylan and Kyle have one. The numbers glow in the dark!"

"Oh, really?" Rodney craned his neck in interest, and Andrew brought the watch over to the armchair for his inspection.

Andrew stood at Rodney's side for almost a full minute before his curiosity got the better of him and he was kneeling at the coffee table, grabbing his last present. Jeannie chewed her bottom lip anxiously as Andrew opened it, and Carson wondered what on earth it could be. Andrew seemed equally confused because when he lifted the red and white jersey out of the cardboard box, he simply stared at it, dumbfounded. Then he read the lettering on the jersey aloud. "Rougemont Hockey Camp?"

"Well, yeah," Jeannie said. "You're going to need it this summer if you're planning to go."

Andrew's big brown eyes grew wider and rounder than Carson had ever seen them. "I'm going to hockey camp?"

Jeannie had progressed to biting her knuckles. "Uh, I assume that's okay."

Andrew leapt to his feet, jumping up and down in excitement. "Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm going to hockey camp!" He barrelled into Jeannie, almost knocking the air from her lungs. "I love you! You're the best mom _ever_!"

Although Jeannie tried clearing her throat, her voice was still suspiciously rough. "You're welcome. I'm glad you like it."

"Like it? I love it!" Andrew planted a big messy kiss on Jeannie's cheek and then he was off the couch again. "Oh my God! I've got to tell Britney! I've got to tell _everybody_!"

"What? _Now_?" Jeannie said. "Can't it wait till you get to school?"

Andrew looked at Jeannie as if she were clinically insane then opened the front door, ready to leave the house clad only in his pyjamas.

Jeannie followed him to the door, laughing. "Andrew, at least put some shoes on, for heaven's sake!"

Andrew took just enough time to slip on his sneakers before he was out the door and running down the driveway.

"And look both ways before you cross the street, you crazy nut!" Jeannie shouted after him. When she closed the front door and turned back to the living room, she found Rodney standing there, staring at her. "What?" she asked.

"Jeannie, how are you paying for this?" Rodney demanded. "Hockey camp is almost as expensive as a computer. Some hockey camps _are_ as expensive as a computer."

"Hockey camp isn't as expensive as a computer," Jeannie said, carefully avoiding Rodney's eyes. "Not a new computer, anyway. Besides, I made an arrangement with Rougemont, so it's covered."

"Oh, uh..." Suddenly, it was Rodney who had trouble making eye contact. "You're not planning to sleep with the president or the coach, are you?"

"What?" Jeannie punched Rodney in the arm.

"Ow! The baby!" Rodney cried, clutching his limb.

Jeannie rolled her eyes. "Hitting your arm isn't going to hurt the baby. Ask Carson."

"It's true," Carson said. "In fact, I was about to suggest that you whack him on the head. I think it would be much more effective."

Rodney backed away from Jeannie, shooting Carson a betrayed look. Jeannie remained rooted to the spot, though she looked as if she were tempted to follow Carson's advice.

"I meant an installment plan, you idiot," she said.

"Oh." Rodney rubbed his arm sullenly. "It's still a lot of money."

Jeannie moved over to the window and peered through the curtains. "I'll get another job eventually. I'll find a way to pay for it."

Rodney shook his head. "Jeannie, even if you get another job--"

"He's my son," Jeannie said. "He's totally worth it. And you saw how happy it made him. And, look, it's made Britney and Jamie happy too."

Both Rodney and Carson walked over to the window. Andrew, Britney and Jamie were dancing wildly in the driveway across the street.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
As Andrew's birthday had fallen on a Friday, Andrew had been allowed to invite a few friends over after school to watch movies, though they had spent more time on PlayStation 2. Jeannie had ordered pizza and bought a cake at Loblaws. It had been almost 9:30 by the time the last kid had gone home, and they had been able to start putting the house back together again. Carson had been amazed when Andrew had offered to help clean up, though he suspected it was an excuse to stay up later. As Andrew still hadn't come down from his sugar high, Jeannie had relented.

"Mom," Andrew said, as he picked up a stray napkin from the coffee table, "why does Uncle Rodney always go down to the basement when we have company?"

Jeannie froze in mid-bend then straightened, ignoring the paper plate with the cake crumbs and icing smeared on it. "Oh, uh..."

Carson quickly came to her rescue. "Andrew, do you remember what I told you about your Uncle Rodney?"

Andrew's forehead creased. "Yeah, you said he had a medical condition and his body was changing. That's why he's getting fatter, right?"

Carson smiled. "Well, I wouldn't use the word 'fatter' in front of your uncle, but, yes, that's essentially what's happening." Carson stared at the stack of glasses in his hands and, feeling silly, he deposited them in the dishwasher before returning to the living room. "Because your uncle's getting, uh, fatter, he's rather sensitive about his appearance."

"You mean, he thinks people are going to make fun of him?" Andrew asked.

Carson cast a quick glance at Jeannie, who nodded her approval. "Uh, yes, I suppose that's part of it."

"That's stupid," Andrew said. "My teacher, Ms. Singh, says that what matters is on the inside not the outside."

Jeannie dropped the plastic bag she had been using to collect garbage and sat down on the couch. "Ms. Singh is absolutely right, and not just because she's your teacher. But it's because of what's on the inside that your Uncle Rodney is changing on the outside."

"Huh?" Andrew said, now thoroughly confused.

"Oh, for God's sake!" Rodney stomped into the living room and stood in front of Andrew, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Look, kid, it's like this. I've got a medical condition, a rare medical condition. In fact, it's so rare that I can't tell anyone about it. I told you I worked for the United States Air Force, right?" Rodney asked, and Andrew grinned. "Well, I contracted the medical condition during the course of my, uh, employment with them, so, because I signed a confidentiality agreement, I have to keep my condition a secret from the general public."

"Oh," Andrew said. "But if you're supposed to keep it a secret shouldn't you be in a secret underground base or something?"

"That's exactly what I _didn't_ want. If the military had their way, I could be shuffled into some lab, or locked away forever." At Andrew's horrified look, Rodney nodded in smug satisfaction. "Oh, yes, it's that serious."

"Holy crap," Andrew whispered. Then he jumped when the doorbell rang. "It's them!" he shouted. "Run, Uncle Rodney! Hide!" He shoved Rodney towards the stairs, and Rodney didn't think twice about disappearing into the basement.

"Uh, I'll get it," Carson said, as Jeannie seemed to be caught up in the drama that was unfolding in her living room. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see a dark-haired man glaring at him from the front stoop.

"So, you're the guy who's shacked up with Jeannie."

"What?" Carson gasped, but the man shoved past him and barged into the living room.

Jeannie was on her feet in an instant. "Chris, what the hell are you doing here?"

"It's my son's birthday," Chris said. "What the hell do you think?"

Jeannie crossed her arms tightly. "It's a little late for a visit."

Chris scowled and glanced at Andrew. "If it's so late then why's he still up?" Jeannie opened her mouth to answer, but Chris ignored her, marching up to Andrew and thrusting a gift bag into his hands. "Happy birthday, Andrew."

Andrew, who had been watching both his parents in trepidation, accepted both the gift and a hug from his father. "Dad, you don't work for the Air Force, do you?"

Chris drew back in surprise. "What? No. What gave you that idea?" He was looking straight at Jeannie, who was standing by the coffee table with her hands on her hips. "Go ahead and open your present. If you wait much longer, it won't be your birthday anymore."

"Uh, okay." Andrew reached into the bag and pulled out a large black binder and what looked like several packs of hockey cards. "Cool! Thanks, Dad!"

Chris ruffled his hair. "You're welcome." He glanced at Jeannie again. "I think it's time you went to bed. It's pretty late and I need to talk to your mom in private."

"Are you going to fight?" Andrew asked, looking from one parent to another nervously.

Chris laughed, but it was a hollow sound. "Of course we're not going to fight."

Jeannie snorted but made no other attempt to refute her ex-husband's statement. She kissed Andrew's forehead and sent him to bed.

Once they heard Andrew's door close, Chris eyed Carson coldly. "I know this man's living here. My mother told me that he was bragging about it."

"I was not!" Carson protested.

"But you are living here," Chris said, poking Carson in the chest.

Jeannie grabbed his hand and pulled it away. "Yes, Carson's living here, but it's not what you think."

Chris laughed again, but this time it sounded unpleasant. "I wasn't born yesterday, Jeannie. I know he isn't here to 'mow your lawn,' unless that's some euphemism for sex I haven't heard of."

Before Carson realized what he was doing, he had grabbed a fistful of Chris's shirt and their faces were barely inches apart.

Jeannie touched his shoulder. "Let him go, Carson." When Carson shook his head, she rubbed his back gently. "Please, Carson. Let him go."

Carson released Chris with a snarl, and Chris almost landed on the coffee table. Chris thrust his finger at Carson again, but this time he was careful not to get too close. "I'm going to have you arrested for assault," he said. "When I finish with you, you're going to wish you'd never met Jeannie."

"If you have Carson arrested for assault, I'm going to tell the cops that you provoked him _and_ report you for being a dead-beat dad." Rodney was standing at the top of the stairs, a glint of fury in his eyes. When Chris spun around, Rodney smiled at him in the same way he smiled at scientists before tearing into them. "Hello, Chris."

Chris stared at Rodney. "You. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, didn't your mother tell you? I'm living here too. That's why Carson's here, actually. He's my doctor." Rodney tutted at Chris's look of surprise. "Your nosy mother really should get her facts straight before ratting on people." He raised his chin and studied Chris for a moment before shaking his head. "Stupidity must run in your family. I guess it's a good thing Andrew gets his brains from his mother's side."

Chris's face flushed, and Carson was afraid they might have to call the police after all, but then Chris took a deep breath and released it with a shaky laugh. "So, what's wrong with you, Rodney? Besides being older, balder and fatter? Are you dying?"

Rodney thought about it for a few seconds and then nodded. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am dying," he said. "See the way my belly is swelling? That's not fat. It's a tumour."

Chris's jaw dropped. "You're kidding."

"Would I kid about a thing like that?" Rodney sighed dramatically. "It's a tumour, Chris, and it's growing."

Chris gulped. "Growing?"

"Oh, yes," Rodney said, warming to his subject. "And when it gets big enough, it's going to explode."

"Explode!"

"Well, that's what it is, you see. An exploding tumour." Rodney beckoned Chris closer, lowering his voice. "That's why I've been spending so much time in the basement. We're hoping it will minimize the damage in case I go off prematurely."

Chris's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. "Oh my God!"

Rodney patted Chris's shoulder. "It's okay. I'm sure I'll get to the hospital in time, though Carson did lay down some sandbags just in case."

"Sandbags?" Chris turned to Jeannie and Carson, but they both had their backs to him. "It's getting late. I should go." He glanced at Rodney's belly and shuddered. "Uh, goodnight, everybody."

"Goodnight, Chris," Rodney said cheerfully.

As neither Jeannie nor Carson trusted themselves to speak, they simply waved. As soon as Chris's car pulled out of the driveway, they both fell down on the couch, laughing. They laughed so hard that tears rolled down their cheeks and their stomachs cramped. Jeannie curled around the arm of the couch, whimpering pitifully, while Carson lay back against the cushions, limp and exhausted. When Carson could summon enough energy to open his eyes, he saw Rodney and Andrew standing on the other side of the living room, watching him and Jeannie warily.

"I'm sorry," Carson said weakly, "but an exploding tumour? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Rodney knew it was ridiculous, but he just couldn't leave the Pegasus Galaxy without talking to his ascended Ancient first. He had tried calling out to her from the privacy of his quarters, but, as she wasn't the Great Gazoo, she hadn't instantly popped up in front of him. From what little Rodney knew about ascended beings, he had a feeling they weren't accustomed to being summoned by mere mortals. However, Rodney suspected that his ascended Ancient might put in an appearance if he returned to the place where he'd first met her: the lab on Creseda. That was how Rodney found himself sitting in Elizabeth's office trying to argue the merits of returning to the planet.

"I just need to tie up some loose ends," he said. "I can be there and back again in a few hours."

"I thought you said the lab was a bust, that there wasn't anything useful on the database." Elizabeth's chin was propped on her hands and she was gazing at Rodney thoughtfully.

Rodney shifted uncomfortably in his chair and tried to focus on anything but the pair of hazel eyes on the other side of the desk: eyes that knew him all too well. "I may have been a little hasty. After all, I had to leave the lab before I could finish studying all the data."

"Oh," Elizabeth said. "Well, in that case, maybe you should return to Creseda."

Rodney's head shot up. "Really?"

Elizabeth smiled. "Certainly, if you think it's important."

Rodney nodded vigorously. "It is. It is important."

"Okay, then. That's good enough for me." Elizabeth leaned back in her chair, folding her hands on the desk. "When would you like to leave?"

"As soon as possible," Rodney said.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, but made no further comment. "You can go once Major Lorne's team has returned from the mainland. We're expecting them back this afternoon."

Rodney released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "This afternoon would be great."

"Take a couple of Marines with you," Elizabeth said.

"Ah, Elizabeth, do I have to?" Rodney had been hoping to return to the lab alone. It was a little difficult to have a private conversation with an ascended being when there were a couple of Marines breathing down your neck. "Uh, I don't suppose I could take Teyla and Ronon instead?" Rodney asked. He knew that if he fiddled around with the database long enough, Teyla and Ronon would get bored, wander out of the lab, and do whatever they normally did when he was working. Rodney wasn't exactly sure what that was as he'd never really paid much attention.

Elizabeth had picked up the silver pocket watch on her desk and was playing with the chain. "Teyla and Ronon would be fine," she said.

Rodney grinned, hardly believing his luck. Usually, Elizabeth didn't give in so easily. "Well, I guess that's settled, then. Thanks, Elizabeth." He rose from his chair, surprised when Elizabeth followed suit. He was even more surprised when Elizabeth walked around the desk to draw him into a hug.

"Be careful, okay?" she said.

"Uh, sure. Aren't I always?" Rodney rested his chin on Elizabeth's shoulder and wondered why she was so concerned about his welfare.

It wasn't until he was halfway to the labs, that Rodney realized Carson must have finally talked to Elizabeth. It would explain why she had just handled him with kid gloves back in her office. Carson must have really laid it on thick. It was either that or Elizabeth assumed that Carson's diagnosis of nervous exhaustion meant that her chief scientist had already cracked under the pressure.

Teyla and Ronon weren't much better. They had started hovering when Sheppard had left and had turned into downright mother hens when they thought Rodney was sick. Rodney suspected that Carson might have talked to them because they were still acting like mother hens, even though Rodney had told them that he'd recovered from the "stomach bug". When they accompanied Rodney to Creseda, he began to wish he'd taken the Marines instead because no matter what Rodney did they refused to let him out of their sight.

"Okay," Rodney said at last, "I have a little confession to make. I didn't come here to study the Cresedan database."

Teyla and Ronon exchanged a glance and smiled. "We know," they said.

"What? How?" Rodney sputtered. He knew his face was like an open book, but Elizabeth had seemed convinced by his story, so he had just assumed that Teyla and Ronon had bought it too. Why else would they have agreed to come along?

Teyla placed a hand on Rodney's shoulder. "I know how much you miss John and that your memories of him must bring you some comfort," she said. "That is why it is only natural that you should wish to return here: to remember that first kiss."

Rodney jerked away from Teyla's hand as if he'd been burnt. "How do you know about that?"

Teyla looked at Ronon and the Satedan shrugged. "I had to talk to somebody about it," Ronon said, "and I knew Teyla would be discreet."

Rodney groaned. "Well, just don't tell anyone else, okay?"

"We promise," Teyla said, and she pressed her hand to her chest in what Rodney assumed was the Athosian version of "cross my heart and hope to die". Then Teyla's hand was back on Rodney's shoulder. "I suspected that something had happened between you both before Ronon confided in me. I could see how happy John was during his last few days on Atlantis, yet there was a sadness too. It was as if he knew that he would be leaving more than just his home and his friends, but something infinitely precious."

Rodney blushed and Ronon looked like he was going to laugh just before Teyla sent a sharp elbow to his ribs.

"Of course, now that John has so much more at stake, I am sure he has all the motivation he needs to carry out his current assignment successfully and return to Atlantis as soon as possible." Teyla smiled warmly, and Rodney couldn't help returning it.

"Thanks, Teyla," Rodney said.

Teyla reached out and squeezed Rodney's hand. "I hope that what you now share with John will also give you the incentive to recover and return to Atlantis quickly."

Rodney could feel his cheeks burning again. "Carson did tell you."

"No," Ronon said. "Elizabeth did."

_Oh, great_, Rodney thought. _Now they also think I'm cuckoo_. Then something even more alarming occurred to him. "Elizabeth doesn't know about, uh, me and Sheppard, does she...?"

Teyla regarded him with a distinct air of disapproval. "No, of course not. I would never betray such a confidence."

Ronon slapped Rodney on the back. "I wouldn't either, buddy."

Rodney stumbled slightly, but managed to stay on his feet. "No, no, of course you wouldn't. I...I should have known better than to ask."

For a moment, there was an awkward silence, and then Teyla was grabbing Ronon's arm and herding him towards the door. "I am sure Rodney would appreciate some time alone." She tossed a glance over her shoulder. "We will be just outside if you should need us."

Rodney nodded, feeling self-conscious. "This shouldn't take long."

"Take all the time you need," Teyla said.

Once the door closed, Rodney scanned the room, but he couldn't see any sign of the ascended woman.

"Uh, hi," he said. "It's me, Rodney. The guy you knocked up."

Rodney looked around the lab again, but he still couldn't see her. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I'm just going to keep talking in case you can." Rodney walked over to one of the computer consoles and ran his fingers along the surface. "I'm going to be leaving the Pegasus Galaxy for a while, but I will be returning. It's not as if I'm planning to kidnap the baby." He laughed nervously. "I'm afraid that if I stay here, someone might try to take the baby, so I'm going to Earth, to Canada. That's where I'm from."

Rodney gave up any pretense of examining the computer console and gazed up at the ceiling. "I'm not sure if I've said this before during our many one-sided conversations, but I'm flattered that you would choose me. Of course, I'm assuming you had a choice in the matter when maybe you didn't. Well, whether you did or not, it's still an honour to be...to be the mother of your child." As soon as Rodney said that last part, he winced and shook his head in disgust. "'Mother of your child'?" he repeated to himself. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate, but ever since he had discovered he was pregnant, it seemed like a dozen different emotions were jostling inside his head.

Rodney moved away from the computer console and sat down heavily on the stairs. "Okay, I'll admit that I wasn't exactly thrilled when I found out I was pregnant. Terrified, yes. Thrilled? Not so much." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I think I must have known, on an unconscious level, that you did more than heal me after I fell," he said. "Carson thinks that I didn't come to see him when I first started experiencing symptoms because I was depressed about Sheppard leaving, but I think I was trying to avoid the inevitable." Rodney smiled to himself. "I knew that whatever I had was more serious than a stomach bug, but I continued to turn a blind eye to my condition. Even after I was dragged into the infirmary, I still insisted that it was a stomach bug." Rodney rubbed his face wearily. "Considering that my method for dealing with serious problems is denial and avoidance, I'd understand if you starting having second thoughts about me."

Unable to keep still any longer, Rodney sprang up from the stairs. "I'm terrible with children, so I can only imagine how disastrous it would be if I tried to raise one." He gestured helplessly at the ceiling. "I've killed every houseplant I ever had because I always forgot to water them, though I did manage to keep my cat alive. Of course, a cat will always let you know when its hungry -- usually while it's standing on your chest at 4:00 in the morning."

Rodney sighed and began to head towards the door. "You know, my friend Teyla is just outside. I'm sure she would make a wonderful mother and, hey, she's a woman, so that's a plus." Rodney took one last desperate look around the lab. "Uh, did I mention that she's just outside?"

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  



	3. Chapter 3

Carson had almost finished cleaning out the eavestrough when he heard a car pull into the driveway. He didn't even have to look down from the ladder to know that it was Jeannie's battered beige Honda: the clunk of the exhaust was enough to tell him that. All the same, Carson couldn't help glancing over his shoulder as Jeannie emerged from her car. Then the glance turned into a stare as he saw Jamie running across the street towards Jeannie, waving an envelope in his hand.

Carson watched Jeannie and Jamie talk in the driveway for a minute. Then Jamie was pressing the envelope into Jeannie's hand. Jeannie tried to return the envelope, but Jamie shook his head and walked away before Jeannie could give it back. Carson's eyes shifted back to the eavestrough as Jeannie began walking towards the house. He thought he was safe until the water flowing from the hose suddenly subsided to a trickle. That was when he found Jeannie standing beside the ladder.

"Hey, I thought we talked about this," Jeannie said.

Carson gazed at her blankly. "We did?"

Jeannie rolled her eyes. "You're not allowed to become indispensable, remember?"

"I was only cleaning out the eavestrough," Carson said.

"Yes, exactly." Jeannie studied the ladder for a moment then glared up at Carson. "Why isn't anyone holding this? You're a doctor. Don't you know how dangerous this is? What if the ladder tipped over? You could have broken your neck or split open your skull."

Carson almost laughed. Falling off a ladder seemed rather anti-climatic after some of the dangers he'd faced in the Pegasus Galaxy. However, given the stony expression on the face below him, he wasn't about to tell Jeannie that. "How did the interview go?" he asked instead.

Jeannie grimaced and crossed her arms. "You're trying to change the subject."

"Aye," Carson said. "Is it working?"

Jeannie shook her head in exasperation and walked into the house. Carson climbed down the ladder and wound the hose back on its reel. When he joined Jeannie in the kitchen a couple of minutes later, Jeannie was opening a Labatt Blue. Carson's eyes widened when Jeannie drank almost half the bottle in one go.

"Went that well, did it?" Carson asked.

Jeannie raised her beer in a silent toast then drained the rest of the bottle.

"Right. I'll leave you be." Carson was about to head for the living room, but Jeannie grabbed his arm. She pulled an envelope from her purse and handed it to Carson.

"Here," Jeannie said. "Jamie wanted you to have this." Carson opened the envelope and took out two tickets to _The Spy Who Came in from the Canadian Cold: A Casa Loma Murder Mystery_. "Jamie and Claude were supposed to go, but something came up."

Carson raised an eyebrow. "Something?"

Jeannie leaned back against the kitchen counter and sighed. "Jamie didn't go into specifics."

Carson's eyes flicked back to the envelope. "There are two tickets."

"Uh, yes, there are." Jeannie laughed nervously. "Jamie suggested that we both go, but I told him there are lots of other women you could take."

Carson's brow furrowed. "There are? That's news to me. Most of the women I know in Scarborough are married with children."

"You've met some single moms," Jeannie said.

Carson smiled. "Yes, I know. I'm living with one."

Jeannie blushed then turned to start emptying the dishwasher.

"Do you not want to go?" Carson asked.

Jeannie froze, a plate in one hand. "Let's just drop it, okay?"

Carson could see that she was uncomfortable, but he wasn't about the let the subject rest. "Is there someone else you'd rather go with?"

"What?" Jeannie said. "No! In case you hadn't noticed, I don't exactly have a lot of time to date."

"Then what's the problem?" Carson asked.

Jeannie slammed the plate down on the kitchen table. "I don't need you to do me any favours, all right? I'm not going to be your pity date." She whirled back around to the dishwasher, but not before Carson saw the horrified expression on her face.

Carson crossed over to Jeannie slowly. She was still facing the dishwasher, but making no move to put away the dishes. Instead she was gripping the counter with both hands, her shoulders tensed and her back rigid. Carson took a deep breath then drew right up to Jeannie, pressing himself against her. Jeannie jerked but didn't try to push him away. Carson leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "It isn't a pity date. I want to go with you. In fact, I can't think of any woman I'd rather go with, so, if anything, you'd be the one doing _me_ a favour."

Carson felt Jeannie shiver, and her breath hitched when she said, "I might have to work that night."

"You could switch shifts with someone. You do that with Trish all the time." Carson blew softly on Jeannie's neck, watching strands of golden hair flutter. He grinned when she gasped.

"Uh, yeah, that might work." Jeannie turned around and gazed up at Carson, her blue eyes huge and unblinking. Carson was just raising his hand to her cheek when the moment was shattered.

"Carson!" Rodney shouted from the basement stairs. "Carson!"

"God dammit, Rodney," Jeannie hissed as she and Carson broke apart.

Carson sighed heavily as Rodney barrelled into the kitchen. "What is it?" he asked.

"She kicked me! The little brat kicked me!" Rodney had a hand clasped to his belly and was glaring down resentfully.

Carson smiled and shook his head. "Rodney, that's normal. It's a good thing."

Rodney was outraged. "A good thing? For whom? Not me!"

"Kicking is part of the baby's natural development," Carson said. "As the baby grows, she'll become more and more active."

"You mean she's going to kick me again?" Rodney sounded appalled.

"I hate to break it to you, but the baby's going to keep kicking you until she's born," Jeannie said. "Probably after she's born too."

Rodney's mouth fell open and he looked down again. Carson realized that Rodney's hand was still pressed against his belly. Jeannie obviously noticed as well because she placed her hand over his and squeezed it gently.

"You'll get used to it," Jeannie said. "It would be a lot worse if she wasn't kicking. Believe me."

"If you say so," Rodney grumbled. Then his eyes widened as the baby kicked him again.

Jeannie grinned and patted Rodney's hand. "Ah, she's just saying hi to her mommy."

Carson expected Rodney to groan in disgust, so he was surprised when Rodney smiled and his expression grew softer. "Oh, hi," Rodney said, gazing down at his belly.

Jeannie glanced at Carson in amusement, and Carson fought to keep a straight face.

"Is there any other way she can communicate with me?" Rodney asked, his eyes fastened on his belly.

"Andrew used to punch me in the bladder during my third trimester," Jeannie said. "If you're lucky, maybe the baby will do that to you."

Rodney's hand dropped from his belly as if it had been scalded and he clutched the kitchen table. Carson couldn't be sure, but he suspected that the kitchen table was the only thing keeping Rodney up.

Jeannie stared at her brother. "Uh, Rodney, are you okay?"

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
"Are you sure you're all right?" Sheppard asked. He had insisted on escorting Rodney from the infirmary after their return from Creseda and was now hovering just inside the door of Rodney's quarters.

Rodney dismissed Sheppard's concern with a flick of his hand. "Yes, yes, I'm fine." When Sheppard still didn't seem convinced, Rodney rolled his eyes. "Nothing showed up on the MRI. The scans were clear. You were there when Carson gave his diagnosis. What else do you want?"

Rodney assumed that Sheppard would come up with a snappy comeback or evade the question altogether. What he wasn't expecting was for Sheppard to place his hands on his hips and study him through narrowed eyes.

"What?" Rodney asked, wringing his hands nervously.

"You kissed me," Sheppard blurted out.

Rodney blushed but nodded all the same. "Yes. Yes, I did." When Sheppard just stared at him, Rodney lost his nerve and looked away. "Umm...sorry?"

"Are you sorry?" Sheppard asked.

Rodney took a deep breath then dared to meet Sheppard's eyes. "To be perfectly honest...no," Rodney said. "No, I'm not."

Sheppard took a step forward. "Maybe it was because of the concussion."

McKay frowned. "I don't have a concussion. Carson told you--"

"Yeah, okay, I remember." Sheppard ran a hand across his face. "Shock?" he suggested next.

McKay thought about it for a moment. "No, I don't think so," he said.

Sheppard bridged the remaining distance between them. "So it wasn't a joke?"

"A joke?" Rodney asked, sounding confused. "A joke as in 'Wouldn't it be hilarious if I kissed my best friend?' Just how sick do you think I am?"

Sheppard shook his head frantically. "No, no, what I meant to say was were you serious? Were you serious when you...when you kissed me?"

Rodney glared at him. "What do you take me for? Some kind of slutty kisser?"

"Rodney--"

"No, I want to know," Rodney said. "Do you think that I'm promiscuous, that I go around kissing people indiscriminately?"

Sheppard raised his hands defensively. "No! Look, I wasn't calling your virtue into question."

"Oh, really? It certainly sounded that way to me!" Rodney crossed his arms. "Do you actually have a valid reason for still being here, or were you just planning to waste my time spouting out wild accusations?"

Sheppard smirked, raising an eyebrow. Then he grabbed two fistfuls of Rodney's t-shirt and pulled Rodney against him. Before Rodney could even think of protesting, Sheppard pressed his mouth against Rodney's lips and kissed him hard. When Sheppard pulled away, Rodney was wide-eyed and breathless.

"Okay, that works for me," Rodney said and he kissed Sheppard back.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
"No. Absolutely not." Jeannie was backing away, placing the coffee table between herself and her neighbour. Jamie was holding out a pastel blue fifties gown and kept advancing towards Jeannie.

"It's a beautiful dress," Carson said from the couch. "I'm sure you'll look lovely in it."

Jeannie shot him a dirty look. "I'm not wearing it. It's all pouffy and-and look at that waist! I can't fit into that!"

Jamie rolled his eyes. "The waist looks tiny because of the corset and bouffant skirt."

Jeannie's glare grew more hostile. "Corset and bouffant skirt? What are you trying to do? Suffocate _and_ drown me?"

Jamie gasped in outrage and then stroked the dress as if to comfort it. "I'll have you know that this was the height of fashion in 1958, missy! I had to pull a lot of strings to find a dress that would fit you and the time period!"

Jeannie raised her chin in a gesture of defiance, but Carson could see that her resolve was crumbling. "What kind of strings?" she asked.

"Nothing you need to worry about, sweetie," Jamie said. "The only thing I want you to worry about is having a wonderful time tonight." As if unable to resist its allure, Jamie ran his fingers along the net tulle of the skirt. "With this baby, you'll be the belle of the ball."

Jeannie's eyes widened. "I thought it was supposed to be a murder mystery. It says 'murder mystery' on the tickets. There was no mention of any ball."

Tutting softly, Jamie handed the dress to Carson and walked around the coffee table to wrap an arm around Jeannie's shoulders. "Breathe, honey. It's just a figure of speech. There's no ball of any kind."

"Well, that's good. I'd be really pissed if there was." Jeannie eyed the dress as if it might lunge off Carson's lap and attack her. "Are you sure you and Claude can't go?" she asked.

"Quite sure. Claude's in Pointe-Claire attending his godson's christening, so we definitely can't go." Jamie gazed longingly at the dress and sighed. "And I so wanted to wear a fifties ballerina length strapless gown with lace and net tulle."

Jeannie snorted. "If you wore this dress, you wouldn't be the belle of the ball: you'd be the queen!" She slipped out from under Jamie's arm and took the article in question from Carson. "Other people are going to be dressing up too, right?"

Carson raised a hand. "I'll be wearing a suit," he said.

Jeannie wasn't amused. "I meant in _costume_."

"Of course people will be wearing costumes," Jamie said. "That's the whole point."

Carson eyed Jamie skeptically. "I thought the point was solving a mystery."

Jamie shrugged. "Sure. There's that too."

"The murder mystery was Claude's idea, wasn't it?" Jeannie asked.

"Maybe." Jamie smiled sheepishly and scuffed the carpet with his big toe.

Carson glanced at the dress in Jeannie's hands. "Costumes aside, what is this _Spy Who Came in from the Canadian Cold_ mystery about? A spy trapped in the Canadian wilderness?"

Jamie burst out laughing then covered his mouth when Carson stared at him in confusion. "Oh, sweetie, the 'Canadian Cold' refers to the cold war in Canada."

Carson's confusion increased. "There was a Canadian cold war?"

"Uh, no, not exactly." Jamie plopped down on the couch beside Carson. "According to the website, the murder mystery takes place shortly after Canada and the States form NORAD," he said. "A Canadian scientist working on the project has discovered strange readings over St. John's and suspects that it might be some kind of Soviet satellite. He's about to present his findings to an American general when he's viciously murdered." Jamie looked around, as if checking to see if anyone was eavesdropping, then lowered his voice. "Who dunnit? Was it the spy who planned to steal the information, and, if so, is the spy still among you? Is the spy one of the guests?"

"Wait a minute." Jeannie sank down in the armchair with the dress. "The scientist thinks he's found a Soviet satellite? In 1958?"

Jamie crossed his arms. "Well, they had Sputnik, didn't they?"

"Yeah, because Sputnik was _just_ like a Soviet satellite," Jeannie said.

Jamie gritted his teeth. "Okay, so maybe the writer took some artistic licence? Is that so bad?" He turned to Carson. "Do you think it's bad?"

Carson opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "I don't believe it," he said. "I'm going to a murder mystery involving NORAD."

Jamie slapped Carson on the back. "Pretty cool, eh?"

Carson stared at Jamie for an instant then shook his head. "I _work_ for bloody NORAD."

Jamie stared at him incredulously. "You work for NORAD? But I thought you were a doctor."

"I am," Carson said. "And I don't technically work for NORAD. They...they just play a big role in what I do."

"As a doctor?" Jamie asked.

Carson nodded, looking nervously at Jeannie. "Uh, yes."

Jamie tilted his head, studying Carson closely, and Carson wondered what on Earth, or the Pegasus Galaxy, had possessed him to share this rather sensitive piece of information with Jamie. Judging by the looks Jeannie was shooting him, she was asking herself the same question.

"Hey," Jamie said, "does Rodney work for NORAD too? Is that how you met him?" He snapped his fingers and pointed excitedly at Carson. "It is, isn't it? Oh, were you two working on some kind of top secret project involving aliens?"

Carson's jaw fell open. "Uh..."

Jeannie leapt out of the armchair as if she'd been bitten. "Wow. Would you look at the time? I'd better start getting ready." She swung the dress in front of her the same way a hypnotist might dangle a watch, and Jamie's eyes were instantly glued to it. A second later he was off the couch and rushing towards Jeannie.

"You have to let me do your hair! I was thinking of a bun or maybe even a French twist." Jamie reached out to touch a strand of Jeannie's hair, but Jeannie jerked away from him.

"No," Jeannie said. "I'm wearing the damn dress. Be happy with that."

Jamie pouted, clearly not happy at all. "You have to let me do your hair. You can't leave it down with a dress like that."

Jeannie shrugged. "Fine. I'll stick it in a pony-tail."

Jamie winced. "I would have brought over a pair of saddle shoes and a poodle skirt if I'd known you were going to do _that_."

"Look," Jeannie said, "if you really want to play hairdresser, why don't you just grab Britney? She's got beautiful hair."

"Hello! Tomboy! She won't let me near her hair either. She backs away whenever she sees me with a brush." Jamie's shoulders slumped and he looked so pathetic, that Carson was about to offer up his own hair, or search for someone who would. Then Jeannie sighed and finally relented.

"Come on, then," she said. "I'm probably going to need help with the dress anyway."

Jamie flashed Carson a grin before following Jeannie from the living room. Carson sank back and closed his eyes. He still couldn't believe that he'd told Jamie about his connection to NORAD and almost let a very important secret slip. It was just so easy to trust and confide in Jamie, that Carson had barely given it a second thought. Carson wondered if Rodney shared the same weakness when it came to Jamie and whether he'd ever been tempted to share his secret about the baby. Then Carson remembered the lengths Rodney had gone to when hiding the truth from not only the military but his closest friends. If Jamie learned the secret from anyone, it wouldn't be Rodney -- not while he was holed up in the basement, anyway.

"Hi, Carson."

Carson's eyes flew open and he was shocked to find Rodney standing in front of him. "What are you doing here?" he hissed.

Rodney held up a snack bar with one hand and patted his belly with the other. "She's hungry," he said. Then, to Carson's horror, Rodney sat down on the couch beside him and began tearing the wrapper off the snack bar.

"What are you doing out of the basement?" Carson asked again, just managing to keep the hysteria out of his voice.

Rodney stared at Carson for a moment before speaking to him in slow, carefully enunciated words. "I already told you. She's hungry. I'm eating a snack."

"But Jamie's still here!" Carson whispered, waving frantically at the hall outside the living room.

Rodney shrugged. "Yeah? So?"

"So?" Carson gestured wildly at Rodney's belly. "Well, look at you!"

"Oh, that," Rodney said. "Jamie already asked me about it a couple of weeks ago." He took a bite of his snack bar, and Carson waited impatiently for him to chew and swallow. "He wanted to know if I had a teratoma, like this guy on _Grey's Anatomy_, so I said yes and just went with it."

Carson groaned and put his head in his hands.

"What?" Rodney said. "I knew he wasn't stupid enough to fall for that exploding tumour story I fed Chris."

Carson lifted his head from his hands. "_No one_ is stupid enough to fall for that exploding tumour story you fed Chris."

Rodney grimaced. "Yeah, I'm not sure if that should make me feel better about the world in general or lament Jeannie's appalling taste in men." He took another bite of his snack bar, glancing towards Jeannie's room thoughtfully as he chewed. Then he turned to Carson, beaming. "Of course, now that she's going out with you, her taste is obviously improving."

Carson almost choked, even though he wasn't the one eating. "We're not 'going out'. I'm just acting as her escort this evening."

"Oh," Rodney said, "is _that_ what they're calling it nowadays?" Although Carson could tell that Rodney was just teasing him, he still whacked him with a cushion. "Hey, I'm cool with it, but, then, I'd probably be cool with anyone who _isn't_ Chris."

Carson lowered the cushion. "Uh, thanks. I think."

Rodney nodded magnanimously. "Of course, being a medical doctor, you're hopelessly beneath her. Still, you're a good friend -- an exceptionally good friend -- and I trust you."

Carson cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, thank you, Rodney. That means a lot."

Rodney nodded again and quickly patted Carson's knee. "You're welcome," he said. "And I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but, as her brother, I've got to say it."

Carson gazed at him curiously. "What is it, Rodney?"

Rodney stuffed the remainder of the snack bar in his mouth before saying, "Ivyoo hurhur all kilyoo."

"I understand," Carson said.

Rodney swallowed. "I mean it. I know I'm pregnant, but I could totally take you. I've trained with Ronon _and_ Teyla."

Carson smiled at him gently. "Of course you could. And I'm sure the added weight would give you an even greater advantage."

Rodney glared at Carson suspiciously then reached for the TV remote. They had watched about 20 minutes of infomercials when Jamie walked into the living room. He stood beside the coffee table with an expectant air. When Carson and Rodney stared at him blankly, Jamie's head swivelled around sharply.

"I thought she was right behind me," he mumbled. Then, raising his voice, he said, "Jeannie, get out here!" When Jeannie didn't instantly appear, Jamie put a hand on his hip and stamped his foot. "Jeannie McKay, if you don't get out here this minute, I'm going to tell Carson and Rodney what you did at the neighbourhood barbecue last summer when you had too much to drink!"

A few seconds later, Jeannie stomped into the living room. Carson and Rodney stared at her, transfixed.

With her pastel blue dress, her hair swept into a bun, and her face made up, Jeannie looked like an entirely different person. However, as Jeannie smacked both him and Rodney on the forehead, Carson knew she hadn't changed _that_ much.

"It's just a dress," Jeannie said. "Get over it."

Jamie coughed loudly. "It's not just a dress: it's hair and make-up too."

Carson shook his head slowly, still in a trance. "No, it's none of that," he said. "It's Jeannie. It's all Jeannie."

Jeannie blushed and looked down almost shyly. "Thanks."

"We should take a picture," Rodney said. Jeannie's head jerked up in surprise. "What? You look nice. We should take a picture for posterity...or something."

Jamie immediately headed for the front hall. "He's absolutely right. I'll go grab my camera. Carson, you should get changed so you can be in the pictures too."

"Uh, did you just say 'pictures'? Plural?" Jeannie asked, but Jamie was already stepping out the door and walking down the driveway. Carson squeezed Jeannie's hand and went to get changed.

When Carson returned to the living room in a navy blue suit, white dress shirt and tie, Andrew and Britney had joined Rodney on the couch, and Jamie was fiddling with a digital camera.

Jamie whistled and gave Carson a thumbs up as soon as he saw him. Then he shoved Carson towards Jeannie and said, "It's paparazzi time, kids. Smile and look sexy." Carson and Jeannie both grimaced but shuffled over to stand in front of the camera. "Come on. Stand closer together. Yeah, that's good. Carson, put your arm around Jeannie's shoulder, and, Jeannie, wrap your arm around Carson's waist."

"This feels like the prom," Jeannie grumbled as they maneuvered into position.

"Only this time you have a date," Rodney piped up with a grin.

Jeannie scowled at him. "At least I went to my prom, Geek Boy."

"All right, children, break it up. You're disturbing my concentration." Jamie stared intensely into the camera's rear screen for a moment then started snapping pictures. By Carson's estimate, the photo session lasted for almost half an hour, though he quickly lost track of the number of poses they struck or how many pictures Jamie took. Even Andrew and Britney took a turn in front of the camera. Carson was relieved when Jamie didn't insist that Rodney participate. Maybe it was the nervous glances Rodney kept casting at his belly, but Jamie obviously didn't need to be told that Rodney would refuse to be photographed.

When Jamie finally set down his camera, Jeannie seized Carson's arm and herded him to the door.

"But we don't need to leave for at least an hour, surely," Carson said.

"I don't care," Jeannie whispered. "Who knows what Jamie might make us do next." Her grip on his sleeve tightened. "We'll go grab a coffee or something."

They managed to flee the house without too much trouble. Although Jamie claimed they were leaving early because they couldn't wait to start their date, he seemed happy enough to see them off. Maybe a little _too_ happy.

Jamie had taken a lot of interest in their date -- the kind of interest a matchmaker might take. Of course, Jamie was a matchmaker in a sense, as he had offered them the tickets in the first place. Still, Carson couldn't help thinking that there was more to it than that. Then, as they passed the house across the street in Jeannie's Honda, Carson caught sight of a figure in the window and had his answer.

Jamie and Claude had never intended to go to the murder mystery: the tickets had been for him and Jeannie all along. However, as Jeannie was much too proud to accept such a gift, Jamie had pretended to give the tickets away because he and Claude could no longer go themselves. Carson suspected that even the christening in Quebec was fictional considering that Claude had never left Scarborough or even his house.

Carson studied Jeannie out of the corner of his eye. She was focused on the road, and Carson was pretty sure she hadn't seen Claude in the window. He certainly wasn't planning to enlighten her: one murder was more than enough for one date.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
While being pressed against the wall wasn't doing much for his back, Rodney's libido didn't complain when Sheppard started nibbling on his neck.

"Do-do you still think this is a joke?" Rodney gasped, his eyes sliding shut.

Sheppard removed one hand from Rodney's hips and smacked him on the side of the head. Then he leaned in even closer and started sucking on Rodney's earlobe. Rodney shuddered and thrust his hips, grinding against Sheppard's groin. Sheppard moaned and bit down on Rodney's earlobe.

"Bed," Rodney said. "I have a bed."

Sheppard released Rodney's ear and turned his attention back to Rodney's neck, licking the swath of skin along the jugular. "A bed is good. I like beds."

In their haste to reach their destination, they knocked the picture of Rodney's cat off the bedside table. Although Rodney heard glass breaking, he barely gave it a second thought. Sheppard was lying on top of him, pushing him into the mattress. His fingers were in Rodney's hair, and his tongue was plunging inside Rodney's mouth. Rodney's hands scrambled for Sheppard's t-shirt, seeking warm bare skin. Working their way under the black cloth, Rodney's hands stroked Sheppard's back. Then they wandered further south to cup Sheppard's ass.

Sheppard broke the kiss and stared down at Rodney. He was breathless and his eyes held a wild, almost feral, look that both thrilled and frightened Rodney. When Sheppard sat up, dislodging Rodney's hands, Rodney felt his heart beat faster and he didn't know if it was because he was afraid Sheppard was about to end this encounter, or because he suspected that they were just getting started. Then Sheppard purposely settled back against Rodney's erection, and Rodney knew it was the latter.

"Take off your shirt." Sheppard's voice sounded hoarse, but to Rodney's ears there was no question that this was a command. As Rodney was lying down, he was only able to push his t-shirt over his chest and poke his head through the hole at the neck, before he had to sit up to wriggle his arms out of the sleeves. "You're such a tease, McKay," Sheppard said, but he reached out to help remove the t-shirt, tossing the garment over his shoulder once Rodney was free.

Rodney lowered himself back down on the mattress and gazed up at Sheppard expectantly. When Sheppard just sat there and studied Rodney's chest, Rodney grew nervous under the scrutiny. "Uh, what are you planning to do next?" Rodney asked.

Sheppard tilted his head, as if considering the question. "I don't know," he said. "What do _you_ think I should do?"

"Me?" Rodney squeaked. "Why are you asking me? You're the one on top."

"That doesn't mean I have to call the shots. Besides, who's to say I'll be _staying_ on top?" Sheppard rand a hand down Rodney's torso, tangling his fingers in the hair on Rodney's chest.

"That," Rodney said. "I like that. Keep running your fingers through my manly chest hair."

A snort of laughter escaped from Sheppard's lips before he could smother it, and he raised his hands apologetically when Rodney glared at him. "I'm sorry, Rodney, but I was caught off guard by your colourful use of adjectives."

Rodney frowned peevishly. "It was just the one adjective and there was nothing colourful about it. My chest hair _is_ manly."

Sheppard bit his lip and nodded. "Of course it is." He splayed his palms across Rodney's chest, and Rodney squirmed when Sheppard's little finger brushed a nipple. "Oh, you like that, do you?" Sheppard pinched the same nipple between his thumb and index finger and rolled it gently. Rodney drew in a sharp breath and almost jerked upright.

"Y-yes," Rodney said. "It's very--" His voice broke off into a moan as Sheppard leaned across him and latched on to the other nipple with his teeth. Rodney threaded his fingers through Sheppard's hair and arched his back when Sheppard bit down. Rodney seized Sheppard's t-shirt with his free hand and tried to yank it off without much success. Then Sheppard sat up and, grinning down at Rodney, he pulled off his shirt.

"Is that better?" Sheppard asked.

Rodney stretched out his hand, but stopped just short of touching Sheppard. "I take it back. My chest isn't manly -- not compared to yours."

Sheppard caught Rodney's hands before they could retreat and placed them on his chest. "This isn't a competition, Rodney. Relax." He smiled when Rodney's fingers curled into his chest hair. "There you go," he said.

"I can do better." Rodney ran his hands down Sheppard's chest and headed straight for his fly. This time, Rodney didn't hesitate to make contact. As soon as he unzipped Sheppard's fly, he was reaching inside Sheppard's briefs and wrapping his fingers around Sheppard's cock.

Sheppard gasped and thrust his hips. "I think 'better' is an understatement."

Rodney started tugging at Sheppard's pants. "Off, off, off."

Sheppard nodded hazily. "Yeah. Good idea." He climbed off Rodney's legs and stood.

Rodney sat up in alarm. "I meant your pants, not you!"

"I know, but I can't get my pants off unless I get off you." Sheppard bent over to untie his boots. When he straightened, it was to find Rodney sitting on the bed, watching him intensely. "You know, you're welcome to join me."

"In a minute," Rodney said. If Sheppard was stripping off all his clothes, Rodney didn't want to miss a second of it.

Sheppard shook his head. "Okaaay." He grabbed a hold of the pants Rodney had managed to shove part way down his hips and shimmied out of them, dragging his briefs down at the same time.

Rodney's eyes were now glued to Sheppard's thighs and the erect penis that jutted out stiffly from a mass of dark hair. It wasn't quite as long as Rodney had imagined it would be, but he was by no means disappointed. "Come here," he whispered.

Sheppard smiled though the expression in his eyes was serious as he moved towards the bed. Rodney thought that Sheppard resembled a black panther, all dark and lean with those long agile limbs. But if Sheppard was the panther that meant Rodney was the prey. Maybe that's why Rodney was surprised when, instead of pouncing on him, Sheppard slinked to the foot of the bed, took one of Rodney's ankles and tugged at the laces on his shoes. Once Rodney's feet were bare, Sheppard was on the mattress, stalking his quarry.

Rodney swallowed nervously as Sheppard crept up his body on all fours. When Sheppard was directly above Rodney, he bent his head and kissed him, his tongue diving into Rodney's mouth. Rodney groaned at the intrusion and gripped Sheppard's bare ass, kneading the smooth mounds that fit so nicely in his hands. Rodney could feel Sheppard's hard length between them as Sheppard's erect penis poked his stomach. Unable to resist the temptation, Rodney reached down to stroke Sheppard's cock.

Sheppard moaned into the kiss, almost shoving his tongue down Rodney's throat. But then he was withdrawing his tongue, licking and nibbling his way down Rodney's neck and chest. Rodney was forced to let go of Sheppard's cock as Sheppard began to slither even further down. When Sheppard's hands reached for Rodney's fly, Rodney took a deep breath and held it as Sheppard slid his pants and boxers down his legs. Rodney was glad he was lying on his back, as it would make his stomach seem less flabby. He couldn't help blushing when Sheppard gave him an appraising look.

"Damn," Sheppard said. "For my sake, I'm glad it's not a competition." He trailed both hands down Rodney's thighs, and Rodney had to bite his lip to keep from whimpering. But Rodney couldn't hold back a cry when Sheppard held his hips down on the mattress and swallowed his cock.

As Sheppard lathed Rodney's shaft with his tongue, Rodney fisted the sheets on the bed and began to breathe heavily. He was writhing when Sheppard rubbed and squeezed his testicles. All it took was two fingers circling his anus for Rodney to throw back his head and shout his release.

As Rodney lay spent on the bed, he was only vaguely aware of Sheppard climbing back on top of him. It wasn't until he felt Sheppard's cock jab his pelvis a couple of times that he realized Sheppard was jerking off against him. While frottage was all fine and good, Rodney knew, once again, that he could do better. He enveloped Sheppard's cock in his hand, and Sheppard made what sounded like a grateful sob. Rodney tightened his grip and began to stroke Sheppard's cock from base to tip. He watched avidly as Sheppard whimpered and began to thrust faster. Sheppard's eyes were glazed and his face was flushed and sweaty. His mouth was open and he was panting harshly. Rodney's grip grew even tighter and he picked up the pace.

When Sheppard came, his eyes went wide and his whole body froze. Then his hips were jerking wildly and he was crying out as he came. Sheppard collapsed across Rodney, his body still shaking, and Rodney pulled him into his arms, caressing his trembling shoulders.

"Wow," Rodney said. "That was really..." He had been about to use the word "incredible," but lost his courage when Sheppard raised his head to meet his eyes. "It was good, wasn't it? I mean, you thought it was good."

Sheppard kissed him deeply. "Yes, Rodney, it was good." He mussed up Rodney's hair playfully and rolled on his back in a lazy sprawl. When Sheppard folded an arm behind his head, Rodney thought he had never seen him looking so relaxed. All he needed was a cigarette dangling from his fingers to complete the picture. Rodney couldn't fight it. He threw an arm around Sheppard's waist and snuggled against his chest. Sheppard only tensed for a second, but Rodney noticed.

"Is this okay?" Rodney asked.

"Yeah, sure," Sheppard said. "You just surprised me, that's all." He took the arm that was behind his head and wrapped it around Rodney's shoulders.

"Can you stay?" Rodney asked.

Sheppard tensed again. "For a few more minutes," he said, "and then I really should get back to work. Unlike some people, I wasn't given the rest of the day off."

Rodney grimaced against Sheppard's chest. "I told Carson I was okay. I don't know why he didn't believe me."

Sheppard laughed, his breath ruffling Rodney's hair. "Yeah, I don't know either. I'm sure it had nothing to do with those hallucinations you were having back on Creseda."

Rodney pinched Sheppard in his side. "They _weren't_ hallucinations."

Sheppard patted Rodney's back. "If you say so, Rodney."

Although he knew Sheppard probably couldn't see it, Rodney rolled his eyes anyway. Then, knowing this wasn't an argument he was likely to win any time soon, he decided to return to the original topic of their conversation. "You could radio Elizabeth and ask for the rest of the day off, you know."

"Oh, I could, could I?" Sheppard asked. "And what excuse would I give her?"

"You could tell Elizabeth that something came up," Rodney said, dragging a finger across Sheppard's flaccid cock, "and it would be the literal truth for once."

Sheppard took Rodney's hand and placed it back in its previous position. "Go to sleep, Rodney."

"But--" Rodney said.

Sheppard pressed a finger to Rodney's lips. "Sleep."

"Okay." Rodney closed his eyes and held Sheppard a little more tightly.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
"Well, I certainly didn't see that coming," Jeannie said.

"You mean the Canadian scientist faking his own murder and turning out to be a double agent?" Carson asked.

"No, you performing the Highland fling to prove to Inspector MacDonald that you really were Scottish and not faking the accent." Jeannie laughed when Carson blushed, but then hooked her arm through his when they rose from their table and made their way out of the library. "Of course, I knew all along about the Canadian scientist," she added with a grin.

"Oh, be off with you," Carson said, smiling himself.

They were walking down Peacock Alley, and Carson scanned the different oil paintings as they passed. Jeannie seemed equally impressed by their surroundings, reaching out to touch the oak wall beside her. In the Great Hall, they both gazed up at the iron wrought chandeliers suspended from the high ceiling and the colourful flags that stood out from the walls like medieval standards. They remained there for a few minutes, taking a second look at the fireplace and Wurlitzer organ. When they left the Great Hall, they ended up in the stone portico outside, as if by mutual agreement. Carson leaned against a column, while Jeannie sat on the railing, her bouffant skirt billowing around her.

"Did you have a good time?" Carson asked.

"Yeah, it was fun. It's been a while since I've gone out on a...Well, since I've gone out anywhere." Jeannie smiled ruefully then crossed her arms, not quite able to hide a shiver.

"You're cold." It was late June, but it was still a cool evening. Carson took off his jacket and draped it over Jeannie's shoulders, his hands lingering on the sleeves. "I would very much like to kiss you," he said.

Jeannie rose from the railing. "I would very much like to kiss you too." She tilted her head, leaning towards Carson, and Carson tugged on the jacket, pulling her even closer. Then Carson's arms were sliding around Jeannie's waist, his lips moving against hers.

Jeannie closed her eyes and melted against Carson. As Carson began to suck on her bottom lip, Jeannie opened her mouth and clutched at Carson's shirt. She made a sound between a gasp and a moan when Carson's tongue nudged hers gently. The arms around Jeannie's waist tightened of their own volition. Carson could feel himself growing hard and, for the first time, he _wanted_ to be inside Jeannie's Honda. Unfortunately, Jeannie seemed to have other ideas. Just as their tongues were colliding again, Jeannie pushed against Carson's chest with both hands and ended the kiss.

"I'm sorry," Jeannie said. "I-I can't do this." She was pressed against the nearest column of the portico, and Carson was sure she would drift even further away if she could.

Carson raised his hands slowly and took a step back. "It's all right, luv. I was moving much too quickly. I'm sorry if I've upset you."

"No! No, it's not that." Jeannie sighed and rested her head against the column. "I...I liked what we were doing. A _lot_. But I'm not sure if it's a good idea for us to start something we can't finish. In fact, I know it's not."

Carson stared at Jeannie in confusion. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Jeannie shut her eyes, her hands clenching into fists. "You're not always going to be here, Carson," she said. "It's going to be hard enough to let you go without adding sex to everything."

Carson laid a hand on her arm. "Jeannie--"

Jeannie flinched and jerked away from Carson. "I'm not going through that again. I'm not going to fall-get involved with someone, only to discover that he's left me the next day."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
When Rodney reached across the mattress, he knew Sheppard wouldn't be there. He was never there: no matter how many times Rodney stretched out his hand. Rodney settled for the pillow, clutching it to his chest for a moment before tossing it aside with a snort of disgust.

It was ridiculous. He was pregnant and on the run from the military, and, yet, Sheppard was the subject that seemed to preoccupy his brain the most. When Rodney found himself lying awake in the early hours of the morning because of heartburn, backaches, swollen ankles, and leg cramps, he didn't freak out about Braxton Hicks, pre-eclampsia, or Bell's palsy. He worried about Sheppard. Was Sheppard coping without his team? Had he been hurt or brainwashed by the Ori? Was he okay?

Sheppard would be due back in the Pegasus Galaxy soon, assuming his current assignment hadn't been extended. Rodney wondered if Sheppard had missed him and what his reaction would be when he didn't find his lover in Atlantis. For that matter, Rodney wondered what Sheppard would do if he ever found out his lover was carrying an Ancient woman's baby.

Sheppard had been pretty spooked when Cadman was in Rodney's head, so Rodney could only imagine how Sheppard might handle this piece of news. Then there was the fact that Sheppard worked for the very people Rodney was trying to evade. If Sheppard learned about the baby would he feel compelled to report it?

Rodney sighed and placed a hand on his belly. Fortunately, as long as he remained in hiding, his pregnancy wasn't going to be an issue Sheppard would have to deal with.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Sheppard thought he'd been anxious to return to Atlantis when he had been stationed on Dakara, but now that he was faced with the prospect of staring at the same grey walls for the next several days, he was positively desperate.

During the brief time he'd been assigned to the SGC, he'd felt closed in, almost claustrophobic. He'd become used to standing on balconies that looked over a wide stretch of ocean and seeing tall, graceful spires that touched the sky. Even before Atlantis, he'd had the open white expanse of Antarctica. The SGC was none of these things. It was deep underground, cut off from the four elements. At least last time he'd been stuck at Cheyenne Mountain, he'd been able to go through the Stargate. Now, he didn't even have that.

Sheppard gazed forlornly at the dressings on his abdomen. Dr. Lam had informed him that he would be staying in the infirmary until his hemoglobin level had returned to normal and she was sure the antibiotics had cleared the infection in the wound. She had also told him that he was damn lucky to be alive, and Sheppard wholeheartedly agreed with her assessment.

Kar'tok's dagger had missed Sheppard's liver by barely an inch and, by some minor miracle, all of his other organs were still intact. However, he had lost a lot of blood, and the wound had become infected on the journey from Dakara to the nearest Stargate. The Ori had destroyed the Dakara Stargate before Sheppard had arrived on the planet and, while he'd been thrilled to arrive there in a Ha'tak, he had enjoyed the second painful journey a lot less. Still, the Marines and Jaffa warriors had taken good care of him and had transported him to the SGC as quickly as they could.

He'd miss the men he'd trained, especially the young Jaffa warriors, who he'd quickly grown to respect and admire. Despite the loss of Kallana, the attack on Dakara, and the destruction of the super-weapon, the Jaffa warriors were still determined to fight and wipe out the Ori once and for all. Perhaps that's why Sheppard had been so surprised when Kar'tok, who had seemed so loyal to the Free Jaffa Nation, had turned out not only to believe in Origin but to be acting as a spy for the Ori as well. Even when Sheppard had caught Kar'tok in the act, and found the Jaffa's dagger sticking out of him, he'd still struggled to understand how it was possible. But, then, he'd never been able to understand how anyone could worship the Wraith either.

After everything he'd seen and heard about the Ori, it helped put the Wraith into perspective. Oh, sure, they culled and slaughtered millions, but at least they didn't brainwash their victims or convince them that they were anything but monsters. All the same, a day didn't pass when Sheppard didn't think about the people he'd left back on Atlantis -- his friends in particular.

Sheppard had hated not receiving news from Atlantis, but being on a planet without a working Stargate meant that information only trickled through after long intervals and, even then, it was usually intel directly related to their mission. It also didn't help that they were trying to keep a low profile on Dakara, so as not to attract the Ori's attention, which meant that the SGC had only made contact when it was absolutely necessary. Sheppard had comforted himself with the knowledge that if anything had happened to Atlantis, the SGC would have found a way to send him a message. He had to trust that his friends had managed to take care of themselves. He knew Teyla and Ronon would have looked after Rodney, even if he hadn't asked.

Sheppard wondered how pissed Rodney was about not having heard from him and if Rodney had tried to make contact himself. Had Rodney thought about that last night they'd spent together as many times as Sheppard had?

"You really miss him, don't you?"

Sheppard snapped out of his daze to find Samantha Carter standing beside his bed. "Colonel, I..." He shook his head. "I'm sorry. What?"

Looking amused, Carter took a seat in the chair beside Sheppard's bed. "McKay. You were just thinking about him."

Sheppard's eyes widened. Had Carter somehow acquired psychic abilities from one of the planets she had visited? "Was it that obvious?" Sheppard asked, trying to sound casual and failing miserably.

Carter was smirking now. "You had this crooked little smile on your face."

"Damn," Sheppard muttered. "I must have picked up some of his habits on Atlantis."

"I'd be surprised if you hadn't," Carter said. "McKay has a way of getting past your defences."

Sheppard nodded, not daring to meet Carter's eyes. "Yeah, you can say that again."

"So how is McKay?" Carter asked.

Sheppard looked up from hands. "I wouldn't know. I didn't receive any word from Atlantis while I was on Dakara and I haven't had a chance to contact them since I got here." He shot a glare at Dr. Lam's office then lowered his voice. "First chance I get, I'm going to sneak to the Gate Room and..." He trailed off when he saw the look on Carter's face. "What is it? What's happened?" He tried to rise from the bed, but Carter immediately grabbed his shoulders and kept him pinned down.

"Calm down," Carter said. "It's okay. Nothing bad has happened to Atlantis. Well, at least, I don't think it's bad."

Sheppard's eyes narrowed. "What exactly is it that you don't think is bad?"

Carter released Sheppard's shoulders and plopped back down in the chair with a sigh. "I'm sorry. I thought you knew. Rodney took a leave of absence."

"Oh." Sheppard visibly relaxed. "When?"

"Umm...about three or four months ago," Carter said.

Sheppard raised both eyebrows. "Three or four _months_ ago?"

Carter winced. "I'm sorry. I honestly thought you knew."

Sheppard waved off her apology with an abrupt wave of his hand -- another gesture he had probably picked up from Rodney. "Why did he take a leave of absence? Do you know?"

Carter bit her lip. "No...but I think it might have been for medical reasons. Carson Beckett was with him and, well, Rodney was looking a little green around the gills." At Sheppard's questioning stare, Carter said, "They were leaving the infirmary as I was coming in. I...I had a headache."

Sheppard leaned forward, ignoring the painful twinge in his abdomen. "But you spoke to them. Did they tell you where they were going?"

Carter grimaced. "No, they were surprisingly close-mouthed on the subject. Rodney barely said two words, and the most explanation I received from Dr. Beckett was that they were taking a 'wee holiday'."

Sheppard huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, that sounds like something Carson would say." His gaze shifted to Dr. Lam's office again and he calculated what his chances would be of making a break from the infirmary once Carter was gone. Unfortunately, Carter didn't seem to be going anywhere.

"Look," Carter said, "if you promise to stay put, I'll see what I can do about contacting Atlantis."

Sheppard's face lit up. "You'd do that?"

Carter smiled. "Of course, Colonel, but _only_ if you promise to stay in the infirmary."

"You bet." Sheppard settled back against his pillows, trying to look like the model patient. Carter rolled her eyes, and Sheppard knew she wasn't buying the act when she crossed over to Dr. Lam's office before leaving the infirmary. However, he didn't mind considering the favour she'd be doing him by contacting Atlantis. Sheppard needed to know what had happened to Rodney and wouldn't be happy until he knew that Rodney was okay.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
"--And, then, after the drop pass drill, Coach had us do speed drills, and I had the third best time," Andrew said through a mouthful of chicken couscous.

Jeannie was looking at her son with an indulgent, if weary, expression. "Breathe, Andrew. Please."

Andrew gulped down some water. "Sure, Mom," he said. Then he launched back into his detailed description of hockey camp. "Tomorrow we're going to work on speed drills again, as well as stick handling. Coach says that if we work really hard in the morning, we can have pizza for lunch."

Rodney's head jerked up. "Really? Did he say from where?" he asked. Then his eyes flicked back to his plate when Jeannie and Andrew both glared at him. Rodney had already earned a sharp kick under the table from Carson after saying, "Okay, we get it. You _love_ hockey camp. Can we move on now?"

Much to Carson's satisfaction, Andrew had ignored his uncle at the time. However, it now seemed as if Rodney's latest comment had succeeded in distracting Andrew, as the next words out of his mouth had nothing to do with hockey.

"Uncle Rodney, do you ever think about anything else but food?" Andrew asked.

The hand lifting a fork to Rodney's lips paused. "Yes, as a matter of fact," Rodney said. "Just this morning, I was wondering if Einstein's genius decreased at all after he had kids."

Andrew's brow creased. "Does Einstein play hockey?"

Rodney scowled. "No, of course not."

"So Einstein isn't important, then," Andrew said.

Rodney's jaw dropped. "What? Why you little--"

"Andrew," Carson said, before Rodney could finish his sentence, "did you say you have a game on Friday night?"

Andrew beamed at Carson. "Yeah. Can you come?"

Carson wasn't sure what to say. While he wanted to watch Andrew play, he knew his presence would probably make Jeannie uncomfortable. They had avoided spending any time alone together since that disastrous first date. Feeling torn, Carson looked at Jeannie, who immediately blushed.

"Oh, I'm sure Carson has other things he needs to do," Jeannie said.

"Like what?" Rodney demanded. "The laundry?" He rolled his eyes. "He's not exactly working and it's not as if he has any kind of social life -- not since your date, anyway."

"Rodney," Jeannie growled.

"So are you coming or not?" Andrew asked. He tilted his chin in such an obstinate way that he bore an alarming resemblance to his uncle.

"Uh..." Carson glanced at Jeannie again, but she refused to meet his eyes. Carson felt a sudden surge of anger. If he was going to miss Andrew's hockey game, Jeannie could at least acknowledge him and do more than offer feeble excuses. Deciding to disregard Jeannie's wishes, Carson said, "Of course, I'm coming. I wouldn't miss it for the world." He heard cutlery clatter against a plate and smiled. But, then, he saw Rodney and Andrew exchange a meaningful look and his expression changed. What had that been about?

Jeannie seemed to be wondering the same thing as she studied Andrew and Rodney through narrowed eyes. "What are you two up to?"

"Nothing," Rodney and Andrew both said. However, the side of Rodney's mouth was twitching, and Andrew was trying not to giggle.

Jeannie crossed her arms. "Spill it."

Andrew rose from his chair. "Uh, I have to go do my homework," he said. Then he was racing out of the kitchen.

"It's summer!" Jeannie called after him. "You don't have any homework!"

"It's hockey camp homework!" Andrew shouted from the living room.

"Hockey camp homework? Huh." Jeannie turned to Rodney, who was also trying escape from the kitchen. Unfortunately, with his swollen belly, he couldn't get out of his chair as quickly and easily as Andrew had. "Freeze!" Jeannie said. "You're not going anywhere!"

Halfway out of his chair, Rodney gripped the edge of the table for support. "I really need to go."

Jeannie smiled at him sweetly. "Of course you do."

"No," Rodney said. "I have to _go_. I-I need to pee, Jeannie!"

Jeannie laughed. "Yeah. Nice try."

Rodney groaned. "I'm _serious_."

"So am I," Jeannie said.

"Uh, Jeannie, I'm pretty sure he _is_ serious." Carson could see by Rodney's uncomfortable grimace that he desperately needed to relieve himself. That, taken with Rodney's complete inability to lie, and the fact that Rodney hadn't been to the washroom for at least forty-five minutes, had Carson convinced that Rodney was telling the truth.

"Oh," Jeannie said. Her mouth hung open for an instant then snapped shut. "Then what are you standing around for? Go! I don't want you peeing on my kitchen floor! I just mopped it yesterday!"

Rodney nodded and fled, though his retreat was more of a rapid waddle than a run. Jeannie watched him go with a shake of her head, while Carson leaned back in his chair and waited. It took a few seconds, but then Jeannie was jumping out of her chair and backing away from the kitchen table. Now she would make an excuse to leave as she had done every time they'd found themselves alone over the past couple of weeks.

"Uh, I have to wash my hair," Jeannie said before bolting from the kitchen.

"Oh, come on!" Carson shouted. "That's the oldest excuse in the book!"

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Carson would never admit it to anyone, least of all Andrew, but one of his favourite things about hockey was watching the Zamboni glide slowly around the rink. There was a certain hulking grace about it that he found strangely fascinating. Tonight, it helped distract him from the awkward silence that had lapsed between him and Jeannie. And, as far as distractions went, it was definitely preferable to the freckled kid who was sitting beside him, crunching ketchup chips loudly and licking the red powder off his fingers. Fortunately, the kid finished off his bag of chips by the time the players hit the ice.

After being exposed to NHL hockey, and watching several of Andrew's games and practices, Carson had learned a lot about hockey without really trying. He didn't have to count the pint-sized players to know that there were twelve of them on the ice. He certainly wouldn't have known that each side consisted of a goalie, two defencemen, and three forwards before he'd arrived in Scarborough. Carson scanned the rink eagerly, searching for Andrew, but he didn't think he could see the boy.

"He's still on the bench," Jeannie said. "He'll probably play in the second period." She craned her neck and gazed down at the players benches below, though Carson doubted that she would be able to spot Andrew considering that the boys on each team were wearing helmets and identical jerseys.

Carson found himself leaning forward in his seat during the face-off, even though Andrew wasn't playing. When the referee dropped the puck, there was a loud thwack of hockey sticks and a colourful streak of jerseys as the players scattered over the ice.

The green team took control of the puck before the blue team could steal it. The blue team stopped the green team from scoring, but sent the puck out of bounds. After a second face-off, the blue team claimed the puck, and, by the end of the first period, each team had scored a goal.

In the second period, the blue team intercepted the puck from the green team. The blue team attempted a breaking pass, almost reaching the green team's net, when both the green team's defencemen converged on the puck, sending it flying back into the neutral zone. Andrew reached the puck first and passed it to the blue team's centre. The green team immediately moved to block him, but the centre shot the puck past him and into the net. Jeannie squealed and clutched Carson's arm, thrilled by Andrew's assist. Carson was excited himself, especially when Jeannie's hand lingered on his arm for several seconds.

Carson was still thinking about Jeannie's hand when the face-off began, but it was quickly forgotten when the puck shot across the centre line and into the blue team's defensive zone. The green team's centre made a breakaway for the goal, but his stick crossed the goal crease, so the goal was disallowed. After a face-off in the neutral zone, the puck darted behind the blue team's goal. The green team made it to the puck first and tried to shoot it into the goal, but one of blue team's defencemen blocked it.

The puck flew towards the boards on the left side of the rink. Andrew and the green team's left wing were closest to the boards and they both went for the puck.

Jeannie grabbed Carson's arm again, but this time her nails bit into the skin. The left wing had accidentally hit Andrew with his stick as he made a slap shot, knocking Andrew's feet out from under him and flipping him backwards on to the ice. Jeannie was out of her seat in seconds and heading for the aisle.

Although Carson had left his seat almost as quickly as Jeannie, he was only about halfway down the stairs when Jeannie started squeezing her way past the people sitting in the row behind the players benches. Then she was pushing between two players as she climbed over the bench and pushed through the gate. Carson hurried after her, stepping on one man's foot and tripping over an old lady's purse.

While Carson had no trouble reaching the gate from the players bench, he almost landed face first when he stepped on to the ice. He clutched the gate tightly as he fought to maintain his balance, watching Jeannie as she skidded across the ice. Taking a deep breath, Carson let go of the gate and followed Jeannie at a slower, more clumsy, pace. He couldn't see Andrew because he was surrounded by a knot of players, the referee, and the coach.

"Don't move him," Carson said, pitching his voice so he could be heard above the din on the ice. "Jeannie, make sure they don't move him. He might have a spinal injury."

Jeannie raised a hand to indicate that she'd heard Carson, but she didn't slow down. She had almost made it to her son and nothing was going to stop her now.

When Carson reached Andrew, he could see the boy was unconscious. Jeannie was kneeling over him, speaking to him in a low voice. Andrew wasn't responding at all. Carson landed on the ice with a thud and tugged Jeannie away gently so he could get a better look at Andrew.

"Has anyone called an ambulance?" Carson asked the coach when the man squatted down beside him.

The coach nodded, his eyes fixed on Andrew. "The paramedics should be here in a couple of minutes."

"Good. Thank you." Carson placed a hand on Jeannie's shoulder. "Just a couple more minutes, luv. Just hold on for a couple more minutes."

Jeannie started stroking Andrew's cheek. "What's wrong with him? Does he have a concussion?"

"Aye," Carson said. "I'm pretty sure he does."

Jeannie froze, her hand trembling slightly. "You said we shouldn't move him in case he has a spinal injury. Do you think he does?"

Carson was about to tell Jeannie that the decision not to move Andrew had just been a precaution when the paramedics arrived, sliding across the ice with a backboard. Carson explained to them that he was a doctor and described the symptoms he'd found during his brief examination. Then he cradled Andrew's head carefully as the paramedics placed him on the backboard. Andrew moaned as the paramedics lifted the backboard off the ice, and Carson grabbed Jeannie's arm when she tried to go to her son.

"Give them room to work," Carson said.

"He's in pain," Jeannie snapped.

"Yes, but that means he's returning to consciousness, which is a good thing." Carson said. He stood, drawing Jeannie to her feet as well.

Jeannie lifted her chin, giving Carson a look of pure defiance. "I'm riding in the ambulance with him."

Carson smiled at the gesture. He thought this was a good thing too. "I'll follow in your car and meet you at the hospital."

Jeannie's eyes widened a bit in surprise. "You don't have to do that."

"Yes, Jeannie, I do." Carson tugged on her arm and they began to move slowly across the ice. Then they both heard a sound that made them turn abruptly. The player who had injured Andrew was trying not to cry and failing miserably. His face was scrunched up and his chest was heaving. The coach had one arm wrapped around the boy's shoulder and was trying to comfort him.

"You go in the ambulance with Andrew," Jeannie said.

Carson's mouth fell open. "But, Jeannie--"

Jeannie walked over to the guilt-ridden boy and pulled him into her arms. "It's okay," she said. "It was an accident. It's not your fault." She rubbed the boy's back through his jersey and held him as he sobbed.

As Carson stared at Jeannie in amazement, he came to a startling realization. He was no longer just attracted to Jeannie: he had fallen in love.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Carson wasn't sure if Jeannie was in a state of shock, or if she was just trying to be stoic, but he wished she would open up to him. At this point, he would happily accept a fit of hysterics if it meant she would stop staring at the wall, muttering the same mantra over and over again. She was really starting to creep him out and, judging by the nervous glances from some of the other people in the waiting room, he wasn't the only one.

Carson touched Jeannie's arm lightly, waiting patiently as she slowly swivelled her head towards him. "Why don't you go for a wee walk?" he asked. "I'm sure you'd like to stretch your legs, maybe get a coffee."

"No," Jeannie said. "They might call us."

Carson sighed in frustration. "Jeannie, you know I'd come and get you if that happened. Now, why don't you take a break?"

Jeannie crossed her arms, fixing her gaze back on the wall. "You can go if you want to."

Carson considered refusing, but then decided it might be better to give Jeannie some space. "Can I get you anything while I'm gone?" he asked.

Jeannie shook her head. "No, I'm fine."

"I very much doubt that," Carson mumbled. He reached for his cell phone as he walked out of the waiting room. Once he'd found an area where cell phone use was permitted, he dialled Jeannie's home number. Rodney picked up on the first ring.

"How is he?" Rodney immediately asked. "Have you heard anything?"

"Nothing yet," Carson said. "Andrew's doctor is waiting for the x-ray results."

Rodney's sigh was loud enough to be heard through the phone. "It's been what? Three hours? Shouldn't they know something by now?"

Carson couldn't help rolling his eyes. "These things take time, Rodney. You've had a concussion before. You of all people should know that."

"Yes, yes, I'm a human pincushion as far as you're concerned," Rodney grumbled, but there was no real malice in his voice. "How's Jeannie holding up?"

Carson wasn't sure how to answer that question, so, in the end, he just went with the truth. "I'm not sure. She isn't talking much and she keeps staring at the wall."

"Huh," Rodney said. "Well, maybe she's still processing the information, though, knowing Jeannie, I wouldn't be surprised if she was trying to bottle it all up inside."

Carson nodded wearily to himself. That certainly sounded like Jeannie. "Rodney, I'm worried about her. I think she might be having some kind of breakdown."

Rodney snorted. "Trust me. If she were having some kind of breakdown, you'd _know_ it."

Carson took a deep breath. "When Jeannie does talk, she keeps saying the same thing over and over again: 'He'll never play hockey again. He'll never play hockey again'." Carson flexed his fingers, as they were gripping the phone too tightly. "When the accident first happened, I told Jeannie that Andrew shouldn't be moved in case he had a spinal injury. I was pretty sure he didn't, but I couldn't afford to take any chances in case he did. What if Jeannie thinks--?"

"Carson," Rodney said, interrupting him, "I think you'll find that 'He'll never play hockey again' actually means 'He'll never _be allowed to_ play hockey again'."

"Oh." Carson hadn't thought of that. "Do you really think so?" he asked.

Rodney made a noise on his end of the phone that sounded remarkably like a laugh. "Well, I know that's what I'd be thinking if it were my kid. Of course, I would never allow my kid near a hockey rink in the first place, but--"

"Thanks, Rodney," Carson said, before his friend could launch into a rant. "I'll let you know when we hear anything." He ended the call and went off in search of coffee. He brought a cup back for Jeannie, even though she'd said she didn't want anything. She accepted it wordlessly, gripping it in both hands. Carson took a sip of his own coffee, studying Jeannie thoughtfully. Then, he opened his mouth and, to his great surprise, found himself telling Jeannie about Scotland and his past.

Carson didn't know why he suddenly felt compelled to bare his soul. As Jeannie wasn't looking at him, Carson couldn't even be sure if she was listening. However, after a few minutes, Jeannie's eyes shifted from the wall to Carson's face and she said, "Your family sounds really nice."

That was all Carson needed. He kept talking. He was just about to launch into a story about his first day at primary school, when Jeannie's name was called. Jeannie rushed from the waiting room, still clutching her coffee.

Dr. Starling ushered Jeannie and Carson into his office. He offered Jeannie a chair, but she shook her head and remained standing, looking worried and tense. Dr. Starling took pity on her and delivered his diagnosis quickly. "Andrew has a mild concussion, but he's going to be fine. The x-rays we took were all normal, there were no problems when we palpitated the back of his neck, and Andrew didn't experience any pain or tenderness when we moved his head and neck."

Jeannie's shoulders slumped visibly in relief and Carson patted her back.

"I would like to keep Andrew here overnight," Dr. Starling said. "He was experiencing some dizziness and nausea earlier and he seemed a little confused when I was asking him questions." He smiled reassuringly at Jeannie. "This isn't unusual for someone who has sustained a concussion, but I'd like to continue to monitor his condition just to be on the safe side."

Jeannie nodded sharply. "Sure. Okay. Can I see him?"

Dr. Starling smiled again. "Of course." He led them out of his office, giving them directions to Andrew's room. After one wrong turn and a quick elevator ride, they found the right floor.

Andrew was sharing a room with a little girl who had curly red hair. Her left leg was in a cast and she was gazing at her parents blearily, as if she'd just woken up from surgery. Andrew, on the other hand, was alert and wide awake. He pushed himself up on one elbow as soon as he spotted Jeannie.

"Mommy," he said, and Jeannie was at his side in an instant.

"It's okay, baby. You're going to be fine." Jeannie smoothed back Andrew's hair and kissed him on the forehead.

Andrew's bottom lip trembled and his dark eyes filled with tears. "I wanna go home. Can I go home now?"

Jeannie bit her lip and looked like she might cry herself. "Soon, sweetie. We'll take you home soon." She brushed away the tears that had started streaming down Andrew's face, kissing him again.

"My head hurts and the doctor keeps asking me stupid questions," Andrew said.

Carson laid a hand on Andrew's shoulder and squeezed it gently. "You hit your head pretty hard, so the doctor needed to ask you some questions to make sure your brain was still working the way it should -- and it is. You obviously have a very hard head." Andrew managed a slight smile, and Carson ruffled his hair. "Dr. Starling will make sure one of the nurses gives you some medicine to make your head feel better, but the best thing you can do right now is go to sleep."

Fresh tears rolled down Andrew's cheeks. "No, I don't want to. I hate it here."

Jeannie reached through the bed's railing and took her son's hand. "It's only going to be for a bit longer, Andrew. I'll get you a present from the gift shop and you can have as much ice cream as you want when you get home."

Andrew sniffed loudly. "Can I have ice cream now?"

Jeannie laughed. "No, but you can have some juice," she said. "Would you like me to read to you? It might help you fall asleep." Andrew nodded then whimpered when it made his head hurt even more. Jeannie winced in sympathy, running a hand over Andrew's brow. "Do you want me to read your favourite?"

"Yeah." Andrew closed his eyes and sank back against his pillows.

Jeannie glanced around the room, as if searching for something. Then her eyes came to rest on the father sitting on the other side of the room, or, rather, the newspaper lying open on his lap.

"Excuse me," Jeannie said. "Are you finished with the sports section?"

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
It was almost 1:00 in the morning by the time they made it home. After Andrew had finally fallen asleep, it had taken the combined efforts of both Carson and Dr. Starling to convince Jeannie to go home to catch forty winks herself. Even then, Carson practically had to drag her from Andrew's room. As they drove home, Carson wondered if it would have been kinder to let Jeannie stay and sit by Andrew's bed. Then, he witnessed Jeannie's struggle to unlock her front door and decided that he and Dr. Starling had made the right call.

As they trudged into the living room, Carson wasn't all that surprised to see Rodney dozing in the armchair. Rodney had become all too accustomed to hanging around the infirmary when a member of his team was wounded or sick. He was hardly likely to break the pattern when his own nephew was in the hospital.

Carson tapped his friend lightly on the shoulder. "Rodney. Rodney, we're home."

Rodney's eyes instantly flew open and he might have sat bolt upright if his belly hadn't been in the way. "I'm awake! I'm awake! How's Andrew? Is Jeannie...?" His voice trailed off as his eyes fell on his sister. "Hey, Jeannie." He attempted to rise from the armchair, only succeeding when Carson grabbed both his hands and tugged. "I called the restaurant and told them you wouldn't be in for a couple of days. Your supervisor was very understanding."

"Thanks," Jeannie murmured.

"Are either of you hungry?" Rodney asked. "I ate what was left of Carson's tuna casserole, but there's a can of Zoodles in the cupboard." He smiled nervously at Jeannie. "Remember that commercial from when we were kids? _Have you ever gone hunting with a bowl and spoon? Get hunting with Libby's Zoodles! Zoo-Zoo-Zoo-Zoo-Zoodles_!"

Unfortunately, the song didn't have the desired effect, unless Rodney's goal was to make Jeannie's face instantly crumple.

"Oh, God," Rodney said. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to...I didn't mean to--" He was cut off when Jeannie started sobbing on his shoulder. Rodney wrapped his arms around his sister and glared at Carson. "You said he was fine."

Carson waved his hands helplessly. "He _is_ fine. This...this must be some kind of delayed reaction."

"Oh." Rodney's expression softened as he gazed down at Jeannie. "Oh, I know all about delayed reactions. I've had a few of those myself." He began stroking Jeannie's hair. "Sometimes there's just too much to hold in and you've got to let it out."

Carson rubbed his face wearily and nodded. "Aye, that's true enough." He glanced at Jeannie. "Perhaps I should make some tea."

Rodney snorted. "I think she's going to need something a lot stronger than tea."

"No," Jeannie said, her voice muffled against Rodney's shoulder. "No, I'm okay." She raised her head, and Rodney reached inside a pocket to hand her a wad of Kleenex. He'd started carrying tissues when he'd discovered the wonderful world of hormones. Jeannie took them eagerly, blowing her nose on one and using another to wipe her face. "I'm sorry," she said. "I don't know why I did that."

Rodney rolled his eyes, handing Jeannie another tissue when she sniffed. "Oh, I don't know. It's not as if your kid's in the hospital or you're emotionally and physically drained."

Jeannie smacked Rodney's arm, but Carson could see that her heart wasn't really in it.

"Go to bed and crash for a few hours," Rodney said.

Jeannie frowned. "But the hospital. What if the hospital--?"

"If the phone rings, I'll answer it." Rodney put a hand on Jeannie's back and began to push her out of the living room.

"But the baby," Jeannie said. "You need to sleep more than I do."

Rodney took Jeannie's hand and laid it on his belly. "Feel that? The baby doesn't want to sleep. The baby wants me to grab a snack and watch some cheesy B movie or an infomercial. The baby would prefer it if Aunty Jeannie went to bed because she knows that her mommy can sleep any time."

Jeannie patted Rodney's belly affectionately. "Well, if that's what the baby wants, I'd better do what she says." Jeannie shuffled out of the living room, giving Carson a tired smile as she passed him.

Rodney waited until Jeannie was out of earshot before grabbing Carson by the shoulders and steering him towards the hall. "Go with her," he said.

"What?" Carson tried to free himself from Rodney's grip, but Rodney was surprisingly strong for a pregnant person.

"I'd feel better if you stayed with her," Rodney said. "I don't think she should be alone right now."

Carson shook his head in exasperation. "Rodney, all that poor woman wants to do right now is sleep."

"That doesn't mean you can't keep her company. She's got a queen-size mattress, so there's plenty of room." Rodney tried to give Carson another shove, but Carson had planted both feet firmly on the carpet. "Look, you're exhausted and you haven't slept in a proper bed in months. I'm just suggesting that you both, uh, snooze together."

Carson raised an eyebrow. "In the same bed. You think we should sleep together in the same bed."

Rodney raised his chin. "Yes. If that's what Jeannie needs, then, yes."

Carson laughed and the sound was bitter to his ears as well as Rodney's. "I'm pretty sure having to share her bed with a man she's barely speaking to is the last thing your sister needs right now." When Rodney opened his mouth to protest, Carson quickly said, "I'll go check on her, see if there's anything she needs, but that's _all_, Rodney."

Rodney's mouth snapped shut and he nodded. "Okay. That's-that's reasonable." He lowered his hands and took a step back.

"Good," Carson said. "Thank you."

"So I'll see you in the morning, then?" Rodney asked.

"Rodney," Carson growled.

"Yes, yes, all right," Rodney grumbled. He turned and began heading for the kitchen, while Carson worked up the courage to go to Jeannie's room.

When Carson reached Jeannie's door, he was surprised to find it open. He knocked on it lightly and then cautiously peeked inside the room. It was dark and Carson couldn't see Jeannie at first. Then he saw her standing in front of the window, lit only by the moon.

"Are you okay?" Carson asked. He walked into the room and stood beside Jeannie. The window was open and a breeze was rustling the curtains.

"The Pegasus Galaxy," Jeannie said. "I guess you can't see it from here, even with a telescope."

"Uh, no. No, you can't. It's too far away." All the same, Carson fixed his gaze on the stars. "I wish you could visit Atlantis. It's absolutely incredible."

"Hmm," Jeannie said. "That's how Rodney described it."

Carson smiled. "Aye, well, Rodney's half-besotted with Atlantis. He knows her better than anyone."

Jeannie turned from the window. "Rodney's going to have to return to Atlantis to have the baby, isn't he?"

Carson hesitated for a second and then nodded. "Aye, it will have to be Atlantis or the SGC. It's just too risky to deliver the baby anywhere else."

"Does Rodney know that?" Jeannie asked.

"God, I hope so," Carson said fervently. "I think he's probably realized he can't have the baby here, but he doesn't want to admit it."

Jeannie looked at the stars again. "Do you really think the US military would take the baby?"

More than anything, Carson wanted to allay Jeannie's fears, but he knew he owed her the truth. "I think there are some people within the military and the government who would very much like to get their hands on Rodney's baby if they ever learned of its existence." Carson sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "If there was a way to guarantee Rodney safe passage to Atlantis, I think he'd be okay. Elizabeth would do everything in her power to keep him and the baby safe. I know she would."

"I hope you're right," Jeannie said. Then she yawned, and Carson remembered why he'd come to her room in the first place.

Carson moved over to the bed and pulled back the covers in one swift motion. "Why don't we finish this discussion later, when we've both had a chance to sleep?"

Jeannie walked over to her dresser. "I need to change into my PJs and brush my teeth first." She grabbed a t-shirt and shorts from one of the drawers and made her way to the bathroom.

Carson flopped down on the mattress and closed his eyes. He didn't mean to doze off and jerked awake when Jeannie tapped him on the shoulder.

"Move over," Jeannie said. "You're hogging the whole mattress."

Carson quickly jumped off the bed. "Sorry! I didn't mean to fall asleep. I was just...just..."

"Resting your eyes?" Jeannie suggested.

Carson nodded eagerly. "Aye, that's it. I was just resting my eyes." He started to inch his way towards the door. "Well, good night, then. Pleasant dreams."

"Where do you think you're going?" Jeannie said.

Carson froze. "Uh..."

"Aren't you going to tuck me in and tell me a bedtime story?" Jeannie asked.

Carson couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw the flash of a grin in the moonlight. "I'll tuck you in, but it's a bit late for a bedtime story."

"Fair enough." Jeannie lay down on the mattress and looked up at Carson expectantly.

As it was unseasonably cool, Carson drew the sheets up to Jeannie's shoulders and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Sleep tight." He was about to leave, but an arm snaked out from under the covers and grabbed his wrist.

"You should stay," Jeannie said. "You need to get some sleep too."

"But--" Carson began.

Jeannie tugged on Carson's arm. "Rodney's watching TV in the living room, so you can't sleep on the couch."

"Jeannie, I'm a doctor: I can sleep through just about anything," Carson said.

"Yeah, well, I doubt 'anything' includes Rodney." Jeannie yanked on Carson's arm again and this time she succeeded in pulling him down. Carson landed half across Jeannie and half across the mattress.

"Well, as I'm here already..." Carson climbed up the mattress and got under the covers. "I hope you don't snore."

Jeannie shot him a dirty look. "Go to sleep, Carson."

Carson hid his smile as he sank happily into his pillow. "Good night, Jeannie," he said.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
When Carson woke up, the sun was streaming through the window and he was mortified to discover that he was spooned up against Jeannie with a hand resting on one of her breasts. Hoping desperately that Jeannie was still asleep, he attempted to extract his hand.

"Whoa," Jeannie said. "What are you doing with that hand?"

Carson felt his cheeks flush. "I'm so sorry. I must have rolled over in my sleep and...I didn't mean it to happen!" He began to pull his hand away, but Jeannie grabbed it.

"You didn't do anything," Jeannie said. "I did. I sort of accidentally put your hand there while you were asleep."

Carson's eyes widened. "Oh! You placed my hand there sort of accidentally, did you?" He broke into a huge grin. "And what else might my hand have sort of accidentally done if I hadn't woken up?"

"I don't know. You woke up." Jeannie tossed him a quick glance over her shoulder, and Carson could see that she was smiling.

"I think I know," Carson said. He ran the pad of his thumb over her nipple, and Jeannie drew in a sharp breath. Growing a bit bolder, Carson began to rub the nipple in a circular motion, causing Jeannie to gasp. The gasp turned into a moan when Carson moved to the other breast, pinched the nipple between his thumb and index fingers, and began to knead it slowly.

"You know," Jeannie said, sounding a little breathless, "if I took off my shirt, you could, uh, do more."

Carson jerked his hand away as if he'd been scalded. "What the hell am I doing? Your son's in the hospital, and I'm-I'm..."

Jeannie turned over on her back. "Andrew's okay. We'll probably be able to pick him up in a couple of hours."

"But I thought you didn't want this, that you didn't want to start something we couldn't finish," Carson said.

"Screw it. I changed my mind." Jeannie reached for the hem of her t-shirt, yanking it over her head. She smirked when she caught Carson gazing, transfixed, at her breasts. "Like what you see?" she asked.

Carson was about to touch her, but then withdrew his hand with a shake of his head. "People turn to sex as a means of comfort during periods of emotional stress and turmoil."

"You sound like a textbook, Carson," Jeannie said. She grabbed the waistband of her shorts, but Carson batted her hands away. Jeannie sighed loudly. "Okay, I freaked out when Andrew got hurt, but I'm _fine_ now. I'm fine because you got me through it. You waited with me in the hospital. You stayed the _whole_ time."

"Jeannie," Carson said, "if you're doing this out of some sense of obligation..."

Jeannie let out a scream and whacked Carson on the chest with her pillow. "No, I'm not doing this out of some sense of obligation, you-you moron!" She sat up and Carson was sure that he'd blown it. That was why he was taken aback when she shoved him down on the mattress and straddled his hips. "I'm doing this because I want to, because _we_ want to. At least, I assume we both want to."

"Oh, yes," Carson breathed, staring up at her breasts. He cupped one in his hand, marvelling at its warmth and softness. "You're so beautiful. So very, very beautiful." He reached for the waistband of Jeannie's shorts and started to drag them down her hips. Jeannie climbed off Carson briefly, so that she could remove her shorts completely. Then she was shoving Carson's shirt off him and unbuttoning his trousers.

"Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've had sex?" Jeannie asked. She had unzipped Carson's fly and was sliding a hand inside the opening.

Carson's hips bucked. "No," he said, "but I think I can imagine." He pulled Jeannie down on top of him and kissed her long and deep. Jeannie moaned and gripped Carson's biceps. Carson tightened his hold on Jeannie, shoving his tongue even further into her mouth. When they broke apart, their eyes were glazed and they were both gasping for air. Jeannie returned her attention to the lower half of Carson's body, practically tearing off his trousers and underwear. Carson was fully erect and squirmed when she caressed his cock.

"I have a condom in my wallet," Carson said.

"Oh, really?" Jeannie said. "Well, we'd better put it to good use, then." She rummaged in the back pocket of Carson's trousers and dug out the wallet. When she had found the condom and ripped it from its package, she rolled it over Carson's penis and straddled his hips again.

Carson's hands trailed lightly up Jeannie's sides and over her stomach, causing her to shiver. Then Carson was flipping them over, so that he was lying on top of Jeannie. He took a nipple in his mouth and sucked it, running his hands over every inch of Jeannie's skin he could find. He could hear Jeannie mewling, could feel her body arching beneath him.

When Carson nudged his cock against Jeannie, she planted both hands on his ass and guided him in. Her breath hitched for a moment when he entered her, but then she was wrapping her legs around Carson's back and raising her pelvis.

Carson tried to be gentle. He really did. But Jeannie kept thrusting her hips and making tiny, inarticulate cries. He couldn't help speeding up his rhythm when the cries grew louder and Jeannie began tossing her head. He drove into her, trying to go as far as he could.

"God, Carson, I love you," Jeannie whispered. Then she tensed and threw back her head, coming with a long, drawn out whine at the back of her throat.

Carson's own release came seconds later. He thrust into Jeannie wildly, riding out the orgasm with a shout. He collapsed on top of Jeannie, panting heavily against her neck. Jeannie stroked his sweaty hair and kissed his temple. Carson felt so blissfully happy and sated, that he had no memory of falling asleep.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
When Carson woke the second time, it was to the sound of knocking. When he glanced at the clock on the bedside table, he was amazed to see that it was almost 9:30. How long had the two of them slept?

The knocking returned and this time Rodney's voice accompanied it. "Jeannie? Carson? The hospital called. You can pick up Andrew any time."

Jeannie sat up, making sure her chest was covered, even though Rodney couldn't see her. "Okay! Thanks! We'll be right out!"

"Take your time," Rodney said. "I'm making pancakes."

Carson and Jeannie exchanged a look and silently mouthed, "Pancakes?" Then Carson asked, "Do you think he knows that we, uh...?"

"Well, you did spend the night in my bed," Jeannie said. "As much as I'd like to believe it, I don't think even Rodney can be _that_ oblivious."

Their suspicions were confirmed when they walked into the kitchen. Rodney was whistling cheerfully to the radio while cleaning off the kitchen counter. There were two mugs of coffee on the table and a platter of pancakes that had been decorated with strawberry jam. Jeannie took one look at the pancakes and began to back slowly out of the kitchen, but Carson grabbed her before she could escape.

"I'm sure they're delicious," Carson whispered.

"They've got hearts and happy faces on them!" Jeannie hissed.

Carson sighed. "Aye, I noticed."

Jeannie clutched his hand. "Carson, I'm frightened."

"So am I," Carson said. He gestured at the table, and they moved cautiously towards it.

Rodney turned around when he heard their chairs scrape across the kitchen floor. "Good morning!" he said.

"Uh, yeah. Good morning." Jeannie grabbed her mug and took a long sip. "Wow. There sure are a lot of pancakes."

"Well, I figured you'd both be really hungry," Rodney said.

Jeannie almost dropped her coffee. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Rodney crossed his arms. "In case you've forgotten, you spent, like, half the night in the hospital with Andrew."

"Oh. Right. Sorry." Jeannie put down her mug and helped herself to two of the pancakes on the platter.

Rodney waited until Jeannie was taking a bite before he asked, "Is there some other reason why you'd be hungry?"

Jeannie started coughing and had to reach for her mug again. Rodney tried to look innocent, but his expression grew smug instead. Carson glared at him, but found it hard to be intimidating when he hadn't been able to stop grinning since he'd gotten out of bed.

After breakfast, Carson and Jeannie left for the hospital. As Jeannie made a right turn at the end of Hellas, she said, "You don't have to stick around the hospital with me. It could take a while."

Carson pretended to pout. "But I want to stay."

Jeannie smiled. "Yes, I know, and that's very sweet, but there's something else I need you to do for me."

"Anything," Carson said.

"Could you pick up some groceries?" Jeannie asked. "I promised Andrew he could have some ice cream and I think we're almost out." She glanced into the rearview mirror as she made another turn. "I'd do it on the way home, but I don't want Andrew to have to sit in the car too long."

"Of course," Carson said. "Is there anything else I should pick up?"

Jeannie thought about it for a moment. "Maybe you could get some ginger ale and...and whatever else a boy with a concussion might need. Oh, and can you pick up some strawberry jam? I think Rodney may have used all ours for his pancake experiment." Jeannie was blushing and Carson had to laugh.

"I'll see what I can do," Carson said.

When they reached the hospital, Carson kissed Jeannie and Jeannie said she would call him when she and Andrew were ready to come home from the hospital. Carson took the Honda and picked up the groceries on Jeannie's list, tossing in a couple of other items he thought Andrew might like.

Rodney had obviously been watching for Jeannie's Honda, as he was hovering anxiously in the front hall when Carson stepped through the door. Carson quickly explained about the errand Jeannie had sent him on as Rodney helped him put the groceries away. He tried to ignore the way Rodney was taking entirely too much interest in the new jar of strawberry jam. He was relieved when Rodney finally put the jar in the fridge and announced that he was going to take a shower.

Carson was about to sit on the couch with the newspaper to wait for Jeannie's call, when the doorbell rang. He put down the paper and walked to the door, assuming it would be Britney, Jamie, or another Brownie selling cookies. He was completely stunned when he opened the door and found Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard standing on the other side.

"Hey, Carson," Sheppard said. "I was in the neighbourhood, so I thought I'd drop in."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
As Sheppard studied Carson's face, several emotions seemed to flit across it at once: wonder, surprise, panic. Then Carson smiled, which made everything ten times worse.

_Sometimes, he's as easy to read as Rodney_, Sheppard thought.

"Colonel Sheppard, it's great to see you," Carson said. He almost sounded sincere.

"It's great to see you too, Carson." Sheppard glanced meaningfully over Carson's shoulder and through the door his friend was blocking. Carson didn't take the hint. Sheppard cleared his throat. "Uh, can I come in?"

Carson stared at Sheppard blankly for a moment. "What? Oh! You want to come in. Right. Uh. Okay." He stepped to one side, ushering Sheppard inside the house.

Sheppard stood in the front hall, surveying the living room. "Nice place."

"Uh, thank you," Carson said. Then, realizing what he'd said, he laughed and blushed. "I mean, thank you on Jeannie's behalf. I'm sure she'll appreciate the compliment."

"Jeannie's Rodney's sister, right?" Sheppard asked.

"Yes," Carson said. "She's been kind enough to let us stay with her." He paused, looking Sheppard directly in the eye. "But I gather you knew that already, or you wouldn't have come. How did you track us down, anyway?"

Sheppard smiled enigmatically. "Oh, I have my methods." He walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Carson quickly followed him, choosing the armchair.

"Can I get you anything?" Carson asked. "I believe there's still some coffee and Rodney made pancakes."

Sheppard started in surprise. "So Rodney's up and around, then?"

"Uh, yes," Carson said. "Is there some reason why he wouldn't be?"

Sheppard's eyes narrowed. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because he contracted some mysterious illness that forced him to take an extended leave of absence?" Sheppard leaned forward, ignoring the twinge of pain from his abdomen. "It's funny, but no one seems to know what this mysterious illness is. Well, Elizabeth seemed to be under the impression that Rodney was suffering from some kind of breakdown. I have a feeling that she's starting to re-think that idea, seeing as you and Rodney have basically been AWOL for four months and haven't even attempted to contact the SGC or Atlantis."

"That's not true," Carson said. "I sent Elizabeth a letter through the SGC."

Sheppard laughed. "Oh, you mean that really vague note in which you informed Elizabeth that you and Rodney would have to extend your leave, but that she shouldn't worry because everything was hunky-dory and you and Rodney were having a super time?"

Carson grimaced. "Well, those weren't my exact words, but I suppose you got the gist of it."

Sheppard glared at Carson. "So, medically speaking, what does 'hunky-dory' mean? Are we talking cancer? A brain tumour?"

Carson's jaw dropped. "God, of course not! He's fine, Colonel. Really."

Sheppard scrutinized Carson's face, as if trying to determine whether he was telling the truth. He was apparently satisfied by what he saw because he slumped back in relief. "So he's really okay? There's nothing wrong with him?"

"Ah," Carson said. "Well..."

Sheppard jerked upright, banging his knees on the coffee table. "What is it? What's the problem?"

Carson shot a nervous glance towards the basement. "It's not exactly a problem per se as a...a condition he's suffering from."

"So Rodney's sick," Sheppard said.

Carson shook his head in frustration. "No, not sick. He's fine. Well, not fine, exactly, but, uh..."

Mercifully, the phone rang and Carson sprang out of the armchair to answer it.

"Well, that was quick. Yes, I can be there in about five minutes. No, everything's fine. Why shouldn't it be? You think I sound stressed? Jeannie, what could I possibly be stressed about? No, Rodney hasn't made any more pancakes. He helped me put the groceries away and then went to take a shower. No, listen. I'm not freaking out about this morning. This morning was wonderful. Perfect. Quite possibly the best morning I've ever had. No, I'm not being sarcastic. Jeannie, I'm hanging up the phone now. I'm hanging up the phone so I can come pick you up, not because I'm trying to avoid a conversation. Jeannie, I'll be seeing you in five minutes. We can talk then. Well, no, obviously not in front of Andrew. We'll talk later, then. I promise. Yes, honestly. I've got to go, Jeannie. See you in five minutes. Bye."

Sheppard made no effort to hide his smirk as Carson hung up the phone. "So, I take it that was Jeannie."

Carson ran a hand through his hair and nodded. "Aye, that was Jeannie."

"She sounded...interesting." Sheppard allowed his eyes to wander around the living room again in an attempt to appear casual. "And Rodney's in the shower?"

Carson's eyes widened. "You can't see him. Not yet. I have to talk to you first. There are things you need to know."

Sheppard raised an eyebrow. "That sounds ominous. Care to elaborate?"

Carson glanced hurriedly at his watch. "I've got to go," he said. "Just stay here. Right here. I'll be back in about ten or fifteen minutes. I'll explain everything then."

Sheppard plucked The Mirror off the coffee table and spread it open on his lap. "Sure thing, Carson. Whatever you say."

Carson eyed Sheppard suspiciously. "I mean it, Colonel. It's vital that you don't see Rodney before I talk to you."

"What if Rodney gets out of the shower before you're back?" Sheppard asked.

"If he does, he probably won't come up here," Carson said. "He'll go on his laptop or take a nap."

Sheppard looked at Carson incredulously. "A nap? Rodney?"

Carson sighed. "He's had more luck sleeping during the day lately than at night, and I'm pretty sure he didn't get enough sleep last night." He raised a hand when Sheppard opened his mouth to ask a question. "I have to go. We'll talk about it when I get back." Carson walked into the front hall and quickly threw on his shoes. "Stay up here."

Sheppard smiled serenely and started flipping through the paper. He waited until Carson had shut the front door and pulled out of the driveway, before he put down the paper and stood up. Then he was heading for the basement.

Sheppard didn't know why Carson was so worried about him seeing Rodney before they had a chance to talk. Sheppard had seen so many strange sights in the Pegasus Galaxy, that he didn't think there were a lot of things left that could phase him. He had almost turned into a bug for God's sake. Whatever Rodney's problem was Sheppard was sure he could deal with it. All the same, he still hesitated when he reached the bathroom door.

Sheppard knew that Rodney valued his privacy. While Rodney was often willing to divulge personal details from his past, whether people wanted to hear them or not, he could be surprisingly tight-lipped at times and there were definitely aspects of his life that Rodney preferred to withhold. There had to be a reason why Rodney had decided to sneak out of the Pegasus Galaxy and hole up on Earth. He was obviously hiding something and had somehow roped Carson into being his accomplice.

Sheppard wondered if he should follow Carson's advice for once and wait until he knew all the facts before he confronted Rodney. Then he heard the shower shut off and was suddenly reminded that the only thing standing between him and Rodney was a bathroom door. Unable to resist that kind of temptation, Sheppard reached for the door knob and turned it.

The shower curtain had been pulled back and Rodney's face was obscured by the towel he was using to dry his hair. However, Sheppard's eyes weren't drawn to Rodney's face, or even another notable piece of his anatomy. No, his eyes were glued to the swollen bump that was Rodney's mid-section. When Rodney's head emerged from beneath the towel, Sheppard was still staring at it and Rodney froze in horror.

Sheppard had to swallow a couple of times before he was able to find his voice and, even then, it was hoarse and pitched a little higher than usual.

"My God, McKay, what the hell did you _eat_?"

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
The first clear thought that popped into Sheppard's mind was that Rodney looked like a cartoon character that had swallowed a water melon whole. He tried to fight it, but he couldn't hold back the laughter. He laughed even harder when Rodney hastily covered himself with the towel, like some modest blushing maiden. Then Sheppard was dodging the bottle of shampoo that Rodney hurled at his head.

"Get out!" Rodney shouted.

"Whoa, buddy! Calm down!" Sheppard threw up an arm to fend off the bar of soap that went sailing through the air next.

"Out!" Rodney screamed. "OUT! OUT! OUT!"

A soap dish clipped Sheppard's arm, and then Rodney was stepping out of the shower and searching for more objects to throw.

"Look, Rodney, I'm sorry," Sheppard said. "Can we just talk about this?" He grimaced as a hairbrush hit his chest and only just managed to duck in time when Rodney launched a soap dispenser at him. When Rodney reached for the toilet brush, Sheppard knew it was time to pull back. He heard the toilet brush thump against the bathroom door as he made his retreat. Seconds later, Rodney was turning the lock in the door. Sheppard grabbed the knob, but the door wouldn't budge.

"Oh, come on!" Sheppard said. "This is ridiculous! Rodney, open up!"

"Go to hell, Colonel!" Rodney yelled from inside the bathroom.

Sheppard rested his forehead against the door. "Rodney, I'm sorry," he said. "I just wasn't expecting you to...to look the way you do. Not that there's anything wrong with how you look. It's just...Rodney, please let me in so I can talk to you."

Rodney's only response was to fling something else at the door.

Sheppard stared at the door for a second then decided that it might be a good idea to give Rodney the time and space he needed to calm down. Sheppard gave him eight minutes before he started pounding on the door.

"Come on, Rodney! Open up!" Sheppard said. He wasn't sure if it was a good sign that Rodney had stopped throwing things. When it came to Rodney, silence definitely wasn't the norm. "Rodney, if you don't open the door this second, I'm going to break it down! I'm serious, Rodney! I'll-Oww!"

Sheppard had been so focused on Rodney, that he hadn't heard the sound of footfalls on the stairs or noticed the blonde come at him with fists flying.

"Hey, watch it!" Sheppard cried. "That hurts!" He tried to dodge the woman's blows, but she wasn't backing down.

"Get out!" she shouted.

Still trying to fend off the woman, Sheppard began backing away from the bathroom door. "If you'd just let me explain..."

"Get out!" The woman's blue eyes were blazing in much the same way Rodney's had just been, and Sheppard knew exactly who he was dealing with.

"Uh, hey...Jeannie," Sheppard said. "This has all been some terrible misunderstanding. If we could just sit down and talk about it – "

"If you don't get out of here in the next ten seconds, this will be more than just a misunderstanding," Jeannie said. "Capisce?"

Sheppard swallowed nervously and nodded. Then Carson was grabbing his shoulders and shoving him towards the stairs – not that Sheppard needed any encouragement. He took the stairs two at a time as he flew out of the basement.

He swept through the living room so quickly, that he almost missed the boy lying on the couch. Sheppard paused just outside the front hall and turned. The boy was gazing at him curiously, but didn't seem frightened of the stranger in his living room. If anything, he seemed amused.

"Wow," the boy said. "She's really pissed."

Sheppard smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah. You could say that."

"Are you a burglar?" the boy asked.

Sheppard couldn't help grinning. "No, I'm Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard of the United States Air Force." He walked towards the boy, his hand extended.

The boy stared at Sheppard, his mouth forming a perfect "o". "You're Uncle Rodney's friend," he said.

Sheppard lowered his hand. "Well, yeah. I'm Carson's friend too."

The boy's expression darkened. "No, my mom is Carson's friend."

"Uh...okay." Sheppard was making a mental note not to get on this kid's bad side, when something the boy had said clicked in his brain. "Hold on. Did you just say 'Uncle Rodney'?"

"Yeah," the boy said.

"Oh, cool. I didn't even know Rodney had a nephew." Sheppard remembered a name that had come up during Carson's conversation over the phone with Jeannie and hazarded a guess. "You're Andrew, right? It's great to meet you." Sheppard held out his hand again, and this time Andrew shook it. "Hey, are you okay?" Sheppard asked. Andrew had winced slightly when he moved his head, and Sheppard thought he recognized the look of someone who had just been released from the hospital.

"Concussion," Andrew said, pointing to his head.

Sheppard's eyes widened in concern. "Concussion? How?"

"Hockey game," Andrew said.

Sheppard grimaced in sympathy. "Ouch. I guess it's a good thing you weren't playing football."

Andrew snorted. "Football is for babies."

Sheppard gasped and clutched at his chest. "Ah, Andrew, you're breaking my heart!"

Andrew giggled and Sheppard decided that he could overlook the kid's misconceptions about football.

"Can I get you anything?" Sheppard said. "Maybe an ice-pack or something to drink?"

"Can I have some pop?" Andrew asked.

Sheppard frowned in confusion. "Uh, pop?"

"Yeah," Andrew said. "I think there's some Coke in the fridge."

Sheppard smiled smugly. "Oh, you mean _soda_."

"No, pop." Andrew was looking at Sheppard as if he were stupid, and Sheppard no longer had any trouble spotting the resemblance between Andrew and his uncle.

"Uh, I'll get right on that," Sheppard said.

"Why is my mom mad at you?" Andrew asked when Sheppard returned from the kitchen with a can of Coke.

Sheppard sat down on the other end of the couch. "It might be because I threatened to break down the bathroom door." When Andrew gazed at him blankly, Sheppard said, "Your uncle locked himself in the bathroom."

"Oh." Andrew didn't sound too surprised.

Sheppard studied him for a moment. "Andrew, do you know what's wrong with your uncle? Is he sick?"

"No," Andrew said. "He has a medical condition."

"What kind of medical condition?" Sheppard asked. "Do you know?"

"Yeah, I think so." Andrew took a sip of Coke. "I think he's going to have a baby."

Sheppard burst out laughing. "_What_?"

"He looks the same way Sangeeta's mom did when she was pregnant," Andrew said. "And he keeps getting bigger and bigger, as if there's a baby growing inside him."

"But-but men can't have babies!" Sheppard spluttered.

Andrew shot Sheppard a pitying look. "Men are allowed to have babies in Canada. It's legal."

Sheppard was too stunned to speak at first. When he did manage to produce speech, he couldn't quite keep the squeak out of his voice. "Look, kid, whether it's legal or not isn't the point. It's biologically impossible for men to have babies."

Andrew raised his chin stubbornly. "If men can't have babies then how come my friend Britney has two dads?"

"Well, obviously your friend Britney has two dads because..." Sheppard trailed off when he realized that it probably wasn't his place to explain where the children of same-sex marriages came from.

"Because what?" Andrew's arms were now crossed over his chest and he was watching Sheppard. When Sheppard heard someone coming up the stairs, he wasn't sure if he should feel relieved or even more worried. He still didn't have an answer when Carson stomped into the living room, muttering under his breath.

"Bloody Canadians locking themselves in the loo," Carson grumbled. Then he smiled hastily when he saw Andrew. "Sorry. I didn't mean you."

"Is Uncle Rodney still locked in the bathroom?" Andrew asked.

"Aye," Carson said, "only your mum's gone and joined him, so now they're _both_ refusing to come out." He scowled at Sheppard angrily. "You've made a right mess of things, Colonel."

Sheppard sighed. "Yeah, I know." He stared down at his hands for an instant, before posing the question he was afraid to ask. "Carson, is Rodney pregnant?"

"What?" Carson shot an alarmed look at Andrew and then glared at Sheppard, who rolled his eyes.

"Hey, don't look at me," Sheppard said. "Andrew's the one who told me. Apparently, Rodney looks just like Sangeeta's mom did when she was going to have a baby."

"Oh, I see." Carson ran a hand across his face.

"Carson, he says men can't have babies," Andrew said, "but Uncle Rodney's going to have one and-and Britney has two dads, so Jamie or Claude must have had a baby too."

Carson's lips twitched and he coughed to hide his amusement. "Colonel Sheppard is right. Usually, men can't have babies, but your Uncle Rodney is an exception to the rule." Sheppard's mouth fell open and he gaped at Carson in shock. However, Carson remained focused on Andrew. "It's very complicated and it's something you'll have to discuss with your mum."

Andrew made a face. "Can't you just tell me now? Mom always chickens out when she has to talk to me about things like that."

"Well, I'm sure she won't this time," Carson said. He grasped Andrew gently by the chin, examining the boy's pupils and moving his head in a slow and careful motion. "How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?"

Andrew threw up his hands in frustration. "Now you're doing it! Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because I'm in line ahead of you, kid," Sheppard said. "He has to talk to me first." Sheppard grabbed Carson's arm and yanked him into the kitchen.

"Shout if you need anything," Carson called through the hatch.

"Yeah, whatever," Andrew said, reaching for the remote and switching on the TV.

Sheppard sat down at the kitchen table and, with a sharp jerk of his head, indicated that Carson should do the same. "How the hell did this happen?" he asked. "How the hell did Rodney get pregnant?"

Carson sat down heavily in his chair, looking like a man who had been shouldering an immense burden for months. Then, in a sudden flash of insight, Sheppard realized that was exactly what Carson was.

Sheppard sighed and slouched back in his chair. "I want to help you, Carson, but I can't unless I know what's going on."

"Aye," Carson said. "I know." Then, taking a deep breath, he told Sheppard everything. He explained that Rodney had been implanted with an Ascended Ancient's embryo and how they had only discovered the truth after Rodney had started experiencing headaches and nausea. He described Rodney's panic attack after learning the news – a panic attack that had led to Rodney's wild theories about the military and his decision to flee to Canada. Sheppard had raised his eyebrows at that point, but didn't interrupt the narrative.

Carson told Sheppard about how Rodney had been reunited with his sister and how Jeannie had invited them to stay with her. When Sheppard asked Carson how much Jeannie knew about Rodney's condition, Carson had been forced to confess that Jeannie knew everything.

Sheppard's eyebrows flew up again, and this time he couldn't hold his tongue. "Everything?" he asked. "Define 'everything,' Carson."

Carson bit his lip. "She knows about the baby, the SGC, and Atlantis." At Sheppard's look of disapproval, Carson said, "She caught me examining Rodney with the portable ultrasound. The rest she got from Rodney. Uh, apparently there was a penlight involved."

Sheppard's forehead creased. "A penlight? Rodney broke under a penlight?"

Carson nodded. "Aye. Jeannie shone it in his eyes."

Sheppard stared at Carson for several seconds and then shook his head. "I'm out of the loop for a few months and...and this happens!" He stood up and started pacing around the kitchen. "We've got to get Rodney back to Atlantis. He should be in the infirmary, not in-in Scarborough!" Sheppard couldn't quite hide the contempt in his voice and regretted it the instant he saw the hurt expression on Carson's face.

"There's nothing wrong with Scarborough," Carson said. "It's a lovely place. Rodney's family is here and he's healthy and happy. Well, he was happy until _you_ came along."

Sheppard's eyes narrowed. "I'm guessing Rodney's not the only one who's been happy." He flicked his eyes at the stairs leading to the basement. Scarborough _is_ lovely. I can see why you'd want to stay. But this is about what's best for Rodney. If you were thinking with your head instead of some other part of your anatomy, you'd see that."

Carson's eyes flashed angrily. "I _am_ thinking of Rodney. He's terrified of what the military and your government might do to him and the baby if they ever found out he was pregnant." Carson rose from his chair and stood directly in front of Sheppard. "Do you think I haven't tried talking him into going back? Do you think I haven't worried about what could bloody happen every single day?" Carson laughed bitterly. "You swoop in here making accusations and judgments when you know _nothing_, Colonel."

Carson sagged against the kitchen counter and stared down at his feet. Sheppard waited a few seconds and then placed a hesitant hand on Carson's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Sheppard said. "You're right. I don't know anything." He tossed another glance towards the basement. "And it seems I've only made things worse by coming here."

Carson looked up at Sheppard with a serious expression. "No, I was wrong about that. Rodney needs you."

"To do what?" Sheppard asked. "Be there when he barricades himself in the bathroom again?"

Carson smiled ruefully. "No, to support Rodney and help him make the right decision about the baby," he said. "Rodney does need to return to Atlantis, but we can't drag him there. He'd never forgive us for a start and he needs all the friends he can get right now. No, Colonel, this is a decision Rodney has to make for himself."

Sheppard nodded as he digested this information. "Okay. I can do that. I can support him – if he'll let me."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about Rodney," Carson said. "Jeannie's the one you should _really_ be worried about."

"Yeah, I kinda figured." Sheppard was about to ask Carson if there was any way he might get on Jeannie's good side, when Andrew's voice broke into their conversation.

"Are you guys finished fighting yet?" Andrew called from the living room. "I'm hungry."

Carson flashed a grin at Sheppard before sticking his head through the hatch. "What would you like? A grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Can I have two?" Andrew asked. "With ketchup on the side?"

Carson's grin grew even wider. "Coming right up." He turned away from the hatch. "I don't think there's any doubt which side of the family he got his appetite from."

"I heard that!" Andrew said.

"There's no doubt where he got his mouth from either," Sheppard whispered. He stuck his head in the fridge to look for bread, cheese and margarine, while Carson went to the cupboard for some aluminum foil and an oven tray. Sheppard had just found the cheese when his eyes fell on that morning's breakfast. "Carson, are those pancakes with – ?"

"Don't ask," Carson said. "Just _don't_ ask."

"Uh, okay." Sheppard placed the ingredients he'd found on the kitchen counter as Carson ripped off a strip of aluminum foil.

"I might as well make grilled cheese sandwiches for everyone," Carson said. "If food doesn't lure Rodney out of the bathroom, I don't know what will."

Sheppard opened the package of bread and started pulling out slices. "I just hope we have enough ketchup."

When the grilled cheese sandwiches had been made, and Sheppard had delivered Andrew's order, he picked up the plates Carson had set aside for Rodney and Jeannie. Sheppard had been expecting Carson to argue or protest, but Carson merely raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Better you than me, Colonel," he said. Sheppard frowned but still headed towards the basement with both plates.

Sheppard crept down the stairs, listening carefully for any sounds below, but all he was greeted with was silence. He wondered if Rodney and his sister could possibly still be in the bathroom. Then he reached the bottom of the stairs and froze when he spotted the bed.

Jeannie was leaning against the headboard, seemingly engrossed in a yellowed paperback with a faded cover. Rodney was curled up against her, and Jeannie was rubbing his back absently. Sheppard couldn't be sure, but he thought Rodney might be asleep. Screwing up his courage, Sheppard moved slowly towards the siblings.

Sheppard had just reached the foot of the bed, when Jeannie lifted her eyes from her paperback and glared at him. Sheppard pasted his most charming smile on his face and set the plates down on the mattress with the exaggerated care of someone making a peace offering. Jeannie's eyes flicked to the plates then back to Sheppard's smile.

"What?" she said. "No drinks?"

Sheppard's smile wavered for a second and then returned at full blast. "Right. Of course." He flew back upstairs and grabbed two tins of pop from the fridge. When he returned, Jeannie was nudging Rodney in the shoulder.

"Come on, sleepyhead," Jeannie said. "It's time for lunch."

"Lunch?" Rodney murmured sleepily. "Didn't we just have breakfast?"

"Yeah, well, you're eating for two," Jeannie said.

"Oh, okay." Rodney began to sit up, and Sheppard went back upstairs in case Rodney saw him and decided to lock himself in the bathroom again.

Andrew was only halfway through his lunch when Britney showed up at the door. She'd already had lunch, but she was more than happy to accept the cookies Carson offered her. She didn't stay long as Andrew wasn't up for much of anything more than talking and, even then, the conversation was interrupted by several jaw-splitting yawns on Andrew's part. Andrew crashed about ten minutes after Britney left, and Sheppard was about to carry the boy to his room, but Carson beat him to it.

"It's okay," Carson said, scooping Andrew into his arms. "I've got him."

Andrew stirred as he was lifted off the couch. "Carson?" he mumbled.

"It's all right, son," Carson said. "Go back to sleep."

Andrew snuggled against Carson's shoulder. "'Kay."

When Carson returned to the living room, he sat down in the armchair with a sigh. "Poor kid. He's absolutely exhausted."

"A concussion will do that to you," Sheppard said.

Carson smiled grimly. "I don't think it's the concussion so much as the analgesics. I'm sure before this, he was only ever given Tylenol for fever."

"Before this, I was the one popping all the Tylenol." Jeannie was standing at the top of the stairs. She pointed a finger at Carson. "You are _so_ sleeping on the couch tonight, mister."

Carson blushed and nodded. "Aye, I thought as much."

Jeannie glanced around the living room. "Where's Andrew? In his room?"

"Yes, I've just put him to bed," Carson said.

"Okay." Jeannie's eyes shifted to Sheppard and she gave a sharp jerk of her chin. "Kitchen. Now." When Sheppard didn't immediately rise from the couch, she said, "That wasn't a request. Move it, flyboy."

Sheppard gulped and, leaping to his feet, followed Jeannie meekly into the kitchen.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  



	4. Chapter 4

As Sheppard made his way into the kitchen, he was consumed by the same wave of panic he'd felt whenever he'd been dragged before a Wraith Queen. Jeannie's gaze was certainly as hard and unflinching as a Wraith's as she pointed to the kitchen table and Sheppard reluctantly sat down. He tried not to twitch as Jeannie stared across at him, assessing him for weaknesses, gauging how long it would take for him to break. Sheppard held out for about forty seconds.

"Uh, how's Rodney?" Sheppard asked when he could no longer stand the silence.

If possible, Jeannie's eyes grew a degree colder. "He's hurt because his stupid boyfriend -- and I use the term _very_ loosely -- laughed at him when he was in the shower."

Sheppard bowed his head. "It wasn't done maliciously. I was...I was just caught by surprise. I-I wasn't expecting him to be...to be..."

"Wow, you must be really popular in maternity wards," Jeannie said.

Sheppard gritted his teeth. "Look, I'm sorry, but the last thing I was expecting was to see Rodney knocked up."

Jeannie propped her chin on her hand. "Oh? So what were you expecting to see, then?"

Sheppard slumped back in his chair. "I don't know. I-I thought he was sick, that maybe he had cancer." He dared to look at Jeannie, who was staring at him with an incredulous look.

"You thought Rodney might have cancer?" Jeannie asked.

Sheppard shrugged. "That or a brain tumour. When I found out a couple of weeks ago that Rodney had left Atlantis, I knew something was wrong."

Jeannie raised her eyebrows. "You've only known for a couple of weeks? Didn't you think it was strange when you didn't hear anything from him?"

Sheppard began fiddling with the edge of the tablecloth. "I was stationed on another planet -- in this galaxy for once -- and I was pretty much cut off from Atlantis and the SGC," he said. "I did write Rodney a letter when I first arrived on Dakara, but I never heard back from him. I thought maybe it didn't reach him, or..."

"Or?" Jeannie pressed.

Sheppard smiled, though Jeannie could see it was forced. "Or he just got busy and didn't feel like writing back."

"I see." Jeannie stood, walked around the kitchen table, and cuffed Sheppard on the back of the head.

"Hey!" Sheppard rubbed his head, glaring at Jeannie.

"You're an idiot," Jeannie said. "A complete and utter _idiot_." Sheppard tried to duck, but he couldn't escape a second smack from Jeannie's hand. "Rodney _loves_ you. He's been pining away for months. It's been really pathetic."

Sheppard's brow creased. "He does? He has? It's been pathetic?"

Jeannie grabbed Sheppard's arm and hauled him out of his chair. "Go talk to him."

"What? But-but what if he doesn't want to see me?" Sheppard couldn't suppress the fear that was rising in him.

"Tough." Jeannie shoved Sheppard out of the kitchen and stood with her hands on her hips as Sheppard made his way to the stairs. When Sheppard stood frozen at the top, Jeannie said, "I know you can do it. You've already gone down them three times."

"Okay, okay. I'm going." Fighting off another surge of anxiety, Sheppard slowly descended into the basement.

Sheppard thought Rodney might be napping again or working on his laptop, so he was surprised to see Rodney leafing through the same paperback Jeannie had been reading earlier. Then, as if sensing he wasn't alone, Rodney lifted his head, his eyes widening.

"You're-you're not supposed to be here," Rodney said. "My sister told you to leave." Dropping the paperback, Rodney raised his voice and shouted, "Jeannie!"

Jeannie's response came instantly from the top of the stairs. "Oh, just talk to him, you big baby!"

Rodney's mouth fell open and he sputtered in indignation. "I have nothing to say to Colonel Insensitive!"

This time there was a slight edge to Jeannie's voice. "He's your boyfriend. You're going to have to talk to him sooner or later."

"He's not my boyfriend!" Rodney said, eyeing Sheppard coldly.

"Well, you still need to talk to him...whatever he is," Jeannie called down the stairs. "Look, just give him five minutes. If he doesn't leave by then, I'll come down."

"You'd better," Rodney grumbled. Then he crossed his arms and scowled at Sheppard. "Well?" he snapped.

Sheppard cleared his throat. "Uh, I just heard the happy news. Congratulations."

Rodney's eyes narrowed. "Are you trying to be funny?"

"What? No!" Sheppard said. "I'm being completely serious. I think it's great that you're...you're going to give birth to an alien baby."

Rodney lowered his eyes, crossing his arms more tightly. "You think I'm a freak."

"No, that's not true," Sheppard said. It hurt that Rodney could think that. Sheppard took another step towards the bed, feeling even more pain when Rodney edged closer to the headboard, covering his belly with one of the sheets on the bed. "How could you believe I'd ever think that, Rodney?"

Rodney stared at Sheppard in disbelief before flushing an angry shade of red. "You laughed at the baby!"

Sheppard flinched then accepted the accusation with a reluctant nod. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't say sorry to me!" Rodney shouted. "You should apologize to the baby!"

"Okay," Sheppard said. He tried to glance down at Rodney's belly, but Rodney was still concealing it with the sheet. "Uh, I'm really sorry for laughing at you, little guy."

Rodney glared at Sheppard. "It's a girl."

"Oh," Sheppard said. "Right." He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, uh, princess. I shouldn't have laughed at you and upset your...uh...mommy." Sheppard moved closer to the bed. "Look, this would be a lot easier if I could see who I was apologizing to, so if you could just pull back the sheet..."

Rodney shook his head emphatically and yanked the sheet all the way up to his chin.

Sheppard groaned. "Rodney..."

"I'm tired. Go away." Rodney turned on his side and closed his eyes.

Sheppard watched him for a moment then said, "Okay, Rodney."

Sheppard was sure that if he were a dog, his tail would be between his legs. It was an effort to keep his head held high, especially when he ran into Jeannie at the top of the stairs.

"That was fast," Jeannie said.

"Uh, yeah. Rodney didn't really feel like talking." Sheppard tried to smile, but Jeannie was looking at him with an expression that was all too compassionate. Before Sheppard could stop himself, he found he was blurting out the truth. "I really hurt him."

Jeannie rolled her eyes. "Well, duh. You laughed at him, you jerk. Rodney's always been sensitive about his body and now he's pregnant..."

"He's more sensitive than ever," Sheppard said. "Dammit. When am I going to learn to keep my big mouth shut?"

Jeannie patted Sheppard's arm sympathetically. "You didn't know."

"Maybe not," Sheppard said, "but it doesn't make up for the fact that I laughed at him."

"Did you apologize?" Jeannie asked.

Sheppard nodded sheepishly. "Yeah. To him _and_ the baby."

"Well, then, you've done everything you can do for now," Jeannie said. "The ball's in Rodney's court."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Sheppard glanced around the living room, shifting uncomfortably. "I should get going. Find a motel or something. If it's okay, maybe I could call here in a couple of days, see how Rodney's doing. And Andrew too, of course. I've had a few concussions, so I know how much it sucks."

Jeannie gazed at Sheppard for an instant and sighed. "It won't be the Ritz," she said, "but how would you feel about a sleeping bag on the living room floor?"

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Everything had been so much easier in the Pegasus Galaxy. Rodney had made the first move by kissing him on Creseda, which had led to more kissing once Rodney had been released from the infirmary and, then, inevitably, to sex. When Sheppard had been facing what could have been his last night ever in Atlantis, it seemed only right to seek out Rodney. However, wanting something was one thing: being brave enough to go after it was another issue entirely.

It was almost midnight by the time Sheppard had worked up the courage to go to Rodney. He swung past the lab first and was relieved not to find Rodney there. This was the kind of proposition that would probably sound better if Rodney was already in his quarters.

The chime had barely sounded when Rodney's door opened. Raising an eyebrow, Sheppard stepped into the room. Rodney was lounging on his bed, reading one of the comic books Sheppard had lent him. He sat up and set the comic book aside as Sheppard approached him. Rodney seemed a little tense, which wasn't unusual for him, but Sheppard could sense something else -- a kind of suppressed excitement.

_Son of a bitch_, Sheppard thought. _He was expecting me to come_.

Rodney raised a hand in greeting. "Hey."

"Hey," Sheppard said.

Having gotten their introductions out of the way, neither of them seemed to know what to say next. Sheppard had been hoping that Rodney would take over the conversation as usual, and the topic of sex would come up naturally. Unfortunately, Rodney had apparently used up his allowance of words for the day because he was just sitting there, a little smile tugging at one corner of his lips.

"This is my last night on Atlantis," Sheppard said.

The smile faded. "Yeah, I guess it is."

Sheppard closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't want to be alone." When his eyes flew open again, the smile had returned.

"Would you like to watch a movie, or go out on the pier and get drunk?" Rodney said. However, Sheppard could tell by Rodney's expression that this wasn't what Rodney was asking at all.

Sheppard reached down and grabbed Rodney by the front of his shirt, pulling him to his feet. Then he was kissing Rodney with an intensity and enthusiasm that took even him by surprise. Rodney didn't seem to mind, though. He had moaned when Sheppard had kissed him, clutching at Sheppard's back and responding eagerly.

When they broke apart after a few minutes, Sheppard leaned forward to whisper in Rodney's ear. "It felt so good to feel your hand around my cock," he said. "I want to be surrounded by you again, feel you when I come."

Rodney shuddered. "I...I'd like that too. Maybe we could jerk each other off."

"Actually, I was thinking of something a little more intimate." Sheppard reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a container of lube. When Rodney gazed at the lube wordlessly, Sheppard hastily tried to put it away, but Rodney grabbed his hand. "Look, it was a stupid idea," Sheppard said. "I have no right to--"

"No, it's not that." Rodney swallowed nervously. "It's just that...I've never done it before." At Sheppard's incredulous stare, he quickly added, "Well, obviously I've _done_ it, but I've never been at the bottom before. Not that way."

"It's okay, Rodney. It's a lot to ask." Sheppard tried to pocket the lube again, but Rodney had a tight grip on his hand.

"I'm willing to try it," Rodney said. "I'd-I'd do anything for you." He blushed and tried to look away, but Sheppard cupped his face in both hands and kissed him, trying to place the words he couldn't conjure into this simple, heartfelt act. Rodney had always tried to do what Sheppard had asked of him. Even when he was afraid, or had declared that a task was impossible, he still went for it with everything he had. As Rodney's mouth opened under the assault of Sheppard's tongue, Sheppard knew that Rodney wouldn't be any different when it came to anal sex.

"I won't hurt you," Sheppard said. "If it becomes too painful for you, I promise to stop."

Rodney licked a swath of skin across Sheppard's neck, causing Sheppard to shiver. "I know you will."

They removed each other's clothes in what seemed like only a matter of seconds. Then Rodney was crawling across his bed and positioning himself on all fours. Sheppard's cock grew harder at the sight of Rodney on his hands and knees and he wondered if he'd be able to wait until he was inside Rodney to come.

Rodney tossed a look over his shoulder and practically smirked when he saw how aroused Sheppard had become. That was all the invitation Sheppard needed to join Rodney on the bed.

Sheppard ran a hand down Rodney's back, feeling him tremble slightly. Sheppard kissed Rodney between the shoulder-blades and then reached down to grab Rodney's cock. Rodney gasped and his penis twitched in Sheppard's hand.

"We'll take it slow," Sheppard said. "If anything doesn't feel good, let me know."

Rodney tried unsuccessfully to hold back a whimper as Sheppard stroked his cock. "Yes, yes, fine. Just get on with it, will you?"

Sheppard grinned and smacked Rodney on the ass. "Okay. You asked for it." He twisted the cap off the lube and squeezed out some gel. Then he trailed his index finger down the crease of Rodney's ass and between the soft round cheeks. Rodney tensed when the finger reached his anus, and Sheppard rubbed his back. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to," Sheppard said. "We can stop any time."

Rodney glanced quickly over his shoulder. "No, it's all right. I...I just panicked for a second. I'm okay now."

Sheppard bit his lip. "Are you sure?"

Rodney sighed. "For the last time, yes," he said. "If I change my mind, you'll be the first person to know."

Sheppard snorted. "Well, I should hope so." Pressing against the puckered hole, Sheppard started to push his finger gently inside Rodney's anus. The space was so constricted, that Sheppard wondered whether he would be able to work his finger in past the knuckle. Then Rodney spread his legs further apart and made a visible effort to relax. A couple of minutes later, the entire finger had disappeared.

"I'm going to try adding another finger," Sheppard said.

"Okay." Rodney sounded a bit breathless, but Sheppard didn't think it was due to pain.

Prodding Rodney's anus again, Sheppard patiently coaxed his middle finger through that tight hole. When the second digit was nestled snugly against the first one, Sheppard began to move both fingers in a circular motion, attempting to stretch Rodney even more. When he tried to bend his fingers, he brushed against something that made Rodney cry out.

"God, I'm sorry," Sheppard said. He was about to pull his fingers away, when he felt Rodney squeeze down on them.

"Don't you dare," Rodney hissed.

Sheppard stared at Rodney's back in confusion. "What?"

"Do...do it again," Rodney said hoarsely.

"Um, okay." Sheppard crooked his fingers, and Rodney yelled even louder.

"That's fantastic," Rodney gasped. "It's almost as good as wormholes and...and kittens."

"Really?" Sheppard asked. "You mean when I do this?" Sheppard nudged Rodney's prostate a third time and Rodney actually mewled. Sheppard wasted no time in introducing a third finger after that.

When the third finger was all the way in, Rodney was panting and trembling slightly.

"Get in me now," Rodney growled.

Sheppard swallowed, his cock growing even harder. He slowly withdrew his fingers and coated his penis with lube. Then he grasped the hips in front of him and positioned himself behind Rodney.

Rodney drew in a sharp breath and tensed when Sheppard's cock breached him. Sheppard kissed his back, hoping to reassure him. "It's okay," Sheppard said. "Try to relax."

"That's easy for you to say." Rodney sounded like he was speaking through gritted teeth.

"Do you want me to stop?" Sheppard asked.

Rodney laughed. "Are you kidding? Of course not."

Taking that as consent, Sheppard continued to push into Rodney, moving slowly, allowing Rodney to become accustomed to the hard length inside him. Sheppard knew that all Rodney was probably feeling at the moment was the burn. Rodney was so tight that Sheppard was afraid he might come from the pressure on his cock alone.

Once Sheppard made it all the way in, it was a struggle not to start thrusting. He could hear harsh, shallow breaths from Rodney and see trickles of sweat on his neck. Sheppard wondered once again if this had been such a good idea, when Rodney gasped and jerked his pelvis. Sheppard pulled himself out of Rodney's body a little and thrust gently.

"More," Rodney said. "Faster."

Clutching Rodney's hips firmly, Sheppard drew almost all the way out of Rodney and then pushed in harder. Rodney whimpered, arching his back. Sheppard thrust again and, this time, Rodney responded in counterpoint.

As Sheppard continued his onslaught, driving into Rodney harder and faster each time, Rodney moaned until his voice was just one continuous keening wail. When the pleasure became too much, Rodney gave a deep shudder and the wail turned into a sob. He collapsed on his stomach with Sheppard still pounding into him. Then Sheppard felt the orgasm rip through him and he thrust wildly.

When Sheppard came to, he was lying on top of Rodney and they were both a sweaty, sticky, and thoroughly sated mess.

"Again, again," Rodney mumbled, sounding half asleep.

Sheppard laughed and nuzzled Rodney's shoulder. "I don't think either of us is up for it, buddy. Besides, I've got an early start tomorrow."

"Stay?" Rodney asked.

"Okay," Sheppard said. "For a little while."

Sheppard knew he would be long gone before morning. Unfortunately, he suspected that Rodney knew as well.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
"I stayed away for as long as I could," came a voice from the front door.

Sheppard looked up from the game of Monopoly he'd been playing with Carson and Andrew as Jeannie led a dark-haired man into the living room. Assuming he was a friend, or at least a neighbour, Sheppard stood and held out his hand.

"Oh, I know who you are," the man said. "You're Colonel Sheppard and you work with Carson and Rodney."

Sheppard raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, that's right. It's a pleasure to meet you, uh--"

"Jamie." The man reached across the coffee table and shook Sheppard's hand. "My God, you're gorgeous," he said. He glanced at Jeannie. "Why didn't Britney tell me he was hot? And that drawl! I love your accent!"

"Uh..." Sheppard tried to extract his hand, but Jamie's grip was like a vice.

Jeannie cleared her throat and poked Jamie's arm. When that didn't work, she grabbed both Jamie's and Sheppard's wrists and pried their hands apart. "Down boy," she said to Jamie. "You're married and I've seen what Claude can be like when he's jealous."

Jamie grinned. "Why do you think I flirt so much, sweetie?"

Jeannie rolled her eyes. "I assumed it was a hobby."

Jamie laughed and patted Jeannie's back affectionately. Then his eyes moved to Andrew and his expression grew more serious. "So I heard someone had to be taken from his hockey game in an ambulance."

Andrew smiled brightly. "I got a concussion."

Jamie grimaced then shot a sympathetic look at Jeannie. "Wow. His first major hockey injury. You must be so proud."

"Oh, yeah, I'm just bursting with pride," Jeannie said sarcastically. "And it's not his first major hockey injury: it's his _last_."

Andrew groaned. "Mom!"

At Jamie's confused expression, Carson explained. "Jeannie says Andrew will never be allowed to play hockey again."

Jamie snorted. "Yeah, right!" Jeannie glared at Jamie and his eyes widened. "You're not serious."

"Oh, I am," Jeannie said. "I'm totally serious."

"But, honey, it's hockey. _Hockey_." Jamie waved a helpless hand at Andrew as if it would somehow clarify his point. It didn't.

Jeannie crossed her arms and lifted her chin. "I'm sure there are lots of other activities Andrew can get involved in that won't require a backboard and x-rays."

Jamie placed his hands on Jeannie's shoulders. "Andrew's going to get hurt no matter what he does. He's a kid. Kids do that."

Jeannie shook her head. "Not on my watch. Not any more."

"Jeannie, unless your list of other activities includes time in a plastic bubble, that's just not going to happen," Jamie said. "You might as well let him play hockey because it's got the same risks as any other sport."

Jeannie took a step back, shrugging off Jamie's hands. "No, hockey is one of the most dangerous sports around. If you think I'm going to let my kid anywhere near a hockey rink again, you've got another thing coming."

Andrew rose abruptly to his feet. "I hate you!" he spat at Jeannie. Then he brushed past Sheppard and ran from the room.

For an instant, Jeannie looked as if she'd been punched, but then she tightened her jaw and gazed down at the carpet.

"He didn't mean it, luv," Carson said.

Jeannie nodded but didn't look up. "I know. Children say it all the time or, at least, I assume they do and it's not just Andrew and the kids in all those after school specials."

"They do," Jamie said. "Well, not to me, but Britney has said it to Claude a few times. In English and French. I hate you. Je te déteste."

Jeannie huffed out a breath. "Okay. That's good to know. And Andrew won't be taking French until September, so I should only have to hear it in the one language for now."

Jamie exchanged a look with Sheppard and Carson then pulled Jeannie into a hug. "Ah, sweetie, I'm sorry. I really opened a huge can of worms this time."

"No, no," Jeannie said against Jamie's shoulder. "It would have come up eventually. It's probably better that we got it out of the way."

Jamie planted a kiss on Jeannie's forehead. "You're a good mom, Jeannie. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently." He released Jeannie from his embrace, though he kept one hand on her arm. "I'm almost afraid to ask, but how's Rodney?"

Jeannie burst out laughing then looked at Sheppard. "Do you want to tell him, flyboy, or should I?"

Sheppard just put his face in his hands.

A few hours ago, he had set Rodney off again by sneaking down to the basement to see him. Well, if Sheppard was going to be totally honest with himself, he had snuck down to the basement because he'd wanted to see Rodney and his belly. Ever since Rodney had denied him access to it, Sheppard had become obsessed with the need to see and touch that belly. He had lay awake for half the night just thinking about it and what it would mean for Rodney.

Finally, when he could no longer stand it, Sheppard had snuck down the stairs and then across the floor on his stomach. Unfortunately, as he reached up and began to pull back the sheet covering Rodney, a hand had come out of nowhere and slapped him hard across the face. That was followed by a pillow that had clobbered him repeatedly on the head. In the end, Sheppard had been forced to flee back to the living room.

Now, sitting in the same living room, his face still in his hands, Sheppard could hear Jeannie telling Jamie a highly edited version of her brother's tiff with his not-quite boyfriend. He blocked it out as best he could, only realizing it was over when he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder.

"It's okay, honey," Jamie said. "Rodney will come around. He'd be crazy not to with a man like you waiting in the wings."

Sheppard wasn't so sure, but he smiled and thanked Jamie anyway.

It was two more days before Rodney did come around. It was almost 3:00 in the morning and Sheppard was half asleep, when he heard what sounded like a shout from the basement. Wrestling out of his sleeping bag, Sheppard tore down the stairs. Flicking on a light switch, he rushed over to the bed. Rodney was lying on his side, cradling his belly and sobbing.

"God, Rodney..." Sheppard sat down on the mattress and bent over Rodney, kissing his wet face and rubbing a hand along his back.

"He killed her," Rodney whispered. "The Wraith killed my baby."

"What?" Sheppard glanced down at Rodney's belly, though he didn't dare touch it."

"He-he put his hand on me and drained her life away." Rodney started crying again, curling into a ball.

Sheppard swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat. "Rodney, it was just a dream, a-a nightmare. The baby's fine."

"Get-get Carson," Rodney gasped between sobs. "He has to check the baby, make sure she's okay."

Sheppard was about to tell Rodney that it was the middle of the night and they should let Carson sleep. Then he took one look at Rodney's anguished face and instantly changed his mind. "Okay. I'll get Carson. Everything will be all right, Rodney."

Sheppard ran up the stairs and into the living room, expecting to see Carson asleep on the couch, but there was no sign of him. For a few seconds, Sheppard couldn't figure out where Carson could have gone. Then it hit him. "Oh, crap," he said. Shaking his head, Sheppard walked down the hall to Jeannie's room. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. "Um...Jeannie? I'm looking for Carson and I thought you might have seen him." He winced at his choice of words but continued. "Rodney had a nightmare that something happened to the baby and he's really upset. I'm sure the baby's fine, but I know Rodney would feel a lot better if--"

The door opened and Carson stared at Sheppard blearily. He was wearing a pink robe that obviously didn't belong to him. "Give me a minute," Carson said, closing the door again. Sheppard heard voices inside the room and then Carson re-emerged, Jeannie walking right behind him. Jeannie was now wearing the pink robe and Carson was wearing a t-shirt and boxers. Sheppard led them silently down the hall, through the living room, and into the basement.

Rodney had stopped sobbing, though tears were still rolling down his cheeks. Jeannie went to him without a word and wrapped her arms around him.

"It was a really bad one, eh?" Jeannie said.

Rodney nodded, leaning his head against Jeannie's shoulder. Carson gave them a couple of minutes before reaching under the bed to pull out a device Sheppard had never seen before.

"What's that?" Sheppard asked.

"It's the portable ultrasound I was telling you about," Carson said. "It's what I've been using to monitor the baby's condition."

At the words "portable ultrasound," Rodney lifted his head and then his shirt, revealing his rounded belly. Suddenly Sheppard wished that Rodney had continued to insist on hiding his belly if it meant he wasn't terrified about the baby.

Carson walked over to the bed, positioning the ultrasound over Rodney. Then he smiled at what he saw on the screen, and Rodney shed fresh tears of relief. "Come and see, Colonel," Carson said, beckoning Sheppard closer to the bed. Sheppard did so, peering curiously at the ultrasound. That was when he found himself crying along with Rodney.

"She...She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Sheppard touched the screen almost reverently. Then he reached down and placed a gentle hand on Rodney's belly. To Sheppard's surprise, Rodney grasped his hand, holding it tightly. That was when the baby kicked, causing both Sheppard and Rodney to laugh.

Although he was reluctant to do so, Sheppard eventually removed his hand from Rodney's belly. "You should get some sleep," he said. He watched Rodney settle back into bed and then tucked him in. He was about to turn and go back up the stairs with Carson and Jeannie, when Rodney called out to him.

"Where do you think you're going?" Rodney demanded.

Sheppard's jaw dropped. "Uh..."

"He's not going anywhere," Jeannie said. "Are you?" She fixed Sheppard with what was meant to be a glare, but her eyes were twinkling.

Sheppard smiled at Jeannie. "No, of course not. There's nowhere else I'd rather be." He climbed into bed beside Rodney, wishing Carson and Jeannie goodnight when they switched off the light and climbed the stairs. Sheppard had barely laid his head down, when Rodney snuggled up against him.

"I won't let anyone hurt you or the baby," Sheppard said. "I'm never leaving you again."

"Promise?" Rodney whispered.

Sheppard draped an arm around Rodney's shoulders, pulling him closer. "Yeah, I promise."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Rodney was woken, as was often the case these days, by a tiny kick inside the womb. As his bladder wasn't quite ready to burst, Rodney just kept his eyes closed and began drifting back to sleep. Then he heard the voice.

"So, you are awake. I thought you might be."

Rodney opened his eyes, fully expecting to see Sheppard smirking at him, but Sheppard wasn't there. Rodney blinked in confusion before his eyes drifted further down the mattress and he spotted Sheppard's dark head down by his swollen belly. Rodney's t-shirt had either ridden up when he was asleep or Sheppard had pulled it up. Rodney suspected the latter as Sheppard's head was almost lying on his belly, and his face was so close that his nose was nearly touching Rodney's skin.

The day before, Rodney's first reaction would have been to push Sheppard away and hide his exposed belly. However, Rodney's instincts were now telling him to keep still, pretend he was asleep, and see what else might transpire. Rodney was a scientist after all, and curiosity was an inherent part of his nature.

"You're such a clever little princess, aren't you?"

The baby kicked enthusiastically, as if she were in complete agreement.

Sheppard chuckled. "I don't care what Carson says about your real parents: you're your mommy's daughter." He patted Rodney's belly gently. "I bet you wave your tiny baby arms around and drool in your sleep too."

Rodney frowned. _I never, ever drool_, he thought, ignoring the damp spot on his pillow. Then he winced as the baby kicked again, using both feet this time.

"Oh, wow. That's fantastic." Sheppard's voice was tinged with awe, and Rodney couldn't help feeling a little smug -- on the baby's behalf, of course. "You've got a really powerful kick for an itty bitty little baby, don't you, sweet pea?"

Rodney's eyes flew open. _Sweet pea_?

"Don't tell your cousin Andrew, but you'd make a really good football player with a kick like that," Sheppard said. He drew even closer, and Rodney could feel a warm gust of air on his belly. "It's going to be at least a few years before we can start thinking about that, though, because you're kind of small right now: a mini McKay. An adorable squishy bundle of--"

"Right, that's it!" McKay cried. He sat up and tugged his t-shirt down forcefully. "'Sweet pea'? 'Squishy'? It's your brain that's squishy! And you'll turn the baby's brain into mush if you keep talking to her like that!"

Sheppard didn't have the courtesy to be embarrassed or even repentant. He just crawled up the mattress and kissed Rodney. "Morning, Rodney. Glad to see you're awake at last."

"At last?" Rodney sputtered. Then he looked at the clock on the table beside him. It was 10:06 according to the red numbers on the digital display. "Oh," he said. "I guess it is kind of late."

Sheppard kissed him again. "Never mind. It's not like either of us needs to be anywhere. In fact, I'd be happy to spend all day in bed." He leaned in and began nuzzling Rodney's neck.

"I-I need to pee," Rodney said, bolting into the bathroom with surprising speed for a pregnant man.

Rodney took his time in the bathroom, going so far as to tidy the area around the sink and straighten up the medicine cabinet. He hoped that if he took long enough, Sheppard would get bored and go upstairs. Somehow, Rodney wasn't surprised to find Sheppard still lying on the bed when he walked out of the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" Sheppard asked.

Rodney nodded stiffly. "Yes, certainly. Pregnant wo-people need to use the facilities more frequently because--"

"There is more pressure exerted on the bladder from the baby as it grows in the womb," Sheppard answered. When Rodney stared at Sheppard incredulously, Sheppard said, "I've been reading up on the subject."

Rodney hugged his belly self-consciously. "Oh, I see."

Sheppard raised an eyebrow. "Are you coming back to bed?"

Rodney blushed. "Oh...uh...I'm kind of hungry."

Sheppard lifted himself up on his elbow. "Great. I'll whip up some breakfast for you and bring it down."

Rodney sighed. "Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but it really isn't necessary."

Sheppard's brow furrowed. "You said you were hungry. I was just offering to make you breakfast. What's the big deal?"

Rodney shook his head impatiently. "I'm not talking about breakfast. I'm talking about-about this!" He gestured at Sheppard and the bed, hoping to get his point across without having to spell it out. However, when he saw the blank look on Sheppard's face, he knew that wasn't an option. Not meeting Sheppard's eyes, Rodney mumbled, "Sympathy sex."

"_What_?" Sheppard rose from the bed and grabbed Rodney by the shoulders. "Are you _serious_?"

Rodney brushed off Sheppard's hands and stepped back. "Yes, I'm serious! I mean, just look at me!"

"I'm looking," Sheppard ground out, obviously trying to control his temper. "I don't see a problem."

"Then you'd better get an ophthalmologist to check your eyes because I'm a blimp!" Rodney snapped. "A big fat _pregnant_ blimp!"

Sheppard's expression softened, though his voice was still gruff. "The only part of that description that's true is the 'pregnant' part and, if anything, I think it only enhances what's already there."

"If you tell me I'm glowing, I'll deck you," Rodney growled.

"Well, go ahead and hit me, then," Sheppard said, "because you _are_ glowing. And, if you want my honest opinion, you've never looked better."

Rodney scowled and turned away from Sheppard. "Don't patronize me."

"I'm not, Rodney. I'm really not." Sheppard laid his hands on Rodney's shoulders again. "Do you have any idea what it's been like living under the same roof as you and barely being able to see you, talk to you, _touch_ you."

Rodney shrugged his tense shoulders and didn't say anything.

"Rodney," Sheppard said.

Rodney closed his eyes. "What?"

Sheppard spun Rodney around and kissed him hard on the lips. Too shocked to react at first, Rodney just stood there, motionless. Then he melted against Sheppard and responded, granting Sheppard's tongue access to the inside of his mouth.

When Sheppard maneuvered Rodney towards the bed, Rodney didn't resist. It wasn't until they were settled on the mattress, and Sheppard was peeling off Rodney's t-shirt, that Rodney began to protest.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Rodney cried. "What do you think you're doing!"

Sheppard leered at him. "What do you think I'm doing?"

Rodney's eyes widened. "Well, you can't. I'm-I'm pregnant."

"Yeah. Kinda noticed." Sheppard tried to grab the hem of Rodney's t-shirt again, groaning when Rodney evaded his hands. "Rodney, lots of pregnant wo-people have sex."

"Not me," Rodney said.

Sheppard made no attempt to hide his pout. "Ah, Rodney, come on. It's been _months_."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. You were on an alien planet in an entirely different galaxy. It's statistically impossible for you _not_ to have had sex."

Sheppard glared at Rodney. "It was _this_ galaxy and it was both statistically and logistically impossible because I wasn't with you."

Rodney's mouth fell open. "Really?"

Sheppard took Rodney's open mouth as a silent invitation to explore his lips. Rodney moaned into the kiss, his fingers tangling in Sheppard's dark hair. Then his breath hitched and he broke the kiss as Sheppard's hand found its way inside his boxers.

"S-someone might come downstairs," Rodney said.

"They won't." Sheppard wrapped his hand around Rodney's cock and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Lie back on the bed. You'll be a lot more comfortable."

Rodney gulped nervously, but obeyed Sheppard's command, lying back against the pillows. Then he was biting back a whimper as Sheppard gave his cock a long, firm stroke. "Wh-what about the baby?"

"What about her?" Sheppard asked. He ran a finger along the underside of Rodney's penis, and Rodney shivered in pleasure.

"The baby..." Rodney said. "Won't this be weird for the baby?"

Sheppard laughed. "Rodney, it's not as if she's going to remember any of this later."

Rodney placed a hand on Sheppard's wrist. "All the same, there must be certain, uh, safety issues to consider."

"No, Rodney, there aren't," Sheppard said. "I checked with Carson and he said sex would be fine."

Rodney's jaw dropped. "You checked with Carson? That was rather presumptuous of you, wasn't it? I mean, I wasn't even talking to you yesterday."

Sheppard grinned. "Oh, I knew you'd come around...eventually." When Rodney opened his mouth to argue, Sheppard bent over quickly to kiss him, running his hand down Rodney's cock for good measure. Rodney released a ragged breath, his hips bucking helplessly. "That's what I like to see," Sheppard murmured. He tightened his grip and began to pump Rodney's penis.

Rodney fisted the sheets and, about forty-five seconds later, he shuddered and came. Flushed and panting, he said, "Oh, the baby's so going to need therapy."

"It's about to get worse." Sheppard yanked down Rodney's boxers and climbed on top of him. Then, freeing his cock, he began to thrust against the crease of Rodney's groin.

"Oh," Rodney said. "That's...oh." His hands moved instinctively to Sheppard's back, lingering at the shoulders for an instant, before wandering down lower to cup Sheppard's ass. Sheppard grunted deep in his throat and sped up, pounding against Rodney.

"Missed this," Sheppard gasped. "Missed you." A trickle of sweat rolled down his forehead, but he blinked it away. "Don't know how I've been able to-to keep my hands off you."

Rodney didn't respond at first. Then a finger slid down the crack in Sheppard's ass and prodded his anus. Sheppard's hips stuttered before he froze and came with a long drawn out moan of pleasure. He collapsed on top of Rodney, breathing hard. A couple of minutes later, he said, "I'll pay for the baby's therapy."

Rodney swept a sweaty strand of hair off Sheppard's forehead. "Yes, you will."

Sheppard snuggled against Rodney's side, resting a palm on Rodney's belly. "I could help out with other things too, you know," he said. "I could feed and change the baby, be there when she learns to walk, teach her how to ride a bike and toss a football."

Rodney snorted. "What? Are you saying you want to be...be her daddy?"

Sheppard threw his arms around Rodney. "I'd love to. Thanks, Rodney."

Rodney stared down at Sheppard in confusion. "Uh, sure. No problem."

"I'll be a good daddy -- the best daddy you've ever seen." Sheppard kissed Rodney and rose from the bed.

"Where are you going?" Rodney asked.

"I'm going to make you breakfast," Sheppard said.

Rodney quickly sat up. "But you can't. You're-you're..." He waved a hand around as if that were all the explanation that was required. "You should shower or, at least, wash your hands."

Sheppard smiled and gazed at Rodney in what Rodney could only assume was a fond expression.

"What?" Rodney demanded.

"You're going to make such a great mommy." Sheppard headed for the bathroom, turning to face Rodney at the threshold. "You should join me. You need to get cleaned up too."

"Uh, no," Rodney said. "It's okay. I'll wait till you're finished."

Sheppard shot a disapproving look at Rodney. "You're going to have to trust me again at some point." He walked back to the bed and held out his hand to Rodney. "I promise not to laugh this time." Sheppard looked so hopeful that Rodney didn't have the heart to deny him. He took Sheppard's hand, and Sheppard beamed brightly as he pulled Rodney off the mattress.

Sheppard was still beaming when they went upstairs after their shower. When Jeannie walked into the kitchen, her lips twitched at the sight of the blissful colonel cooking an omelet in her frying pan. Then her eyes fell on Rodney, who was sitting at the table watching Sheppard with a bemused expression. Jeannie leaned over Rodney's shoulder and whispered, "I'd ask but I really _don't_ want to know."

Rodney seized Jeannie's arm and, managing to haul himself out of his chair, dragged his sister to the living room. "He wants to be the baby's daddy," Rodney hissed. "What do I do?"

Jeannie gaped at him in disbelief. "Uh, say, 'Yes, please' and then go down on your knees and thank God -- or whatever divine power you might believe in."

"I'm serious, Jeannie," Rodney said.

"And you think I'm not?" Jeannie asked. "You're going to need all the help you can get. You should be grateful he's offering at all. Have a lawyer draw up an ironclad pre-nup, get a ring on his finger, and don't look back."

Rodney glared at Jeannie. "Hello? Have you heard of 'Don't ask, don't tell'? Even if it wasn't an issue, do you seriously expect me to waddle down to City Hall in my condition and get married?"

"No, of course not," Jeannie said.

Rodney heaved a sigh of relief. "Well, _good_."

"No, obviously you'd wait until after the baby's born and _then_ get married -- secretly, of course, so that the military doesn't find out." Jeannie was grinning openly, but Rodney saw nothing funny about the situation."

"What if something goes wrong and the baby...the baby doesn't survive?" Rodney asked.

Jeannie instantly threw her hands over Rodney's belly, as if to cover the baby's ears. "God, how can you say such a thing?"

Rodney crossed his arms. "Somebody has to," he said. "Even if the baby does come to term, who's to say I'll be allowed to keep her?" Rodney glanced down at his belly sullenly. "If her _real_ mommy wants her back, there's not much I can do to stop her." He frowned to himself. "Do you honestly think Sheppard would want to marry me if the baby wasn't in the picture?"

"Maybe you should ask him." Sheppard was standing just outside the kitchen, still holding a spatula in his hand. Rodney blushed, refusing to meet Sheppard's eyes, but Sheppard wasn't about to let the subject rest. "I'm glad you've finally started to give some serious thought about what you're going to do when the baby comes to term," he said.

Rodney's eyes flicked back to Sheppard and he thrust up his chin defensively. "Oh, and you think I _haven't_ given it any serious thought before now?"

"Well, if you have, I haven't heard anything about it." Sheppard glanced at Jeannie, who shook her head.

"I'm as much in the dark as you are, flyboy," Jeannie said.

Sheppard rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know how these things work in Scarborough, but we'd hold a family meeting where I come from."

Jeannie nodded. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

Rodney's eyes widened. "Oh, no. I almost got killed the last time I attended a family meeting."

When Sheppard stared at Rodney quizzically, Jeannie said, "He's exaggerating. The plate missed his head by a mile. Besides, Mom wasn't even aiming for him. It's just lucky for Rodney _and_ Dad that she used to throw like a girl."

Sheppard tossed a nervous glance at Rodney, and Rodney knew that Sheppard was remembering all the objects that had been thrown at him from the basement bathroom. Sheppard cleared his throat and looked away. "Where's Carson?" he asked. "He should be here before we discuss anything."

"He went to the park with Andrew," Jeannie said. "He seems to think he can get Andrew talking again through a bit of male bonding." She shrugged. "I guess it can't hurt."

Sheppard smiled sympathetically. "You don't sound too convinced."

"Andrew's extremely stubborn," Jeannie said. "I figure I'll be lucky if he's talking to me by the time he's old enough to vote." She grimaced. "I just hope Harper isn't still in power. It would be just my luck for Andrew to vote for him just to spite me."

Rodney shook his head. "Andrew's a smart kid: he wouldn't vote for Harper -- not even to spite you." He leaned against the back of the armchair, not wanting to sit down because he knew breakfast would soon be ready. "Maybe we should hold a family meeting for Andrew because this not talking thing is pretty serious."

Sheppard pointed his spatula at him. "Not as serious as an imminent birth."

Rodney laughed. "Imminent? Please. It's not as if the baby's about to pop out of me."

"No," Jeannie said, "but the event's not too far off. You're how far along now? Twenty-four, twenty-five weeks?"

Rodney tightened his grip on the back of the armchair. "Almost twenty-six."

Jeannie crossed over to the armchair. "Rodney, you've got just a little more than two months -- less if the baby decides to come early."

Rodney shot Jeannie a frantic look. "Why would she do that?"

Jeannie shrugged. "Babies are born early for all kinds of reasons."

"And given the, uh, unique circumstances of your pregnancy," Sheppard said, "Carson might have to deliver the baby early -- for her safety as well as yours."

Rodney felt his knees buckle and was grateful when Jeannie guided him into the armchair. "Oh my God," he gasped. "What am I going to do?"

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
"Well, you can't have the baby here," Carson said. "You know that, don't you?" He was standing in front of the armchair, gazing down at Rodney, his arms crossed over his chest.

Rodney, who had been staring up at Carson with big blue eyes, huffed indignantly. "Well, of course I can't have the baby here. It's the living room: someone might come to the door or look through the window."

Carson exchanged a weary glance with Sheppard. "I meant here in _Scarborough_, Rodney."

"Oh." Rodney was at a loss for a moment, but then he snapped his fingers. "Toronto! Toronto has some of the best--"

Carson shook his head. "Rodney, it's not the hospitals that are the problem," he said. "_You're_ the problem. You can't be admitted into a hospital. You know that."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Well, obviously. We'd have to sneak in or-or borrow some equipment."

Carson's eyebrows soared up on his forehead. "Oh? And how do you reckon we do that?"

Rodney lifted his chin. "Sheppard and I have snuck into all kinds of places. A hospital should be a piece of cake."

Carson shot a beseeching look at Sheppard, who crossed over to the armchair and crouched before Rodney. "You're not exactly in any condition to sneak anywhere, buddy," Sheppard said. "Besides, what would happen if we got caught? Is it really worth the risk?"

"I-I guess not." Rodney laid a hand on his belly, refusing to meet either Sheppard's or Carson's eyes.

"Rodney, you know what the answer is," Jeannie said from the couch. "You have to go back to either the SGC or Atlantis."

Rodney's head snapped up. "But they'll take the baby, turn her into a lab rat."

Sheppard took Rodney's hand. "You don't know that."

Rodney pulled his hand free. "And you don't know that they won't!"

"Rodney, it's the only safe option for you and the baby," Carson said. "I didn't mention it before because I didn't want to worry you, but this birth could have added complications given your physiology." He sighed. "I don't know if I can perform the procedure alone and I certainly wouldn't want to perform it without the facilities both the SGC and Atlantis could provide."

Rodney swallowed convulsively. "But there has to be another way."

Carson smiled down at him sadly. "I'm sorry, Rodney, but I don't think there is. We have to go back. We can't stay here any longer."

Sheppard, who hadn't been able to bring himself to look at Rodney's face, caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Gazing at the hallway, he saw a flash of dark hair before a small figure turned and disappeared. Sheppard patted Rodney's knee and stood.

"Uh, I'll be right back," he said.

When Sheppard reached Andrew's room, he found the door was closed and he was facing a big red and white STOP sign. Sheppard knocked anyway. Then, when there was no response, Sheppard turned the door knob and walked into the room.

His eyes fell on the Leafs posters first and then took in the boy sitting on the edge of the bed. Andrew's back was to him, but Sheppard could see the thin shoulders shaking and the fingers clenched in the sheets.

Sheppard approached Andrew cautiously and sat down on the bed. He placed a hand gently on Andrew's back, and Andrew released a sharp breath that sounded like a sob. Then Andrew was sobbing, and Sheppard wrapped his arms around him, cradling him against his chest.

It took a couple of attempts before Sheppard could speak and, even then, the voice that emerged from his throat was hoarse to his ears. "It's okay, buddy. It's going to be okay." He propped his chin on Andrew's head and rubbed his back. "Is this because we might be leaving?" Sheppard asked.

Minutes passed before Andrew answered Sheppard's question. "Britney has two dads," he choked out, "and the baby's going to have two dads. I...I just want _one_!"

Sheppard sat in stunned silence for a moment before the truth hit him. Andrew had seen Carson and his mother grow increasingly closer and had probably been hoping that they would get married, that the three of them would become a family, that Carson would be his dad.

"Oh, buddy," Sheppard whispered. "_Andrew_." Because even with the best will in the world, or even two galaxies, there was nothing he could do to help Andrew with _that_ problem.

When Andrew finally stopped crying, and was sagging against Sheppard, completely wrung out, Sheppard planted a kiss on his forehead and laid him back against his pillows.

"Get some sleep," Sheppard said, and Andrew closed his eyes obediently. Then Sheppard rose from the mattress and saw Jeannie standing in the doorway, watching them. Sheppard opened his mouth to speak, but Jeannie put a finger to her lips and turned, walking out into the hall.

As soon as Sheppard had shut the door behind him, he began to speak. "Uh, I didn't mean to...I wasn't trying to..." _What, John? Play mom? Take over her job?_

Jeannie touched Sheppard's arm. "It's okay. You did good in there." She smiled despite the tears swimming in her eyes.

Sheppard couldn't mask his astonishment. "Yeah? You think?"

Jeannie nodded. "Yeah."

Sheppard ducked his head almost shyly. "I didn't do anything special. I just -- I don't know -- did what seemed natural."

"It's enough," Jeannie said. "You'd be surprised how hard that can be for some parents."

Sheppard stared at her, wondering if she was talking about her own parents, her ex, or maybe even herself.

"So is he upset because you're all leaving?" Jeannie asked, disrupting Sheppard's thoughts.

Sheppard grimaced. "Uh, it's a little more complicated than that."

"Oh, the dad thing," Jeannie said.

Mistaking Jeannie's worn out tone for casual dismissal, Sheppard felt his temper rising. "Maybe you don't know what it's like, but it hurts like hell when you're a kid and you think your dad doesn't want you, or you're just not important enough, or he's just never there. It's...it's worse than having a Wraith slam its hand against your chest."

Jeannie gazed up at Sheppard, no longer able to hold back the tears. "Do you think I _want_ this? Do you think I _want_ to hurt my kid? I've tried everything I can think of to make it up to him, to be his mom _and_ dad, but it's just not enough. It's _never_ enough." The tears were now running down Jeannie's face and she was brushing at them awkwardly. Before Sheppard knew what he was doing, he was pulling Jeannie into his arms because, although she wasn't a nine-year-old boy, she was obviously hurting just as badly.

"I'm sorry," Sheppard said. "I-I shouldn't have said anything. Please just...Please stop crying."

"John." Carson was standing in the hall, his hands reaching out for Jeannie. Sheppard released her and gratefully passed her off to Carson. Then he bolted to the living room.

Rodney was still sitting in the armchair, looking a bit lost and overwhelmed. Sheppard nudged Rodney's leg with his foot.

"Are you okay?" Sheppard asked.

Rodney nodded, though he seemed far from convinced.

"Family is hard," Sheppard said.

Rodney laughed, though it was a hollow sound. "Yeah, tell me about it."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Sheppard's definition of family went from "hard" to "impossible" a couple of days later when he answered the front door.

"Can I help you?" Sheppard asked the woman standing on the front stoop.

The woman seemed surprised to see Sheppard, if the way she clutched her macramé handbag was any indication. "Who are you?" she asked.

Sheppard held out his hand. "John Sheppard," he said. Then he retracted the hand when it was ignored.

"Why are you here?" The woman was staring up at Sheppard disdainfully, and Sheppard tried not to flinch under her gaze.

"Uh...I'm staying here," Sheppard said, though he was tempted to ask her why it was any of her business.

The woman raised her eyebrows. "You're staying here? Why?"

Sheppard's hands shifted to his hips. "I'm sorry, but who are you?" he asked. "What do you want?"

The woman crossed her arms over her turquoise glitter-puff t-shirt. "I'm Donna. I'm Andrew's grandmother."

"Oh," Sheppard said. "Well, Andrew's not here. He has a doctor's appointment."

Donna frowned. "So, you're here alone?"

"No, Rodney's here, though, uh, he can't see anyone right now." Sheppard rubbed the back of his neck and squirmed uncomfortably. "Carson went with Jeannie and Andrew."

Donna's expression darkened. "Carson? That Scottish man? He's _still_ here?"

Sheppard didn't like Donna's tone at all. "Yes, he's still here. Is there any reason why he shouldn't be?"

"I can think of several," Donna said, "but I doubt you'd be interested in what I have to say."

Sheppard gave Donna a lazy grin. "I'm not interested, but tell me anyway."

Donna drew herself up haughtily. "I would have thought that Jeannie would look to her own reputation if she's unable to consider the welfare of her son."

Sheppard gaped at Donna. "_Excuse me_?"

Donna smiled coldly. "It was bad enough when she was living with one strange man, but living with two--"

"Whoa," Sheppard said. "There's nothing going on between me and Jeannie. I only just _met_ her."

Donna's smile grew even colder. "But that Scottish man hasn't just met her: he's been here for months."

"I'm not sure what you're implying," Sheppard said, though he actually _was_ pretty sure, "but I don't think it's really any of your business, do you?"

"It is when it affects my grandson," Donna snapped.

Sheppard crossed his arms and slouched against the door frame. "Well, I can't speak for how it may be affecting your grandson, but I know that he's only benefitted from Carson being here."

Donna looked skeptical. "Oh, really? May I ask how?"

"Well, he was there when Andrew got hurt during his hockey game," Sheppard said. Then he instantly regretted it when he saw the horrified look on Donna's face. _Uh, oh..._

"Andrew was hurt?" Donna demanded. "When? How?"

Sheppard gulped. "It was a few days ago. Another player accidentally knocked him on the ice and Andrew got a concussion -- a minor concussion."

Donna stared at Sheppard. "Andrew had a _concussion_ and Jeannie didn't tell me? Didn't tell Andrew's _father_?"

Sheppard winced. "Look, I'm sure Jeannie was planning to tell you as soon as she could," he said. "She's been kind of busy what with her son being injured and all..."

Donna fixed Sheppard with an icy glare. "Too busy to make one simple phone call to me or the boy's father?" She shook her head in disgust and turned to walk back to her car.

"Uh, would you like me to give Jeannie a message or something?" Sheppard called out as Donna headed down the driveway.

Donna didn't even spare Sheppard a glance as she unlocked her car door. "As Jeannie couldn't be bothered to contact me or my son when Andrew was hurt, I don't really see the point, do you?"

Sheppard waited until Donna was driving away before he stepped out of the doorway, made his way to the couch, and sat down with his head in his hands. He didn't know how much time had passed when he felt the couch dip and a hand curl around his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Rodney asked.

"Jeannie's going to kill me," Sheppard said.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
No one was surprised when Chris showed up at the house, least of all Carson. Carson had been on edge all evening and sprang off the couch as soon as he heard the doorbell, determined to reach his adversary before Jeannie could. Both men eyed each other angrily as Jeannie bit her lip anxiously and almost began wringing her hands. Then she shot a concerned look at Andrew, who had turned off PlayStation 2 when he'd heard Chris's car in the driveway, but was still in the living room.

"Go to your room," Jeannie said, but Andrew didn't move. "Please?" she added.

Andrew shook his head and ran towards the basement.

Chris laughed. "Those are some parenting skills you've got there, Jeannie. I guess I shouldn't be surprised considering that my mom had to hear the news about her grandson's concussion from a total stranger." He brushed past Carson and walked into the living room. "I'm Andrew's father. I had a right to know."

Jeannie lifted her chin. "Are you his father?" she asked. "Because you haven't been acting much like one."

Chris snorted. "Oh, is this about the alimony you claim I owe you? Because being a father is about more than just money."

"Yeah, it's about being there for your kid," Jeannie said. "It's about being involved enough in his life to _know_ that he was injured and _not_ having to wait to be told." She sighed and shook her head. "Thanks for asking Andrew how he was doing by the way. That was really swell."

Chris scowled. "I didn't have to. Andrew knows I love him -- more than all the men you've got living with you." He glanced at Carson coldly. "Out of curiosity, how many men are you sleeping with at the moment? Two?"

Jeannie's cheeks flushed. "Not that it's any of your business, but it's just the one," she said. Then she smiled as Carson wrapped an arm around her waist.

Chris frowned. "Then who's the pretty boy for?" he asked. "Your crazy brother with the exploding tumours? And, for the record, I know he lied about that!"

Jeannie rolled her eyes. "Bully for you."

Chris glared at Jeannie. "You haven't answered my question."

"I'll answer it." Sheppard had appeared in the living room. When the doorbell had rung, he'd immediately herded Rodney down to the basement. Now, he was leaning against the wall, one eyebrow raised. "The answer is yes," he told Chris. "I'm here for Rodney."

"Oh, that's just wonderful," Chris said. "It's bad enough my son lives across the street from a pair of faggots, but now he's living under the same roof with two more -- two faggots and a whore."

In a matter of seconds, Carson had seized Chris by the front of his shirt and was shoving him against the front door. Through the intense wave of fury, he could hear Jeannie calling his name, but he blocked her out. Then there were hands on his shoulders, and Sheppard was prying him off Chris.

"Don't sink to his level, Carson," Sheppard said. "You're better than that."

"No, I'm bloody well not," Carson growled. He tried to break away from Sheppard, but Sheppard wasn't letting go.

"Yes, you are," Sheppard said. "Too bad I'm not." He grabbed Chris's wrist and, twisting his arm behind his back, slammed Chris against the same door Carson had just chosen. He leaned forward so that he was speaking directly into Chris's ear. "I don't care what you say about me, but you _won't_ talk about Jeannie, her brother, or her friends that way."

"What are you going to do?" Chris asked. "Beat me up?" He couldn't quite hide the nervousness in his voice, though he seemed determined not to back down.

Sheppard smiled and released Chris's arm. "No, I thought we could have a little talk. How about we step outside, so you can cool down, tough guy?"

"Have you been outside today?" Chris said. "It's 28 with the humidex, dumbass."

"Have you ever been to Afghanistan in the summer?" Sheppard asked. "28 _is_ cool." He opened the door and pushed Chris outside with more force than was really necessary.

"Sheppard!" Jeannie was slipping on her sneakers and preparing to follow the two men through the door, but Carson placed a hand on her arm and shook his head.

"Sheppard will handle it," Carson said.

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of." Jeannie moved to the window, standing so close that her nose was almost up against the glass. "What's he doing?"

Carson joined Jeannie at the window, his eyes following Jeannie's finger as she pointed to the driveway. Chris was backed up against his Mazda, and Sheppard seemed to have no scruples about invading the man's personal space. Carson knew that couldn't be good sign. Sheppard didn't usually stand that close to another man unless he was engaged in a heated argument or was threatening him. Carson suspected it was the latter.

"Sheppard wouldn't hurt him, would he?" Jeannie asked. "I mean, I can't stand the guy, but it might upset Andrew."

Although Sheppard could often be unpredictable, he rarely swerved where his own moral code was concerned. Chris was a civilian, and they were in Scarborough, not a war zone, a hive ship, or a hostile planet in the Pegasus Galaxy.

"Chris should be okay," Carson said. "I doubt Sheppard will lay a finger on him."

"Hmm." Jeannie craned her neck, trying to get a better look at Chris, but Sheppard was a tall man and he obscured most of her view. "Damn it," Jeannie muttered. "I never should have let Chris take the binoculars in the divorce." She jumped up and down a few times, which was an entirely fruitless effort on her part, but something Carson found mildly amusing.

Carson was about to ask Jeannie what she thought Sheppard might be saying, when Sheppard stepped away from Chris. Carson and Jeannie froze as Chris stuck a hand in his pocket and extracted his car keys. However, instead of going to the driver's side and getting in behind the wheel, Chris opened one of the rear doors and stuck his head in the back.

Carson watched the tableau in confusion. "What's he doing?"

Jeannie shook her head, looking mystified. Then her hand flew out and latched on to Carson. "Oh my God! You don't think he's got a gun back there, do you?" When Carson stared at her incredulously, Jeannie raised her chin and said, "What? You never know. It is the East End after all."

Carson and Jeannie had their noses pressed to the window, and were holding their breath, when Chris re-emerged from the back seat of his car. He wasn't holding a gun, though there was something in his hand. Carson squinted his eyes, but he couldn't make out what it was.

"What's he doing now?" Jeannie asked when Chris, still facing his vehicle, leaned against the car's roof.

Carson studied Chris for an instant, taking a guess based on the hunch of Chris's shoulders. "I think he's writing something," Carson said.

Jeannie's brow creased. "Writing what?"

When Chris turned around, he handed something to Sheppard before climbing into his car and driving away. Sheppard walked calmly back to the house, and through the door, as if nothing had happened. He almost seemed surprised when Jeannie accosted him in the front hall.

"What did you say to him?" Jeannie demanded. "What did he give you?"

Sheppard tried to charm Jeannie with one of his patent smiles, but Jeannie grabbed an ear and started dragging him into the living room.

"Okay, okay!" Sheppard said. "Just let go of my ear, will you?" He managed to reach into the pocket of his jeans and pull out a folded slip of paper. "Here you go."

Jeannie released Sheppard's ear and took the piece of paper. She stared at it suspiciously for a moment and then unfolded it. Her eyes flew back to Sheppard's face as soon as she read what was on it. "Is-is this a cheque?"

Sheppard smiled again, but this time the smile was a genuinely happy one. "Well, it sure looks that way to me."

"But-but how?" Jeannie asked. "Why?"

"He owes you alimony, doesn't he?" Sheppard said. "Think of this as Chris's first payment."

Jeannie ran her fingers slowly over the cheque as if she couldn't quite believe what she was holding. "There's nothing written for-for the amount."

Sheppard bowed his head sheepishly. "Chris didn't know how much he should write the cheque for, so I suggested that he let you fill in the amount."

Jeannie gaped at Sheppard. "And he _agreed_ to that?"

Sheppard laughed quietly to himself. "Well, it took some convincing on my part, but I can be pretty persuasive when I want to be."

"I...I don't know what to say. Thank you." Jeannie threw her arms around Sheppard's neck and kissed him on the cheek. Sheppard hesitated then returned the hug, and Carson thought Sheppard looked less awkward and embarrassed than he would have looked in the past.

"What's going on?" Rodney asked. He'd come up from the basement with Andrew in time to see the hug, but nothing else.

Jeannie let go of Sheppard and ran over to Rodney, waving the cheque. "Look what Sheppard did! He coerced Chris into paying alimony!"

Sheppard flinched. "Uh, I prefer the word 'persuaded'. 'Coerced' seems...seems..."

"Like coercion?" Carson suggested.

Sheppard gave him a dirty look. "Uh, yeah. Something like that."

"Well, I don't care _how_ you did it," Jeannie said. "I'm just thankful you did."

Sheppard blushed and waved off Jeannie's gratitude. Then his eyes widened as Rodney walked up to him with what could only be described as a wanton look. Rodney trailed a hand down Sheppard's chest and peered up at him through his lashes.

"Wanna come back to my place?" Rodney asked.

Sheppard broke into a grin. "Uh, yeah. Okay." He took Rodney's hand and they headed quickly downstairs to the basement.

Jeannie didn't even try to hide her disgust. "Okay, _ewww_! That's not something I needed to see! Not from my brother!"

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Carson didn't know if the prospect of financial security had made Jeannie more confident, but she seemed determined to fix all of Rodney's problems over dinner the next night. She nagged him about the baby, asking him just how he planned to bring her into the world. Finally, Rodney set down his knife and fork and said, "It's already been taken care of."

Sheppard's jaw dropped. "It has?"

"Yes, it has." Rodney gazed down at his plate. "I called Sam."

Sheppard's eyes narrowed. "You called Sam? Sam Carter? Colonel Samantha Carter? The woman you've been lusting after since the first day you met her?"

Rodney's chin jerked up. "That's 'lusted over'. Past tense. I'm totally over her now since..." He made a wide circular motion with his hand that was meant to encompass him and Sheppard and represent their relationship, even if the hand in question almost hit Andrew in the head.

"You could have called anyone," Sheppard said. "Why her?"

Rodney rolled his eyes as if the answer should have been obvious. "Because she's brilliant, high-ranking, and has some serious clout with the SGC."

Sheppard opened his mouth again, but Jeannie silenced him with a look. "Do you trust this woman, Rodney?"

Rodney nodded. "Yes. I trust her almost as much as I trust all of you."

"Then you did the right thing," Jeannie said. However, she began questioning the validity of that statement three days later, when she found herself greeting a tall, beautiful blond at the front door.

"You must be Colonel Carter. It's-it's nice to meet you." Jeannie almost reached out to shake Carter's hand, but then she realized that it might not be proper protocol where the American military was concerned.

Carter smiled. "And you must be Rodney's sister. It's nice to meet you too."

"Why do you think that?" Jeannie demanded. "I mean, why do you think I'm Rodney's sister, not why do you think it's nice to meet me. I assume the 'nice to meet you' is just politeness on your part."

Carter smothered a laugh. "Well, I assumed you were Rodney's sister because, as far as I know, you're the only woman here, though there definitely is a resemblance," Carter said. "And I wasn't just being polite. It _is_ nice to meet you." Carter extended her hand and Jeannie took it, blushing.

Sheppard rose from the couch and saluted Carter as soon as she walked into the living room. "It's great to see you, Colonel. Thanks for coming."

"At ease," Carter said. "And it's Sam. I'm only in uniform because I came straight from a meeting in Washington and didn't have a chance to change." She nodded at Carson, who had also risen when she'd arrived, then her eyes scanned the living room, as if she were looking for something. "Where's Rodney? Is he okay? He didn't say much on the phone. He just told me he needed my help and asked me to come as soon as possible. Is he in some kind of trouble?"

Sheppard exchanged a quick look with Carson before answering Carter. "Uh, not exactly. Maybe it would be best if you saw Rodney and he, uh, explained the situation himself."

"Okay," Carter said. "If you think that's best."

Sheppard sighed. "To be honest, I don't know what's best." He disappeared from the living room, and Carter watched him leave in confusion.

Jeannie laughed nervously. "How about some coffee, or-or tea? I know. I'll make both." She fled into the kitchen, but Carter was right on her heels.

"What's going on?" Carter asked. "Is Rodney sick? Why has he been staying here all this time?"

Jeannie started rummaging in a cupboard for tea bags. "Trust me. It's better if you see him first. Everything will make a lot more sense if you do."

"She's right," Carson said, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "This really is something you'll need to see to believe, Colonel." He waved Carter to a chair, and Carter sat down reluctantly. Then Sheppard bustled into the kitchen.

"Okay, Rodney will be up in a minute. He just wanted to change first."

Jeannie's head popped out of another cupboard. "Change first? Why the hell would he need to change first?" Then she caught the look Sheppard was giving Carter and understood. "Oh. Right."

The kitchen fell into an uncomfortable silence, and then everyone heard Rodney making his way up the stairs.

Sheppard immediately started chanting under his breath. "Please don't laugh, please don't laugh, please don't laugh." Then Jeannie elbowed him sharply in the ribs, and Sheppard groaned instead.

Carson watched Carter's face carefully as Rodney entered the kitchen, but even he was surprised when Carter leapt up from the table and knocked over her chair.

"Hi, Sam," Rodney said.

"Holy Hannah!" Carter gasped.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Carter stared at Rodney's belly for almost a full minute before advancing slowly towards him. Her hand began extending, as if by its own volition, almost touching Rodney's belly, before Carter seemed to snap out of her trance. Blushing, Carter said, "May I?"

Rodney nodded. "Of course."

Carter cautiously laid her hand on Rodney's belly. Then she sprang back in surprise when she felt the baby kick. "Oh my God, you're pregnant!" Carter cried. "You're really really pregnant!"

Rodney smirked. "Yes, I really really am."

"But how...how is this even possible?" Carter asked.

"Maybe you should sit down," Rodney said.

Carter shook her head, her eyes still fixed on Rodney's belly. "No, no, I'm fine."

"Well, then, maybe _I_ should sit down." Rodney headed to the living room, Carter following closely behind him.

"How did it happen? Was it an Ancient device?" Carter was about to sit down on the couch beside Rodney, but Sheppard dodged past the coffee table and stole her spot. Rodney shot Sheppard a confused look, while Carson and Jeannie tried to smother their laughter. Carter simply raised an eyebrow and sat next to Sheppard instead.

"The embryo was implanted by an ascended Ancient," Rodney said. "I think she may have been pregnant when she ascended and, as she couldn't carry the baby herself, was looking for a surrogate."

Carter leaned past Sheppard to look directly at Rodney. "But you're a man. Why wouldn't she have chosen a female surrogate instead?"

Rodney shrugged. "I came across her in an Ancient lab that had obviously been abandoned thousands of years ago. Maybe I was the first human she'd come across since ascending."

Carter shook her head, unconvinced. "But if she ascended then surely she could have found a woman to carry her child."

Sheppard turned to Carter, effectively blocking her view of Rodney. "If she'd left the lab to impregnate a woman, it would have been seen as interference by the other Ancients."

Carter stared at Sheppard in disbelief. "Oh, and impregnating Rodney _wasn't_ interfering?"

Rodney placed a hand on Sheppard's chest and pushed him back against the couch cushions. "She was healing me at the time," he said. "In fact, she saved my life. And, yes, I realize that's interference too, but, in doing so, she killed a Wraith, so I'm sure that must have earned her some brownie points."

"Killed a Wraith and knocked up an astrophysicist," Sheppard muttered.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Well, I've never claimed that her actions were entirely selfless, but, then, I can't think of a lot of Ancients who didn't have some motive for their actions, can you?"

"No," Sheppard said. "I guess not."

Carter got up from the couch, walking around the coffee table to stand in front of Rodney. "What are you going to do?" she asked. "Do you plan to raise the baby yourself?" She glanced at Carson. "How do you plan to deliver it? You obviously can't do it here."

"Ah, that's actually why I called you," Rodney said. "I need your help, Sam."

Carter nodded. "Okay. What do you want me to do?"

Rodney shared the full details of his predicament, emphasizing the need to protect the baby from the American government and all branches of the military. Carson thought it was to Carter's credit that she listened patiently, remaining silent until Rodney had finished speaking.

"So, basically you're looking for safe passage back to Atlantis," Carter said.

"And assurance that I'll be able to reach Atlantis without military interference." Rodney's chin was raised and his hand was resting on his belly.

Carter crossed her arms. "If you want _my_ help, there's going to have to be _some_ military interference." She sighed when Rodney tilted his chin even higher. "Rodney, I don't know if I can give you that kind of guarantee. My rank isn't high enough. However, I know someone who can help."

"Who?" Rodney demanded.

"General O'Neill," Carter said.

Rodney's eyes narrowed. "Why O'Neill?"

Carter hesitated, considering her words carefully. "Because I trust him and I know he'd do everything in his power to protect the baby. He'd never allow the government or military to take it."

"Her," Sheppard said. "Rodney's going to have a little girl."

Carter smiled. "Her, then. General O'Neill will protect _her_."

Rodney shifted uncomfortably. "I don't think O'Neill likes me very much. He may not want to help."

Carter crouched down in front of Rodney, resting a hand on his knee. "I'm sure that's not true, Rodney. Even if it was, he'd still help you."

"Oh, and why is that?" Rodney asked.

"Because I'm going to convince him." Carter rose from her haunches, reached into a pocket for her cell phone, and then turned to Jeannie. "Would you mind if I made this call in the kitchen?"

"You can use my bedroom or the basement if you'd like some privacy," Jeannie said.

"No, the kitchen's fine." Carter flipped open her phone and began punching buttons as she walked out of the living room.

During Carter's phone call, Andrew emerged from his room. Carson had sent him to bed earlier when he saw that Andrew was suffering from another headache. Andrew still seemed to be half asleep as he almost walked past the kitchen without noticing Carter. When he did spot Carter, he stopped and stared at her. "Is that Colonel Carter?" he asked. "She's beautiful."

Rodney snorted. "She's out of your league, kid."

Andrew looked thoughtful. "Maybe she likes younger men."

Both Rodney's and Jeannie's mouths fell open, but it was Sheppard who spoke. "What is it with you McKay men and Carter? Is it hereditary or something?"

Carter reappeared in the living room before anyone could answer. "Okay, I managed to get a hold of General O'Neill. He says he'll be here tomorrow."

Jeannie's eyebrows soared. "Wow. You must have been _really_ convincing."

Carter grinned. "It didn't take much. I think he's looking for an excuse to get out of Washington." Her eyes fell on Andrew. "Oh, hello."

Andrew stepped forward, thrusting out his hand. "Hi, I'm Andrew."

Carter grasped Andrew's hand eagerly. "Sam," she said.

"Would you like to see my hockey cards?" Andrew asked.

"Sure." Carter took Andrew's arm and allowed him to lead her to his room.

"She's still out of your league," Rodney said.

Carter glanced at Rodney over her shoulder. "I've fallen for guys who were into hockey before." She ruffled Andrew's hair, and Andrew gazed up at her adoringly.

"She's a McKay siren," Sheppard growled.

Rodney sighed dreamily. "Yeah."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Much to Andrew's disappointment, and Sheppard's relief, Carter didn't stay the night. However, she did return the following day with Major General Jack O'Neill in tow -- literally.   
"Is this going to take long?" O'Neill asked after he'd been introduced to Jeannie and Andrew. "It's just that there's this sweet street hockey game going on outside."

Carter swatted O'Neill's arm. "Sir!"

O'Neill pouted. "What? I said I'd help McKay -- whatever his problem is."

"You didn't tell him?" Carson and Jeannie exclaimed.

Carter smiled. "I thought it would be more fun this way."

"What would be more fun?" O'Neill asked. He scanned the living room impatiently. "Where the heck is McKay anyway? And shouldn't Sheppard be here too?"

"They're in the basement," Carson said. "I'll go fetch them."

"Whoa, now. Let's not do anything hasty." O'Neill's eyes wandered to the window and the street outside. Then they flew to Andrew, who was parked in front of his PlayStation. "I'm surprised you're not out there."

Andrew scowled but didn't take his eyes off the TV. "Mom won't let me."

O'Neill turned to Jeannie, one eyebrow raised. "You won't let him?"

Jeannie crossed her arms. "The last time he played hockey, he ended up with a concussion. You'll have to forgive me if I don't want my son getting killed next time."

"I see." O'Neill took Jeannie by the elbow and herded her to the kitchen. "We need to talk."

"What?" Jeannie said. "But..."

Carson never found out what they talked about, as their conversation couldn't be heard outside the kitchen, but, when they returned, they were both pale and Jeannie seemed visibly shaken.

Carson touched Jeannie's shoulder in concern. "Are you all right, luv?"

Jeannie nodded then looked at Andrew. "You can play street hockey if you want to."

Andrew's head whipped around in surprise. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Jeannie said.

Andrew turned off his PlayStation and jumped to his feet. "Thanks, Mom!"

O'Neill walked over to the window and watched Andrew run down the driveway. Carter leaned towards Jeannie, and Carson just managed to hear what she said.

"He told you about Charlie, didn't he?" Carter asked.

"Yes," Jeannie whispered. She cleared her throat. "I'll go get Rodney."

O'Neill was still standing at the window when Jeannie returned with Rodney and Sheppard. He turned towards them and froze, gaping at Rodney. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he could speak. "There's something different about you. Have you done something with your hair?"

Rodney snorted. "Yeah, and I got a manicure while I was at it."

"Riiight." O'Neill crossed the room, his eyes glued to Rodney's belly. "So, what happened?"

"Oh, the usual," Sheppard said. "Rodney was impregnated by an Ancient."

O'Neill nodded. "As one is in the Pegasus Galaxy." His eyes flicked back to Rodney's belly. "Maybe you'd better start from the beginning."

Rodney sighed and headed over to the couch to tell his story once again. O'Neill remained standing, but Sheppard sat down beside Rodney.

"You must be so proud," O'Neill said to Sheppard once Rodney had finished. Carson could tell that O'Neill was joking, but Sheppard seemed to take the question seriously.

Wrapping an arm around Rodney's shoulders, Sheppard said, "I get to be the daddy."

Rodney quickly shook off Sheppard's arm. "Shut up!" he hissed. "Are you trying to destroy your career?"

O'Neill rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Uh, I'm not asking, so you don't need to be telling."

Sheppard smiled and patted Rodney's belly. "Okay. Just as long as I get to be the daddy."

Rodney shot a long-suffering look at O'Neill and threw up his hands.

O'Neill moved closer to Sheppard, cupping his ear. "I'm sorry. What was that? I seem to have gone temporarily deaf."

Rodney clamped a hand over Sheppard's mouth. "Nothing. He said nothing."

O'Neill's eyes shifted back to the window. "Is there some reason you've asked me here? Other than to hear your happy news, that is?"

"Rodney requires safe passage back to Atlantis," Carter said.

O'Neill stared at Carter blankly. "Safe passage?"

Carter nodded. "The American military will naturally want to kidnap Rodney and the baby."

"They will?" O'Neill asked.

Carter jerked her head at Rodney. "Yes, sir. Of course they will."

O'Neill's eyebrows rose. "Oh! Oh, right. Yes, I have to admit that I'm fighting the urge to kidnap McKay and the baby myself."

When Rodney's eyes widened and he shrank back against Sheppard, Carter said, "He's just kidding. You are just kidding, aren't you, sir?"

O'Neill rolled his eyes. "I think I can resist the temptation." He glanced at Rodney's belly and sighed. "I'll make some calls, see what I can do."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
O'Neill started making calls that same day -- once he'd had his fill of street hockey. Three days after that, they were packing and making arrangements to leave. While Sheppard seemed excited by the prospect of returning to Atlantis, Rodney was nervous and moody and Carson was quiet and withdrawn. Jeannie made a valiant effort to be cheerful, when it was painfully obvious that she was on the verge of tears. Andrew seemed to cope by avoiding the situation altogether, first going out to play with his friends and then retreating to his room. He didn't even appear when Jamie and Claude came over, though he did let Britney in his room when she knocked on the door.

When both Carson and Jeannie had been forced to flee to the bathroom in a flood of tears, Sheppard had made a hasty retreat across the street with Claude to investigate the strange clunking noise coming from Claude's car. Jamie decided that it was an ideal time to broach a subject with Rodney that had been on his mind for some time. He sat down on the couch and handed Rodney a present.

"I want pictures," Jamie said.

Rodney stared at Jamie, dumbstruck. "What?"

Jamie smiled gently. "When the baby's born, I want pictures. I assume you'll be sending some to Jeannie, so you can send some to me too."

Rodney gazed around the living room wildly, as if seeking an escape route. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Jamie squeezed his hand. "Honey, I may not be the sharpest eyebrow pencil at the cosmetics counter, but I'm not stupid," he said. "You were somehow impregnated, possibly by aliens, which is why you came here in the first place, isn't it? And, now, you have to go back because the baby's almost due."

Rodney feigned laughter. "No, it's a teratoma, like you said before."

Jamie gave Rodney a pitying look. "Sweetie, I think we both know that isn't true." He gazed down at the present Rodney was holding limply in his hands. "Aren't you going to open it?"

"What?" Rodney glanced down at the gift. "Oh. Right." He slowly tore away the wrapping paper and then was lifting up a tiny knitted sweater. It was pale green with yellow ducks. Rodney's fear level went up a notch.

"I didn't know what you were expecting, so I didn't go with pink or blue," Jamie said. "I couldn't resist these duckies, though. Aren't they precious?" Rodney dropped the sweater hastily, and Jamie patted his shoulder. "I won't tell anyone. I won't even tell my family." Jamie stood up. "I'd better go rescue Sheppard before Claude hauls out our busted lawnmower from the shed and gets him to take a look at that too." Jamie started heading towards the front hall.

Rodney closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "It's a girl."

Jamie spun around, grinning. "I thought it might be. You're carrying high."

Rodney stared at Jamie in disbelief. "Uh, you do realize that predicting a baby's gender based on its position is an old wives' tale that has absolutely no basis in science, right?"

Jamie shrugged. "It worked, didn't it?"

Rodney glared at him. "You had a 50/50 chance of being right."

"Yes, but there was also a 50/50 chance that I could have been wrong," Jamie said.

"_What_?"

Carson walked into the living room. For a second, it looked like he might be okay, but then his eyes began to overflow again and he was forced to return to the bathroom.

When it came time for them to leave Scarborough, Carson also had trouble containing his emotions. He wasn't alone. Everyone was fighting back tears.

Sheppard had to clear his throat a couple of times when Andrew's bottom lip started trembling. "Your uncle and I will visit you and your mom as often as we can," he said, pulling Andrew into his arms.

Andrew was visibly upset when Rodney hugged him, but, then, Rodney was crying too. Unable to speak, Rodney kissed the top of Andrew's head. However, Jeannie wasn't willing to accept the silent treatment.

"I want pictures," she told Rodney. "Lots of pictures. And you'd better come for a visit. Soon."

"Okay," Rodney whispered.

When Jeannie hugged Sheppard, she said, "You take good care of my brother and the baby, or I'm going to come to the Pegasus Galaxy and kick your ass."

Sheppard smiled. "Understood."

When Carson was faced with having to say goodbye to Jeannie and Andrew, he wrapped his arms around both of them, making no effort to hide his tears. "I'll come back. I promise."

Jeannie nodded against Carson's shoulder. "Of course you will," she said, though she didn't sound convinced.

Carson cupped Jeannie's face in his hands and kissed her. "I love you."

Jeannie bit back a sob. "I love you too."

Sheppard draped his arms over Rodney's and Carson's shoulders as they walked down the driveway. In an effort to give their Atlantis colleagues some privacy, O'Neill and Carter had stayed in the car. However, as soon as they saw the state Carson was in, they both got out. O'Neill handed Carson an entire box of tissues, and Carter hugged him tightly.

As they drove away, Carson didn't dare look back. He was afraid that if he caught another glimpse of Jeannie and Andrew, he would jump out of the car and run back to the house.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
That morning, as they had finished off their packing, Rodney had confided to Carson that his biggest concern, after dealing with the brass at the SGC, was the border crossing. Carson could tell by the dark circles under Rodney's eyes that Rodney had lost sleep worrying about it. And while Sheppard, O'Neill and Carter seemed outwardly calm, the border crossing was obviously something that was occupying their minds as well.

In a gas station convenience store in   
Oakville, Carson had seen them gather in a brief huddle. They had spoken in tense whispers, gazing over their shoulders cautiously in case they were overheard. Carson had quickly paid for Rodney's box of Smarties and had gotten out of there. When they reached Hamilton, O'Neill had parked the car outside a service centre, swapping seats with Sheppard.

"We're taking turns," O'Neill said as he climbed into the back seat beside Rodney, who was seated in the middle. Carson sensed that there was a little more to it than that, and so did Rodney, judging by his wide eyes and anxious expression. He had probably been counting on having Sheppard by his side when they reached the border.

As if sensing Rodney's discomfort, Sheppard swivelled around in the driver's seat and smiled. "We're hoping to use General O'Neill's considerable clout to avoid any hassles at the border, and seeing as he's a general it makes more sense for him to be chauffeured by a lower-ranking officer."

"But you don't have your uniform," Rodney said.

Sheppard grimaced in acknowledgement. "Yeah, I know, but I've got everything else I need."

Rodney still seemed apprehensive. "Maybe Sam should drive. She's in her uniform."

"Yes," Sheppard said, "but she outranks me. I think we'll present a better picture for the border guards if the lowest-ranking officer is playing chauffeur."

Rodney frowned. "But this vehicle isn't military issue. It's just a rental car."

Sheppard rolled his eyes in the rear-view mirror as he did up his seat belt. "With a general in the back seat, they're not going to care what kind of vehicle this is, Rodney."

"Maybe I should drive," Carson suggested. "I could tell them that you're my military escort."

"No, you're the doctor," O'Neill snapped. "You stay back here with the patient." Carter turned in the front passenger seat and glanced at O'Neill with a raised eyebrow. O'Neill scowled at her. "I'm not sitting beside a pregnant man if his doctor isn't back here with me."

Carson snorted. "If Rodney goes into labour, the seating arrangement is the last thing you're going to be worrying about."

O'Neill shot a stern look at Rodney. "_Don't_ go into labour."

Rodney glared at him. "Oh, gee, General, I'll try not to," he said. "However, if we sit here much longer, I can't guarantee that the little one is going to stay put."

O'Neill raised an eyebrow of his own then nodded. "Understood." He thumped the back of the driver's seat. "Home, James."

Any anxiety Rodney might have been feeling about the border crossing, or birth of his baby, didn't prevent him from being lulled to sleep by the swaying motion of the car. To O'Neill's chagrin, Rodney's head fell on his shoulder.

Sheppard almost drove off the road when he caught sight of Rodney in the rear-view mirror. "Oh! Uh...he didn't sleep well last night."

O'Neill couldn't help smiling despite his predicament. "It's okay. I'll live."

Carter's head spun around and she reached for her cell phone.

"Don't you dare take a picture, Carter!" O'Neill said. "That's an order!"

Carter pouted and lowered her hand. Fortunately, Carson had dug up his cell phone and snapped a picture for her.

O'Neill's eyes narrowed. "Why, you Scottish son of a--"

"Oh, look," Sheppard said. "We're almost there."

Both Carson and O'Neill looked out their respective windows and saw that they were approaching the Rainbow Bridge. They were so transfixed by it that they might have missed the Falls if they hadn't heard the roar of the water or noticed the mist rising in the air.

Once they had entered their lane, they had to wait almost 20 minutes before they reached the checkpoint. Carson was torn between nervousness and relief when he spotted the navy uniform, and a customs officer walked towards them. Rodney continued sleeping, blissfully unaware of what was happening around him.

Sheppard rolled down his window, and a pair of bright blue eyes peered into the car. The customs officer was clean-shaven and, to Carson, he seemed frighteningly young. However, he was thoroughly professional and didn't even blink when he was handed three military ID cards.

"Sir, may I ask you the nature of your trip?"

"We're returning home from a vacation," Sheppard said.

The customs officer glanced at Sheppard's passengers. "All of you?" he asked. Then his eyes widened when he got a second look at Rodney. "Oh my God. Is he--?"

Carson leaned between the two front seats. "It's a teratoma," he said.

"A _what_?" The customs officer looked confused.

Carson sighed. He couldn't believe he was about to do this. "It's like that guy in _Grey's Anatomy_ with the tumor -- the one that made him look pregnant."

The customs officer put his hands on his hips. "I don't watch _Grey's Anatomy_."

"Oh." Carson tried not to panic.

"But my grandfather had a neoplastic tumour," the customs officer said. "Is it anything like that?"

Carson released the breath he'd been holding. "Aye. Close enough."

The customs officer nodded. "Well, I hope he'll be okay. Does he have anything to declare, besides the teratoma?"

O'Neill looked down at the man who was sound asleep on his shoulder. "I think he's still got some Smarties."

The customs officer smiled. "Unless he's got a couple of suitcases full, it shouldn't be a problem, General." He patted the roof of the car. "Welcome home."

It wasn't until they were driving through New York State that Rodney stirred and woke, lifting his head from O'Neill's shoulder. "Where are we?" he asked.

"Well, it certainly ain't OZ, Dorothy," O'Neill said.

Rodney frowned. "Kansas?"

Carter laughed and turned around in her seat. "Buffalo, Rodney. We're in Buffalo."

Rodney gaped at Carter. "Buffalo? But-but...When did we cross the border?"

"About fifteen minutes ago," Sheppard said.

"Why didn't anyone wake me?" Rodney asked.

Sheppard smirked in the rear-view mirror. "We didn't have the heart to. You looked so peaceful."

O'Neill grimaced. "Yeah, it was freakin' adorable."

Rodney stared at O'Neill in surprise before his eyes slid to the shoulder he'd been sleeping on. "Did you spill something on your uniform? It looks wet."

O'Neill glanced down in alarm. "Oh, for crying out loud!"

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
O'Neill's mood didn't improve when he learned that the flight he had arranged from Andrews Air Force Base -- the one that had required strings to be pulled and favours to be cashed in -- wasn't a viable travel option.

"Rodney is in the third trimester of what is already a complicated pregnancy," Carson said. "We just can't take the risk."

"And how is taking a long road trip any better?" O'Neill asked. "Who's to say he's any less likely to run into complications on the ground?"

Carson sighed. "If he's on the ground, he's closer to a hospital."

"Hospital?" Rodney cried. "No, no, no, no, no! We can't go to a hospital!"

"It would only be as a last resort, Rodney," Carson said.

"It had better be," O'Neill grumbled. He crossed his arms and stared out the car window for a moment before his eyes flew to Carter. "Why am I only hearing about this now? I would have thought we'd cover this _before_ leaving."

Carter lifted her head from the road map and smiled at O'Neill sweetly. "I was afraid you might object, sir."

O'Neill gritted his teeth. "Well, you're right. I do object. I was led to believe that I only had to get you as far as Washington."

"We're still going to Washington," Sheppard said. "We'll drop you off and then continue on from there."

O'Neill's eyes narrowed. "Just me? What about Carter?"

This time, Carter kept her eyes fastened on the road map. "I'm going with them, sir."

"Oh, you are, are you?" O'Neill looked at Rodney, who was happily munching on the rest of his Smarties, and shook his head. "This is nuts. You're trying to keep this pregnancy under wraps and, yet, you're going to drive across several states with Exhibit A in the back seat."

"Well, I'm not riding in the trunk!" Rodney said.

"Well, obviously not. You probably won't fit for one thing." O'Neill massaged the bridge of his nose as if he could feel a headache coming on. "I meant that you'll be out in the open longer. You'll need to stop for meals and book into at least a couple of motels. Then there will be the frequent stops you'll need to make, so the pregnant man can stretch his legs and relieve himself."

Sheppard glanced at O'Neill in the rear-view mirror. "I know it's not ideal, sir, but we're going to try to eliminate the risks whenever possible," he said. "We'll be getting a lot of takeout, which Rodney, at least, will be eating in the car. Rodney will also stay in the car when we're signing into motels -- the smaller, the better -- and go to his room after we've been given the key. We'll leave early in the morning, making sure Rodney's in the car before too many people are up and about."

"And when it comes to the inevitable call of nature?" O'Neill asked.

"Sheppard is going to try to stick to the backroads as much as possible," Rodney said. "We're hoping we'll encounter a lot of trees, but I've also brought something in case of emergencies." He lifted a large plastic bottle, which O'Neill eyed in horror. "What? The men in deep submersibles pee in bottles, and no one gives them grief for it."

O'Neill ran a hand across his face. "I know I'm going to regret saying this, but you'll probably save some time if you don't drop me off in Washington." Three pairs of eyes turned to stare at him. The fourth pair widened in the rear-view mirror, but, otherwise, remained focused on the road. O'Neill shrugged. "It's been ages since I've eaten crappy food and stayed in bad motels. It should be fun."

Carter grinned at him. "You just want to get out of all that paperwork that's been piling up on your desk."

"Well, yes," O'Neill said. "There's that too."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
By the time they reached Cheyenne Mountain, O'Neill had vowed that he would never go on a road trip again. He told Major General Hank Landry as much when he walked into his office.

"Carter and McKay played 'Name Your Favourite Physicist' for, like, three hours," O'Neill said, "and I lost track of how many games of 'Prime, Not Prime' I suffered through."

Landry sat back in this chair, studying O'Neill in amusement. "As fascinating as all this is, General, you haven't told me the reason why you were on this road trip in the first place."

O'Neill rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Oh? I haven't?"

"No, you haven't." Landry folded his hands on his desk. "I could be mistaken, but I'm assuming this would have something to do with McKay and Beckett's disappearance."

O'Neill nodded. "Yeah, I'm afraid it does, General." He took a deep breath. "Carter called and asked me to come to Toronto because McKay was seeking safe passage back to Atlantis."

Landry raised an eyebrow. "Safe passage?"

O'Neill sighed. "This isn't easy to say, so I'm just going to spit it out. McKay's pregnant and he thinks we want to steal his baby."

Landry's mouth fell open. "I'm sorry. Come again?"

O'Neill closed his eyes. "Apparently, McKay was implanted with the embryo of an ascended Ancient. When he learned that he was pregnant, he became convinced that we were going to kidnap him and conduct experiments, so he fled to Canada."

Landry frowned. "And by 'we,' you mean...?"

"The American government and the military," O'Neill said.

"Ah, I see." Landry sat in silence, digesting the news. Then he burst out laughing.

O'Neill gaped at Landry in surprise before his own lips started twitching and he found himself laughing as well.

"I'm sorry," Landry said, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. "It's the funniest thing I've heard in weeks. I knew McKay was a bit of a headcase, but I had no idea..." This set Landry off again and rendered him speechless. When he had recovered, his voice sounded strained and hoarse. "Where is McKay now?"

"He's in the briefing room with Carter, Sheppard and Beckett," O'Neill said.

"Well, I guess I'd better go talk to him." Landry stood up and walked around his desk.

When they arrived in the briefing room, Rodney, Sheppard, Carson and Carter were seated around the table. Sheppard and Carter rose from their chairs and saluted when O'Neill and Landry entered the room. Rodney and Carson looked nervous and tense. Landry smiled and rubbed his hands together.

"So, I hear congratulations are in order," Landry said. He held out his hand to Rodney, who hesitated a moment before shaking it. "Do you know if it's going to be a boy or a girl?"

Rodney looked at Sheppard and Carter, unsure what to say. "It's a girl."

"That's wonderful," Landry said. "I'm sure a daughter will bring you great joy."

Rodney stared down at the table uncomfortably. "Yes, I'm sure she will."

Landry exchanged a meaningful look with O'Neill. "Well, you must all be anxious to return to Atlantis. If there's nothing else you require, you can be on your way."

Rodney's head jerked up. "You're going to let us go? Just like that?"

"Uh, is that a problem?" O'Neill asked.

Rodney slapped his hand on the table. "Yes, it's a problem," he said. "You people aren't even trying. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you weren't interested in me and the baby at all."

Sheppard gripped Rodney's arm. "Rodney..."

Rodney shrugged off Sheppard's hand. "No, I'm the first man to become pregnant -- pregnant with a ten thousand year old embryo, I might add -- and, yet, there's been no mention of incarceration or experimentation of any kind. Have you got something better? A grandmother expecting Asgard twins, perhaps?"

"Rodney..." Sheppard growled.

Landry crossed his arms and gazed at Rodney sternly. "Do you really think we'd do that? That we'd hold you against your will and conduct experiments?"

Rodney looked away and shrugged. "Maybe."

"Oh, for Pete's sake," O'Neill said.

Landry laid a hand on Rodney's shoulder. "Son, your baby is important to us and, naturally, we'd like to learn more about her, but we have no intention of taking her away from you. Considering the amount of Ancient technology that exists in the Pegasus Galaxy, it would be in our best interests if you were to raise her in Atlantis. This would give her an opportunity to learn about her unique heritage and interact with Ancient technology. In turn, we'll be able to study her in what might have been her home, if her biological mother had carried her to term."

Rodney met Landry's eyes reluctantly. "But you won't need me for that. What's to stop you from hiring a group of scientists to keep her in a lab and experiment on her?"

"Because, like it or not, you're her mother now," Landry said. "She needs you. _We_ need you. A screwed up little girl isn't going to do us much good. No, to conduct a proper study, we're going to need a subject that is being raised in a stable and nurturing environment. You can give her that, Dr. McKay."

Rodney took a moment to consider what Landry had said. "Can I have that in writing?"

Sheppard groaned and put his head in his hands. "Rodney!"

"What?" Rodney demanded. "This is our kid's future we're talking about."

Wisely choosing to ignore the 'our,' Landry said, "Yes, you can have it in writing."

Rodney gave a curt nod. "Thank you, General."

Landry patted Rodney on the back. "Oh, it's my pleasure, Dr. McKay, believe me."

Landry ended up accompanying everyone to the gate room, his eyes twinkling as Carter gave Rodney a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, despite Sheppard's malevolent glare. As Rodney, Sheppard and Carson walked up the ramp, Landry said, "Be sure to take lots of pictures. The more, the better."

Sheppard beamed at Landry. "Yes, sir. Will do."

"After I have that written agreement," Rodney added.

Sheppard rolled his eyes then gently grasped Rodney's arm as they stepped through the gate with Carson.

"Sheppard will be a good dad," Landry said after the three men disappeared into the dazzling blue pool at the end of the ramp.

Maintaining a completely neutral expression, O'Neill nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
As they stepped through the gate on Atlantis, the first thing Carson's eyes fell on was the huge WELCOME HOME banner that had been suspended from the balcony. Then there were people flooding into the gate room, and Carson was being lifted off his feet as Ronon engulfed him in a bear hug. However, silence descended as people started noticing Rodney's belly.

Sheppard wrapped an arm around Rodney's shoulders as Rodney pressed back against him. Elizabeth pushed her way through the crowd, her eyes filling with tears when she looked at Rodney.

"Oh, Rodney, is this why you left?" Elizabeth asked.

"Well...yeah," Rodney said.

Elizabeth shook her head, though she couldn't hide the fond expression on her face. "Oh, Rodney."

Sheppard removed his arm from Rodney's shoulders as Elizabeth hugged them both. Then, as Elizabeth embraced Carson, Teyla and Ronon approached Rodney, touching his belly almost reverently. This seemed to be the only encouragement the rest of their friends needed, and soon Rodney had several more hands on his belly.

"When are you due, doc?" Lorne asked. "Do you know what the sex is?"

"We must hold a celebration," Teyla said. "You call it a baby shower, do you not?"

Zelenka began buzzing around Rodney in excitement. "How did this happen? Was it done through Ancient technology? You must tell us, Rodney."

"Hey, how are you going to get the baby out?" Ronon asked. "Is Carson going to cut you open?"

When a couple of Marines thumped Rodney on the back, and half a dozen scientists whipped out scanners, Rodney turned pale and tried to shrink away from them.

"All right, everyone, back off!" Sheppard barked. "He's had a long trip and he needs to rest!"

A path was instantly cleared for them, and Sheppard kept a secure hold on Rodney as they left the gate room. Carson was about to follow, but the path disappeared and he was quickly surrounded. It was only after he had fielded everyone's questions that he was allowed to go.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
All of Atlantis became obsessed with the baby. Teyla did, indeed, hold a baby shower, which took place in the mess hall because everyone wanted to attend. However, even after the baby shower, gifts were being left outside Rodney's door. A number of these presents were Athosian, and Carson wondered if they had been sent by the Athosians themselves, or if Atlantis personnel had picked them up from the mainland. The scientists had even started a baby betting pool, which was a little ridiculous considering that Rodney would be having a caesarian section -- not that Carson knew when the exact date would be either. He was monitoring Rodney's condition on a day-by-day basis.

He wanted to put off the birth for as long as possible, but he knew that Rodney's body hadn't been designed to hold a baby. Carson was worried about the parts of Rodney's anatomy that wouldn't normally be pressed against a uterus. There was also the baby's welfare to consider as she would require more and more space as she continued to develop. An even bigger concern was engagement. When, at 37 weeks, the baby began to turn towards the birth canal -- the one Rodney didn't possess -- Carson knew it was time to deliver her.

Sheppard arrived in the infirmary two minutes after he was summoned on the radio. Carson's staff was still setting up equipment, but Rodney had changed into a hospital gown and was sitting on a bed, looking like he wanted to throw up. Sheppard sat down beside him and started to rub his back gently.

"Carson says it won't hurt, but that it will feel strange to have people poking around inside of me," Rodney said.

Sheppard kissed his forehead. "You'll be fine, Rodney. Carson and his people know what they're doing."

Rodney nodded, but he was clutching the edge of the mattress tightly. "What if something goes wrong? They've never performed this procedure on a man before. What if something happens to the baby when they're trying to get her out, or-or they can't stop the bleeding." Rodney grabbed Sheppard's hand. "Promise me to look after the baby if something happens to me."

Sheppard looked Rodney straight in the eyes, his gaze unflinching. "Nothing is going to happen to you."

"Yes, but if it does..." Rodney said.

Sheppard sighed and gave in. "Fine. Although nothing is going to go wrong, I promise to look after the baby in the unlikely event that you can't take care of her yourself."

Rodney smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

When everything was ready, Rodney was helped on to the operating table and surgical drapes were set up to block Rodney's view of the procedure. Once the anaesthetist had administered the epidural, Sheppard took a seat by Rodney's head.

The delivery started off well. Once Carson had made an incision across the lower abdomen and had opened the womb, it took less than five minutes to deliver the baby. Carson's assistant, Jennifer Keller, was holding up the tiny pink infant, when Rodney started haemorrhaging.

"We've got a bleeder!" Carson shouted. The nurse standing to Carson's right handed him a clamp without being asked as Carson frantically tried to stop the bleeding.

Carson had discussed with Rodney whether he would like to opt for a caesarian hysterectomy, but Rodney had already been dreading the c-section. The idea of a riskier operation that would involve a longer, and more painful, recovery process didn't appeal to Rodney. He had decided that he would leave the uterus intact for the time being. Now, it looked as if Carson would have to remove it after all.

Carson was about to ask the anaesthetist to administer a general anaesthetic, when there was a bright flash of light and a beautiful dark-haired woman was standing on the other side of the operating table. Carson was so startled, he almost dropped his clamp. Without a word, the woman held both hands over the exposed uterus. To Carson's amazement, the bleeding not only stopped but the uterus disappeared altogether. Then the incision Carson had made to Rodney's lower abdomen closed up and all evidence of the traverse cut faded.

Everyone was so stunned by what they had just witnessed that they almost didn't notice Keller returning to the operating table with the baby in her arms.

As soon as Rodney had started haemorrhaging, Keller had snipped the umbilical cord and had gone off with a nurse to check the baby. Keller had needed to suction away some lung fluid and mucus from the mouth, nose and throat, but that was hardly unusual with a caesarian birth. After taking measurements of the baby, Keller had wrapped her up in a blanket, hoping Rodney would still be able to see her. However, what Keller hadn't been expecting was to encounter a woman she'd never seen before or a patient exhibiting no signs of having undergone surgery.

When the woman began to approach Keller, the young doctor backed away and Sheppard leapt out of his chair. Rodney raised his head and, although his voice was a little weak, it was still loud enough to reach everyone's ears. "Let her see her baby."

Sheppard, who had run between the Ancient and Keller, shook his head. "No, it's _your_ baby. You carried her, so that makes you the mother."

"If it wasn't for our Ancient friend, here, none of this would even be happening," Rodney said. "Sheppard, let her see the baby, or we're through. I'll never speak to you again."

Sheppard shot a furious look at Rodney, before realizing that the surgical drapes were still hiding Rodney from view. He turned his attention on the Ancient and glared at her instead. The Ancient studied Sheppard calmly, but didn't make any further attempts to see the baby. Then Keller was stepping around Sheppard and standing before the Ancient.

The Ancient's face lit up and she reached out to stroke the baby's cheek with a finger. Then she waved an arm towards the operating table and went to stand beside Rodney. Sheppard and Keller were right behind her.

"May I see her?" Rodney asked Keller.

"What?" Keller said. "Oh, right! Yes, of course!" She bent over and carefully placed the baby in Rodney's arms. Rodney stared at the baby, completely entranced. Then his head turned sharply towards the Ancient.

"Really?" Rodney said. "You like it? It's a little unusual, but I thought it was somehow appropriate, given where we are and everything."

The Ancient inclined her head and smiled.

"Well, if you're absolutely sure then of course I'll use it." Rodney focused his attention back on the baby, kissing the top of her head. Then Rodney was being kissed in turn as the Ancient leaned down to brush her lips against his cheek. The next instant the Ancient was gone.

"What did she say to you?" Sheppard asked. "What was it that she liked?"

Rodney bit his lip and looked sheepish. "She approves of the name I was considering for the baby."

Sheppard's eyebrows rose. "Oh? And what would that be?"

Rodney looked up at Sheppard's expectant face and took a deep breath. "Brenna. It's Gaelic for 'little drop of water'."

"Why, that's lovely," Carson said, peering at Rodney and the baby from the other side of the surgical drapes. "It's certainly fitting for a wee lass born in Atlantis. Don't you think so, Colonel?"

"It's a pretty name, but I'm not sure if it suits her." Sheppard was scrutinizing the baby, as if attempting to determine whether the name matched the face.

"Maybe if you tried holding her, you'd know," Keller suggested.

Rodney nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, you haven't had your turn yet."

"Okay." Sheppard lifted the bundle from Rodney's arms and studied the sleeping baby. Then the baby opened her eyes and looked directly at Sheppard. The breath caught in Sheppard's throat as he saw the colour of the waves outside Atlantis on a stormy day. "Brenna is perfect," Sheppard said.

"What about a middle name?" Keller asked. "Were you going to give her one?"

Rodney glanced at Carson. "I was thinking of Isobel."

Carson's eyes widened. "Isobel? Why, that's my mum's name."

"I know," Rodney said. "I thought it would also be appropriate."

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Two weeks after Brenna Isobel McKay was born, Carson found himself standing outside Rodney's quarters. He paused for a second before ringing the door chime. When the door swished open, Carson walked into the room to find an exhausted, but contented, Sheppard cradling his daughter against his chest.

"Oh," Carson said. "I didn't mean to disturb you. I came to see Rodney, but, as he isn't here..."

Sheppard laughed tiredly. "He's in the bathroom. Brenna spit up all over Mommy, didn't you, sweet pea?"

"And Daddy didn't do a damn thing about it -- just took a picture." Rodney walked out of the bathroom and glared at Sheppard, though his expression softened a little when his eyes fell on the baby. Rodney also looked completely worn out, and Carson knew he had chosen a bad time to speak to him. Carson was about to make his excuses and leave, but Rodney ushered him over to the bed and pushed Carson down on the mattress.

As if reading Carson's mind, Rodney said, "I was wondering when you were going to come talk to me."

Carson gulped. "You did?"

Rodney sat down on the bed as well, leaning back against the headboard and closing his eyes. "Well, yeah. It's been two weeks since Brenna was born. I'm surprised you're still here."

"What do you mean?" Carson asked, though he was pretty sure he knew.

Rodney snorted and opened his eyes. "You're here to ask me for my blessings, aren't you?"

Carson blushed. "Well...yes. I suppose I am."

Rodney clapped Carson on the shoulder. "But you have them already. You've always had them. I thought you knew that."

"Maybe he actually needed to hear the words," Sheppard said from his chair.

Rodney gazed up at the ceiling. "Well, fine, then. You have my blessings to go and...and officially date my sister."

Carson looked down at his hands. "Rodney, I want to ask Jeannie to marry me."

Rodney's jaw dropped. "You do? Really?"

"Yes, Rodney," Carson said. "I love her. I love her so much it hurts to be away from her."

"Then go and marry her, you idiot! What are you waiting for?" Rodney stood up and hauled Carson to his feet. Then he was hugging him fiercely. "We're going to be brothers, and you'll be Brenna's uncle."

Carson returned the hug. "Well, let's not be too hasty. We don't know if she'll accept yet."

"She'll accept, Carson," Sheppard said. "I know she will."

"Yes, she'll accept. She'd be crazy not to." Rodney grabbed Carson's arm and started pulling him towards the door. "You need to speak to Elizabeth."

Carson stared at Rodney in confusion. "What? You mean right now? But it's almost 2200."

"Well, there's no time like the present," Rodney said. "Besides, you'll need to talk to her if you're going to get a seat on the Daedalus bright and early tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow morning?" Carson gasped. "But I'll need to pack and say goodbye to everyone."

Sheppard rose from his chair to join them by the door. "We can see to it that your things are packed and sent to you. As for those goodbyes...Well, I'm sure people will understand under the circumstances."

Carson nodded, though he still seemed uncertain. "I hope you're right about this. Maybe, in the mean time, you could do something else for me."

"What, Carson?" Rodney asked.

"Wish me luck," Carson said.

  


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ 

  
Andrew was working on an exercise in his cahier when the doorbell rang. As his mom had gone down to the basement to fetch the laundry, Andrew got up from the kitchen table and walked to the front door. When he saw who was standing there, his mouth fell open in surprise.

"Hi," Carson said. "I'm a friend of your mum's."

Andrew grinned and threw his arms around Carson's neck.

"Andrew, was that the doorbell? Who is it?" Jeannie appeared in the front hall and froze when she caught sight of Carson.

Carson smiled tentatively at her. "I'm moving to Scarborough and I wondered if I could stay with you."

Jeannie glanced from Carson to the duffle bag at his feet. "For how long?" she asked.

"For as long as you'll have me," Carson said.

"I see." Jeannie seized Carson by the front of his shirt and kissed him. "I think you'd better come in."

  



End file.
